tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77550869758106052712024-02-08T07:23:42.899-08:00Brit PA in HW/NY/UK and the fun involved.Before we begin; an explanation and a disclaimer. All events in these diary entries are true, apart from those that aren't. I've had to change names, ages, descriptions to protect the identity of those I work for and with. I am posting this with the full consent of my boss (He's awesome). There will be a LOT of swearing. If this offends you, please do not readAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-89570473773203263862012-11-06T05:46:00.000-08:002012-11-06T05:46:46.576-08:00Lack of PostsApologies for the lack of posts. Sandy is an evil bitch and I've been trying to get in contact with people and sort some junk out behind the scenes Grrrrrr! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-75837023041229110552012-10-30T01:09:00.002-07:002012-10-30T01:09:29.680-07:00Cupcakes and Scrapbooks
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I didn’t sleep last night, but
hadn’t really expected to. I had the same thoughts swirling around my head over
and over and over. My eyes felt as though they had dried out from being open so
long and sleeping just wasn’t an option. I was up at 3am icing cupcakes, but
that didn’t take as long as I had hoped, even being obsessively neat about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I turned on my laptop, reported the three new hate groups,
read a few messages from the delightful people on Twitter just to make myself
feel even shittier, and went on to Van’s page. He hadn’t updated it again since
the photo. I put on the TV, trying to find the most mindless show that I could.
I wanted to turn my brain off and be distracted. Unfortunately, for once,
everything was of an intelligent nature; documentaries, history shows and
debates. I searched the movie channels and found one of Van’s. It was halfway
through but I didn’t care. Seeing him on the screen caused the tears to start,
and I sat there, wrapped in his robe, bawling my eyes out like a complete
lunatic. The movie itself seemed to be a thriller, and my beloved was the bad
guy, which was slightly unreal considering how sweet he was. His voice was
lower, his sandy hair dyed brown and it was longer so it hung in his eyes. His
character was utterly heartless and without morals, but I just enjoyed hearing
his voice again. I dozed for a little while, and when I woke again, the sun was
fully up and the flat was full of an orange glow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was still shattered, but at least now I could get out of
the flat. I boxed up some of the cupcakes and took them to the sweet guy at reception
(he was very flattered and wouldn’t stop saying thank you.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The sun blazed in a way I
hadn’t experienced since I’d been here, but I wasn’t about to complain. I was
still in love with the sun despite the thick coating of sunscreen I’d drowned
myself in before leaving the building.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’d had an idea last night
(whilst staring at the ceiling for hours) and wanted to make a start on it. I
would need a newsagent’s and an art supply shop. I could have asked for
directions, but I really hadn’t explored as much as I should have. If I was
still going to New York I wouldn’t be here much longer and needed to make the
most of it. Besides, I had too much time to kill as it was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As I walked, I texted Sofia. I asked how she and Luke were
and mentioned that I hadn’t heard from Van. She replied instantly saying that
Van seemed really down, but insisted he was fine. He was hiding it well enough
from Luke, but when he wasn’t around he looked morose and depressed. She said
he was catching a flight back to me at 6pm, so probably wouldn’t be back at the
flat until late. I thanked her and carried on searching for the shops I needed.
This was not good. If he wouldn’t even talk to Sofia (and she is the easiest
person on the planet to talk to) something must be really wrong. I ignored the
guilt gnawing away at my insides as I really had no clue as to what I could
have done. It was still there though, trying to get me to feed it with even
more things I should feel bad about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I eventually found a newsagent that sold everything under
the sun, or somewhere close. They had a scrapbook in the size I wanted, and a
whole wall dedicated to magazines. I quickly had a look through them and
grabbed any with Van in (over 20!) I was searching for more, when I saw a girl
who looked a lot like me on the front cover of a magazine that is notorious for
made up stories. I was on the front page of a magazine! How scary! They were
still running the story that I was pregnant, but this time with triplets and I
was only three months gone apparently. That was reassuring to know. We’d have
to think up a third crazy name for when the triplets are born. I rolled my eyes
as I read on, but had to buy three copies as I was so in shock at being a front
page story (even if it was complete tosh.) I would send one to my mum, but I
wasn’t sure if she’d find it as funny as I did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lugging all the magazines back to the flat was not fun. The
sun was getting insanely hot and the bags were really heavy. I made it
eventually and laid them all out on the table to hack to pieces. Yes, I was
scrapbooking. No I was not getting to that point where I was making them of Van
so I could look at them and cry every time I missed him. I was making them for
Luke. I knew his parents did everything they could to protect him from the craziness
of their lives, which wasn’t always possible unfortunately, so I was trying to
document everything his dad had done as much as possible for him to look over
when he was older. Sure, he was twelve, but they were still keeping him out of
photos and the media as much as was possible (not easy when you constantly have
a camera shoved in your face.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was happily cutting up magazines, surrounded by a sea of
scrap paper, my hands covered in glue, and with a paper cut bleeding on to the
table, when Van walked in. Fuck. I look like shit and the table is a complete
mess! I was supposed to have time to clear up and make myself look…well, not
pretty, but at least remove the glue from my skin and tidy myself up. I was
staring at him in shock, my hands dropping to my sides. The blood dripped in a
steady pattern onto the carpet. The cream carpet that we didn’t own. I barely
noticed. Van’s expression was guarded, a frown on his face as he met my eyes.
He was angry at me, it was obvious. I just wish he’d tell me what I’d done so I
could at least try and fix it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It would be nice to see you just once when you’ve not been
injured.” He said in a clipped voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Shit!” I said, catching the blood in my other hand and
running to the sink. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I washed my hands off and
stuck a plaster over the paper cut. It was pretty pathetic, but wouldn’t stop
bleeding. I grabbed a cloth and rushed over to the stain, dabbing it and
scrubbing manically. It began to spread, turning pink and bleeding outwards. I
was making it worse. To add to the fun, the plaster came off my finger and it
began bleeding over the stain some more. Awesome. I could feel the tears coming
and gave up trying to stop them. I was exhausted, confused and making things
worse. I covered my face with my hands and just sobbed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I jumped when his hand began rubbing my back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s just a carpet, it’s not worth getting upset about.”
He said softly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t care about the fucking carpet!” I said between
sobs. “I’ve been freaking out since you left about what I’ve done wrong and I
still have no clue. If you want me to leave, I will, but please tell me what I
did wrong.” I dissolved into a new round of tears, sniffling like an idiot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He took a tissue from his
pocket and pulled my hands from my face. He proceeded to gently wipe away all
my tears, then the blood I’d managed to smear across my cheek. He sighed
deeply, looking for the right words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I haven’t been fair to you, I stormed off in a mood
without any explanation…Let me get you cleaned up then we’ll sit down and talk
about it ok?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded, swallowing hard to
stop the tears from starting again. He lead me over to the sink and cleaned my
hand up, wiping the dried blood that had run down my forearm to my elbow. His
hands were deft and gentle. Being the coward that I am, I couldn’t meet his eyes,
I looked at my feet, noticing droplets of blood on my socks. This country made
me bleed a lot it seemed. I didn’t know what to do, what to say, so I stood
there in silence as he stuck a plaster on my finger and lead me to the sofa. He
sat and patted the cushion next to him. I took a deep breath and let it out
slowly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This was going to be ‘the talk’. The ‘I don’t think we
should work together anymore’ talk, or the ‘I don’t think we should live
together anymore’ talk, or the ‘I’m taking out a restraining order against you’
talk. Regardless of its subject matter, the pained expression on his face made
me think it couldn’t be good. Everything had been going so well though, we got
on, we laughed at the same stupid things, we were good for each other, even if
it was just as friends. Just as employer and employee. I didn’t want to think
what my life would be like without him. It was pathetic and needy, but I’d
never felt like this about anyone before, and it was pulling me to pieces.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know Sofia told you about my last PA, but did she tell
you about my latest ex?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I shook my head, watching my
hands fighting in my lap. I didn’t want to see if there was hatred in his eyes,
regardless of how soft and gentle his voice was. This was the trouble with
actors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“She was a lot like you actually; sweet, grounded,
compassionate. She encouraged me to quit smoking, cut down on the drinking and
made sure I ate three meals a day. She was also sleeping with most of the
actors I worked with. She had one thing on her mind and it was her ambition.
She didn’t care about me and stole phone number for contacts, insisted I
introduce her to people she had no need to know… but I wanted to help her
because she had helped me so much. Things fell apart quite quickly when she
started selling stories to the papers about my alcoholism, drug taking and
anything else she thought they might pay to hear. They didn’t care if it was
true or not, and nor did she. There was no evidence, but that didn’t matter. My
career was in shreds as no one wanted to hire someone with so many issues.
Sofia and Luke were the only things that got me through it. Sofia would counter
every story she told, providing evidence. Things gradually improved again, then
I had the PA do almost exactly the same thing to me. My ex is still selling
kiss and tells about all the people she has slept with, and none of them seem
to learn from it. I ran away because…Georgiana I care about you far more than
as a PA, as a friend. I thought you felt the same way until you said to your
mom that I was just your boss. It scared me because it was starting to play out
like it had with my ex and PA. You looked after me and ensured I looked after
myself, you genuinely seemed to care and…” He trailed off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve never asked for anything from you.” I said. “Just
your company and attention occasionally.” I said in a feeble voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know. I pinned my hopes on this being different, but
what you said on the phone…”<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I said that so YOU didn’t freak out! Jesus Van, you are so
bloody blonde! I hang on to your every word! You’re all I think about, all I
care about. The last two days have been utterly miserable. I haven’t known what
to do with myself and I’ve spent a lot of it staring at walls and cyber
stalking you!” I stopped myself before I sounded any more desperate than I
already did. Well, the cards were now of the table, I would be kicked out in an
instant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why didn’t you tell me?” His eyes were incredulous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hmmmm, I wonder. Could it be that you’re a hugely
successful movie star and I’m just a freak from a small town in England? Or the
fact that one of your ex’s is a frigging super model? Or it could be the fear
of losing a job that I love. Why in God’s name would I tell you? That just
leaves me open for fifteen thousand different kinds of rejection!” I met his
eye and regretted it. His mouth was hanging open in horror, his eyes almost as
wide. Excellent. Good going George, you’re not going to see him for dust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He shook his head and thought
for a moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is entirely too grade school to be true. I like liked
you and you like liked me and neither of us told each other.” He said in a
cutesy sing song voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” I asked, my mouth echoing what his had just done.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“George, I’m crazy about you and I don’t even think I’m
very good at hiding it. In fact, I suck. First thing Sofia said to me when I
mentioned you was; ‘You like her don’t you?’” His eyes were shining brightly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sofia is psychic I swear.” I said. “You…you want to be
with me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“A little slow on the uptake aren’t you Mac?” He said with
a grin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Well I was not expecting that,
in fact it was the antithesis of what I had been predicting him to say. I’d
actually packed my case this morning because I had expected this to go in the
opposite direction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve been wandering around the flat wearing your robe. I
even slept in it.” I said in a small voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And now you’re making a scrapbook of me?” He asked,
looking over at the table, his left eyebrow raised.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No, it’s for Luke. I know you don’t let him read about you
in the papers so I thought I’d start collecting them for when he’s older. I’m
not completely whacked out just yet.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His expression softened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re doing it for Luke? That’s…that’s really sweet
Iana.” His smile was contagious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I took a minute to study him
for the first time since he’d returned to me. He looked even more tired than
usual, his eyes ringed, but perky and alive. He was growing stubble which was
incredibly cute and made him look a little closer to his actual age. I still
couldn’t associate him with a 30 something year old man, that was just insane.
He was my age if not younger mentally. But we were both a pair of big kids. He
wore a long sleeved blue top with the sleeves rolled back. I was guessing New
York wasn’t as warm as Hollywood. He had the usual well-loved jeans which
matched the ones I was wearing. He looked like a softer version of himself in
the sense that his eyes were slightly dreamy, his voice almost a whisper when
he spoke now. I guessed it was so I would have to lean in to hear what he was
saying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I really, really missed you.” He said, taking my hand
between his and pressing it to his lips. “Like you wouldn’t believe. I was
unbearable in NY. Sofia was getting seriously pissed off at the pining. She
LOVED her picture by the way.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How’s Luke?” I said, ignoring the fact that he missed me.
I would be getting a gigantic ego if I thought about it too much. It was enough
to know it and feel the relief in every part of me that he cared as much as I
did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He made you a comic book. He’s obsessed with drawing at
the moment. It’s about Zombies as I told him you were a fan.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“AWESOME!” I said with a grin. “I made cupcakes. Pink,
especially for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You know me so well.” He rolled his eyes. “I only had
three cigarettes the whole time I was away.” He said proudly, looking at my
through his eye lashes. The sleeve on his top fell down and he twisted it
around his fingers almost shyly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“If I asked you out on a date, what would you say?” He
asked, pretending to be coy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’d have to check my schedule. I’m a very busy girl.” I
said sarcastically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So I gather from your voice mail. How in the hell did you
get those tight fisted bastards to agree to that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m a girl of many talents. It was good to vent at someone
as I wasn’t in the best mood over the weekend. I got recognised which was
scary. This girl just came up to me, staring at my stomach to see if I actually
was pregnant. She was hoping you were with me.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Where was this?” He asked, still holding my hand. He
traced circles into the back of it with his thumb.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I was out with Masa. See, I’m fighting men off with a
stick at the moment.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Masa?” I saw the exact second his eyes darkened and his
hackles rose. I loved it. He was actually jealous! Don’t get me wrong,
obviously I don’t want him to be unhappy, but at the same time, I was so
flattered I felt like doing a little happy dance around the couch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Masa is the guy that ran the Vegan bakery where I got the
cupcakes. He asked me out. I’ve seen him a couple of times…” He was about to
interrupt me. “…but nothing’s happened and I spent the whole time thinking of
you. We haven’t even held hands, he acts like he’s scared of me. I really,
really wanted to feel something for him because he is an incredibly sweet, good
guy, but I couldn’t. I was just comparing him to you the whole time and it
wasn’t fair.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He smiled at that, clearly
flattered, but it was the gospel truth. I didn’t think there had been more than
two minutes where I hadn’t been thinking of Van when I’d been with Masa. It was
awful because he deserved better. I would have to talk to him about where he
thought we were going, because it wasn’t fair to make him think we were going
to end up together. Maybe that wasn’t even what he wanted. I was leaving town
soon anyway, so even if we had worked out, I wouldn’t have been around long
enough to make a proper commitment anyway. Poor, sweet, lovely Masa. I didn’t
think there was a girl in the world that would be good enough for him in my
opinion. He was such a gentle, shy spirit. Actually, I’d pair him up with
Sofia, she’d bring him out of his shell, but it wasn’t an option, not least
because of the distance thing again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Van was staring at me as all these thoughts were buzzing
around my skull. I’d spent all weekend waiting for him to come home, and now
that he was here, I was having weird little ‘thought spasms’ where I was
linking a million things that I really didn’t want to be thinking about when
that beautiful man had his eyes on me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But what now? Did we carry on as we had done or did the
fact that we (and I hated this phrase) ‘liked’ each other now make everything
weird?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So, you gunna ask me out or what?” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m going to wait until you least expect it.” He said,
twisting his sleeve.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I took a cushion from the sofa
and hit him with it repeatedly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We talked through our options, but I told him I didn’t want things to
change between us for now. Obviously I’d love him to ask me out, but until he
stopped being a bastard and did it, things would stay as they had been with the
banter, the pillow fights and the domesticated bliss. He admitted that that was
one of his favourite things too. He’d never had a relationship that had been as
‘normal’ as ours was. It was far from normal, but I wasn’t going to tell him
that. He’d dated super models and pretty girls who had false nails that they
didn’t want to ruin. My nails were chewed to oblivion and since having the
false ones removed, were still covered in flecks of adhesive. I did very much
like being a proper blonde again though, that was one thing I might keep up
from the premiere prep that I’d gone through. I hadn’t had hair this colour
since I was tiny. I was still shocked by it <span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">when I looked in the mirror
every morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We spent the afternoon practicing for his auditions by
going through lines and looking over the notes I’d written for each one. He
said he found them invaluable, and it was probably something he should have
started doing years ago, but everyone wanted Van, he didn’t really even have to
try. It was a lot of fun actually, and I got to show him how utterly horrific
an actress I was. The dying swan act for one of the scenes was pretty
spectacular if I do say so myself, even if I will be bruised tomorrow from
throwing myself over the back of the sofa.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mid-afternoon there was a knock on the door. It was the
lovely guy from the desk with a huge, thick envelope for Van.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I also wanted to thank you again for those cupcakes. My
waistline doesn’t appreciate them, but my taste buds did.” He smiled warmly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m so glad you liked them. They’re vegan.” I said,
knowing that would shock him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Really? I’ve never had vegan food before.” He said with a
smile, excusing himself politely as he had to get back to the desk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I didn’t have the heart to
tell him that he frequently ate ‘vegan’, every time he ate a piece of fruit or
had a salad with certain dressings. Masa’s recipe was proving popular. I’d have
to make some for Sofia and Luke when we moved to New York. I was looking
forward to seeing somewhere new. It seemed the girl who used to be scared to
step outside her front door in the town she grew up in, had finally found her
feet and grown a pair of balls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Delivery Mr. Murphy. I’m guessing it’s scripts. I
obviously put the fear of God into your agents if they’re hand delivering on
weekends.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He grinned, kissed the tip of
my nose and opened the envelope. It was full to bursting. I had been right,
they were scripts of every kind; TV, movies, even ones for music videos - now
that would be cool. Van had already done three or four, but I wanted to see how
it was different from a ‘normal’ shoot. Had he ever had to do a dance routine?
Now that was something I would pay good money to see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We ate too many cupcakes, the wrappers all over the evil
coffee table and the floor around it, as we picked through the scripts. They were
all good scripts. The agents were obviously vetting them as before whenever
they’d sent them over, there’s be three or four and most of them would be
awful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Miss. MacManus, I believe I have you to thank for this.”
He said waving a handful of papers around. “I don’t think I’ve ever had this
many options at one time. I’m going to struggle to pick.” He didn’t look so
tired anymore, a new energy awaked within him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Leave them. I’ll go through it all whilst you’re at
auditions tomorrow. I won’t have anything to do otherwise and will spend the
time looking up how hated I am on the internet. At least now there’ll be a good
reason.” I winked at him in a cocky way, he just shook his head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I was thinking, in a couple of months, we should borrow
someone’s baby just to freak everyone out.” His grin was so utterly evil I had
to laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t think my mum could handle that. Wanna watch
Breaking Bad?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I would love to Miss. MacManus, but first please take the
cupcakes away or I will keep eating them until I vomit. Who’d have thought your
hippy vegan crap would taste so good.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I rolled my eyes and let out a
sigh of righteous indignation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You love my fake meat crap, you said it was just like
chicken.” The amount of times I’ve switched meat for fake meat on unsuspecting
people is not funny, and they can NEVER tell the difference!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I never did ask what it was made from…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mushroom protein. It’s not so appealing when you know that
is it, especially as I hate mushrooms. C’est la vie.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I put the cupcakes away as I
was starting to feel like I’d had about six too many, and wandered back to the
sofa. Van stood, scooped me up in his arms and plonked down on the seat with me
on his lap. He moved to lie down and I did the same, spooning in front of him.
His arm snaked around my waist and his breath was tickling the back of my neck.
Breaking Bad had never been so good. If I could die right now, I’d die so
euphorically happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-38696567767088797672012-10-27T01:41:00.002-07:002012-10-27T01:41:30.890-07:00Alone
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I woke up aching everywhere.
The sofa was ridiculously comfy to sit on, but not so much to sleep on. My
shoulder was wedged at a weird angle and I’d reopened the cut on my wrist by
pulling the gauze on in my sleep. At least it wasn’t bleeding everywhere. I got
up reluctantly, switching off the TV and seeking out some plasters to cover my
cut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I showered and all the usual junk, then sat and stared out
of the window for far too long. What the hell was I supposed to do with myself
today? I flipped open my laptop and reeled off an angry email to Van’s agent
who had been withholding scripts. I suspected it was because they also represented
an actor who tended to take similar roles to Van and they were showing him
preference. I then looked up other agents just in case this all fell through,
searched laws about breaking contracts in Hollywood and looked up similar cases
online. I then checked Van’s twitter feed. There was a lovely photo of him and
Luke; both were smiling, but it didn’t look convincing from Van. What had I
done to him? Or was I being completely self-absorbed to think I could affect
him so badly?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I reported two new hate groups on face book, not bothering
to update my status. All the people who had ‘friended’ me were haters anyway.
I’d gotten bored of baiting them now that I was sat in an empty flat missing
Van.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I spent the rest of the
morning looking up the movers and shakers in Hollywood, projects that were up
and coming for Van and just researching my job as much as I could. I didn’t
have much else to do as he had nothing until Monday, and that was two straight
days of auditions (7 in total) so I set about researching the directors of
those and writing notes of what they liked in an actor and basically cyber
stalking them. I had pages and pages of notes by the time I was done, but
didn’t know if it would be of any use to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>God I was bored. The problem with this being a temporary
accommodation was that Van hadn’t brought much with him; no books I could read
(I hadn’t brought any of mine as I didn’t want to carry them around in my case)
no </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">DVDs</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> apart from the Breaking Bad sets we’d bought, and I couldn’t watch them
without him. It was either stare at a wall, go out or watch videos of cute
kittens on the internet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When my phone rang I jumped clean out of my skin as the
flat had been so quiet all day. I rushed to answer it, but it wasn’t my
beloved, Masa or even my mum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Miss. MacManus? This is Stacey Oberon from the *Agency’s
name* Agency. I trust I find you well?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Oh snap. I was going to kick
this woman’s ass if she thought she was fobbing me off. It was easier over the
phone when you didn’t have to look the person in the eye. Plus she couldn’t
kick my ass if she didn’t know where I was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ms. Oberon, I’m glad you called. I assume this is
regarding the concerns I outlined in my email?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It is. I’ve called to apologise profusely for the delays
we have been experiencing of late. The person responsible has been let go due
to this and I can assure you it will not be happening again.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My problem is, Ms. Oberon, Mr. Murphy could have lost out
on several of those roles as he has not been receiving the scripts. I can only assume
this was done to secure the roles for another actor on your books, and as such,
Mr. Murphy would be well within his rights to find alternative representation
that is able to accommodate his needs and behave in a more professional
manner.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I could hear her stuttering on the other end of the line.
She hadn’t been expecting that. I had encountered two types of business
interactions since coming here. There was the ‘we’re bestest buddies forever’
bullshit where nothing ever got sorted out as everyone was too busy flattering
each other and never coming to a proper agreement. The other was the badass,
douche bag approach where screaming and threats were involved. I agreed with
neither, so was trying a different tack. I was pissed off and I made it clear,
but I saw no reason to shout or swear. I had threatened to leave their agency,
but only because it was something that would potentially happen. I don’t make
empty threats. I also liked to think that the over the top snobby British
accent I put on helped. It sounded quite impressive if I did say so myself.
There was no way she was going to tell me it was ‘cute’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ms. MacManus, I can assure you…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mr. Murphy and I are not impressed at how he has been
treated recently and are in talks with several other agencies who are offering
smaller commission rates and have better success stories than you are able to
provide.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It wasn’t true that we were in
talks, but I had found other companies that looked a lot better on paper and
did in fact take a smaller cut. They were newbie companies, but that just meant
they’d try a lot harder to impress. They might not have the same contacts, but
Van’s name was enough to get scripts, the agents didn’t actually do anything
anymore other than receive his mail.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She stuttered again, not sure
how to save this. He must bring them in a lot of money, and he was high
profile. To lose him would not only cause a loss of cash, but also a loss of
face. They couldn’t afford that, it would be all over Hollywood before a week
was out, and would lead to other stars on their books thinking of jumping ship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Would you both give us the chance to prove ourselves to
you? We are very proud to have Mr. Murphy under our representation and would
very much like to repair the damage done to the relationship.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I would be willing to put it to Mr. Murphy, but I can only
assume you will be working without commission for two months for a trial
period, and I want first refusal on ALL scripts that come through your doors
that may be suitable for Mr. Murphy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I…I can’t… I…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Then I am very sorry, but it is unlikely that Mr. Murphy
will wish to stay with you. Your agency has done serious long term damage to
his reputation by withholding scripts. It makes him look unprofessional for not
at least acknowledging that he has received them. It is utterly unacceptable
and…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok, ok Ms. MacManus, you have us over a barrel. Two months
without commission and first refusal.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Can I take you at your word Ms. Oberon? I would very much
like that in writing via e-mail and also to Mr. Murphy’s account.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Of course.” She said, sounding defeated, hanging up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Wow, that had actually worked! Research rocks! I was
feeling slightly proud of myself, and couldn’t wait to tell Van. I tried his
mobile, but it went straight to answer machine. I hate those things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hi Van, I’ve spoken to your agency and they’ve agreed to
work commission free for two months and you will get first refusal on ALL
scripts that suit you, before anyone else. They’re going to email these details
to you so we have proof if they try anything. I hope you’re ok. Give my love to
Sofia and Luke for me. The flat is seriously depressing when you’re not here.”
I said, regretting it instantly. Crap, crap, crap. “Uh…bye.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After banging my head on the table for five minutes, I felt
I had punished myself enough for telling Van I missed him. Urgh. I had been all
uber professional and kicked his agent’s ass, then I’d called him and undone
all my awesome work and been unprofessional to a fault. No wonder he’s run away
to another state. Hell, what an idiot!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I spent the rest of the day channel surfing. 400+ channels
and nothing was on. I watched a marathon of a reality show about someone who
made cakes. It just made me hungry. I still hadn’t heard from Van, Masa or mum
and was feeling pretty miserable. I decided I needed to get out of the house.
It was yet another glorious day, I should not be moping about indoors. I’m
British, I should be out getting red like a lobster. What was the saying? Only
mad dogs and English men go out in the midday sun? Well, it was mid-afternoon,
but whatever. Besides, I didn’t feel like I’d get murdered if I went out in
this neighbourhood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I threw on some flip-flops, my most well-loved jeans and a
strappy top, locking up behind me. I was greeted warmly by the man behind the
desk and stopped to make polite conversation with him. He must get incredibly
bored sat there all day, and he was the sweetest guy! Mid-fifties with salt and
pepper hair and eyes that creased at the edges when he smiled, which he did a lot.
I introduced myself properly as before it had just been ‘hellos’ and was mid-way
through answering one of his hundred questions about England, when my phone
rang. I excused myself, heart in my mouth. It dropped a little when I saw it
was Masa rather than Van, and I felt guilty for that. I wandered out into the
sun and answered it, wanting to feel a little of the excitement I had when I
thought it was my beloved calling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hey Masanobu, how are you?” I tried to inject the right
amount of enthusiasm into my voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m ok, are you free? I thought we could get a drink.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sounds like a plan.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We arranged where to meet and
I headed off, not caring that I probably should have changed. I was a lazy cow,
but if he didn’t like me for me, it wouldn’t matter what I wore. It was casual,
or so I told myself. There wasn’t anything left of the left knee of my jeans,
but that was apparently in fashion right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I walked inside the bar and grabbed a table, ordering with
a waiter that passed me. I got Masanobu the same thing he’d drunk last time,
and sat humming to myself, looking around at the movie posters that graced the
walls. Just about every bar in Hollywood was decorated with either sports
memorabilia or movie props. It was great, but I was yet to see anything from my
favourite movies, which was a little disappointing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was checking my phone, when I noticed a girl staring at
me from the corner of my eye. I looked up and smiled at her, but she just
carried on looking. The waiter brought the drinks and I sipped my diet coke
slowly, wondering what the hell the girl’s problem was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She began to edge closer, her
steps nervous, her eyes still fixed on me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Can I help you?” I asked when she reached me, trying to
hide my irritation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re Georgiana aren’t you?” She said, her voice shaking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded, unsure as to where
this was going. I just hoped she didn’t have a knife -I had enough wounds as it
was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I just wanted to say that I thought what happened to you
at the premiere was awful, and it wasn’t fair.” She said, looking at her feet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Her gaze moved up to my
stomach. I hoped she didn’t think I was actually pregnant. Van and I had taken
to the social networking sites to point out it had been a joke, but some people
chose to believe that we were hiding our secret relationship. I was painted as
a black widow, intending to move on to the next movie star when I was done with
Van.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Were you there hun?” I asked. She was wearing a t-shirt
from one of Van’s movies. “Love the t-shirt.” I said trying to smile, but
feeling really uncomfortable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No, I couldn’t make it. Is Van here?” She asked, looking
around desperately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sorry hun, he’s in New York at the moment. I’m just
meeting a friend.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Masanobu appeared then,
smiling brightly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh…I see.” She said, shuffling away. How weird.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Who was that?” Masa asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“One of Van’s fans. Try saying that ten times fast.” I
pushed his drink towards him and was about to ask about his day when he cut in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I saw you at the premiere, I didn’t realise you were so
famous.” He looked even more uneasy with me than he ever had before. This
wasn’t just shyness, it was intimidation. I wasn’t famous! I just wanted to be
a PA and be left alone! I had no desire to be in front of the cameras, and I
was thoroughly fed up with people thinking I was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Masa, I’m not famous at all, apart from for being the most
hated person in town. It was the first premiere I’ve ever been to.” I stopped
before I blurted out how rabid and insane his fans were, and how many death
threats I got a day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re Van Murphy’s PA, he’s huge.” He said with wide
eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah he is, which I didn’t realise when I took the job. I
had no idea who he was.” I said with a laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I had to buy all the newspapers you were in, I got a bit
excited.” He admitted with a self-depreciative smile, his eyes on the table. He
was so incredibly sweet, humble, grounded –just like My Van, but he didn’t have
that spark that Van did. He was too much of all those things to the point where
he almost seemed scared to be alive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So did I. I also asked my mum to buy all the ones in England.
No one’s interested in me Hon, it’s just that I was with Van.” I hadn’t noticed
any paps following me when I was alone thank god, so I took that to be true.
Small town, skinny, pale Brit girl- who’d want to see that in a magazine?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It said you’re pregnant.” He said sadly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I snorted, coughing up coke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It was a joke my sweet. Van likes winding up the paps.
Look at me, do I look six months pregnant?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I guess not.” He said looking relieved. “Are you and
Van…?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nope. But try telling his fans that! They want my blood!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We chatted about work, though
I wasn’t able to say much as I didn’t want to risk leaking anything about Van.
Who knows whose listening. Besides, I lived my life, I wanted to talk about
something else. I demanded Masa give me his recipes for the gorgeous cupcakes
he’d made. He blushed and wrote it on a napkin for me. He knew it by heart it
seemed. I was going to make a shit load of cupcakes for when Van came back. The
whole flat was going to be full to bursting with them. All with pink icing of
course and little sugar flowers. I needed to stop thinking about Van, it was
getting obsessive. I didn’t want to end up on face book making hate groups for
every woman he had a conversation with as that’s where it seemed to end up with
his fans. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I gave Masa my full attention
and banned myself from thinking about Van for the rest of the day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One of the great things about America is that there is
always SOMEWHERE open. I bought no end of cupcake ingredients from a local
health food store that was open practically 24/7. They were a Vegan’s idea of
heaven with every kind of fake meat and fake cheese you could think of. I spent
way too much in there, but I figured I don’t really spoil myself very often.
The most recent thing I bought of any value was the picture for Sofia. I should
text her, just to check Van’s ok. I should text her because I love her to
pieces, but also to check on Van. I could pretend it was purely in a
professional sense, but I knew she’d see through it. She had a read on me that
I’d never experienced with anyone else before, even people I’d known since
childhood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I got back to the flat, the caffeine from the coke
streaming through my veins. I wasn’t going to sleep. I set about making batch
after batch of cupcakes, leaving the TV on in the background so I didn’t feel
so lonely. It just so happened the cake program was having another marathon, so
I could compare mine to the ones on the TV. Theirs won obviously, but mine were
ok considering I’m not someone who bakes very often. I’d leave them to ice
tomorrow, it was gone midnight when I was done, and regardless of how little
sleep I thought I would get, I needed to try.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-31738859828486608352012-10-22T04:33:00.001-07:002012-10-22T04:33:25.970-07:00The Fallout
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van woke me by throwing random
objects at my bedroom door and yelling that breakfast was ready. He was up
before me! Now that was a first. I still hadn’t recovered from the exhaustion
of last night. Call me melodramatic, but it was so draining as I know I was
getting as much attention as Van was (though very little of it was good)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My phone was flashing
manically with missed calls and texts. I opened the first;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘Why wasn’t I the first to know you were pregnant? I’ve had
newspapers calling me up wanting my version of events. What do I tell them?’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Her voice messages were along
the same vein, though each successive one got more hysterical, her voice
getting higher and higher. I’d left my phone on silent as I didn’t want to get
woken up. Maybe I should have turned it off altogether. The other voice
messages were from magazines wanting interviews about the baby and wishing me
congratulations. Ooops.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I threw on a robe and wandered out to the smell of bagels
being cooked, and something else…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“YOU FOUND CRUMPETS!” I squealed, running over to hug him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Yes, I had more important
things to be worrying about now, but there is no love like the one between a
girl and crumpets. I felt like a crack whore being given a hit just from the
smell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yup. Sit down I’ll bring them over.” He was amused by me,
as usual.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We have a problem. No, we actually have several problems.
Have you checked your phone today?” My voice was growing higher the more I
thought about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He shook his head and yanked
the crumpets out of the toaster, popping them on a plate and putting a thin
layer of vegan marge over the top. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. What was I saying? Oh yes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well I have a lot of voice messages from my hysterical
mother and several magazines that want all the gossip about the twins.” My tone
peaked out of hysteria and disbelief. It had been funny yesterday, now…my mum
was never going to speak to me again!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He looked at me in confusion
and carried the plate over to the table, setting it before me before planting a
soft kiss on the top of my head. What the hell?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The twins, you know, Zebedee and Loony.” I snorted at the
names.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh.” He said, turning away to hide the laughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh indeed.” I said, sinking my teeth into a crumpet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Better get this over with. I dialed
mum’s number, chewing slowly. This was going to be very, very bad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana! I’ve been trying to get hold of you all day!
You are all over the news over here and in the papers.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Shit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mum, I know what it looks like, but it was all a big joke.
Come on, my stomach is flat in those pictures, and I haven’t been out here six
months so how could I be that far gone?” I took another bite and paused for
breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No baby?” She asked, sounding deflated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No mum, I’m sorry. Don’t you think you’d be the first to
know if there was? I don’t want kids. That hasn’t changed and I doubt it ever
will if it hasn’t by this point. Van is wonderful, but he’s my boss, not the
father of my fake babies.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I am slightly relieved as I had some concerns over the
name choices.” She always did get straight to the crux of the problem.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You think I’d let my kids be called Zebedee and Loony? If
anyone else calls, just say ‘no comment’, hell if you like take the money and
make something up, just don’t talk about Van ok as he has a career and it’s
kinda my job to ensure that doesn’t go down the toilet.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You sound different.” She said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How do you mean?” I asked, feeling cagey.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Happy. Healthy. Perky even. I’m not used to it is all,
it’s a relief actually, you don’t know how long your dad and I have worried
that we’d come home and find you swinging from the loft hatch.” Such
nonchalance for the subject matter!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Awesome. Thanks mum. I looked
over and Van to see if he could hear, but he was tidying up in the kitchen,
humming to himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Could you get copies of any mags or papers? They’d be
great to look back on when I have to go back to a crappy retail job.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She laughed slightly, still
sounding disappointed. I hadn’t even thought she would hear about it, let alone
this quickly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I saw you get attacked, are you ok?” Her tone softened a
little.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah. Van’s fan girls hate me with a passion. They think
I’m using him to advance my career or something. There are hate groups
dedicated to me on face book.” I said with a laugh. She didn’t return it. I
wasn’t sure she knew what FB was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Be careful Georgiana.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van won’t let anything happen to me. He’s very protective.
We were just winding the media up last night as the premiere was dragging. It
was amazing though, the film was great, you both need to go see it when it
comes over there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“George, the UK premiere is in a fortnight, I thought maybe
you’d want to come?” Van said from across the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“See, I’m his PA and I have no idea of what’s going on. He
should fire me.” I said with a laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It would be good to see you George. Would it be in London?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I assume so, yeah. I’ll let you know the details as soon
as I know them. Take care mum.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You too. Bye.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I hung up and sighed. I didn’t
really want to go back to England if I was honest. It was just rain, grey skies
and the old me, the one I thought would remain there forever and not follow me
here. She might jump on the plane home and get back with me. I finished the
crumpets and carried the plate over to the sink. Van was chewing on his
fingers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s wrong my love?” I said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was something I said to
everyone, regardless of whether I loved them or not. I hadn’t even thought
about it, but he looked surprised.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What? Van? What’s wrong?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nothing.” He mumbled. “Just tired I guess. Yesterday was
draining. We don’t have anything for a few days, so I thought I might go to New
York and see Luke.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s a great idea. I’m going to get in contact with your
agent and see why there’s such a waiting time on actually getting the scripts.
They’re really doing a sucky job at the moment. Anything you need me to do
while you’re gone?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He shook his head and left the
room, still chewing on his fingers. Had I said something wrong or done
something to offend him? I thought back on the conversation and couldn’t think
of anything, but then I had a habit of talking without thinking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I followed him to his room and knocked on the door. He
called me in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Talk to me, what’s wrong?” I asked as he began packing a
suitcase.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m fine, really. I’m just tired and have a lot on my
mind.” He avoided looking at me as he grabbed things from drawers and threw
them in the case.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Anything I can help with?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He shook his head. I took it
as a sign to leave, closing the door softly behind me. His mood had just
dropped out of nowhere. I must have said something, but what?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had expected him not to
leave until the next day, or at least the evening, but he was gone within the
hour. I’d been given a curt goodbye, a hurt look lingering in his eyes as he
closed the door behind him. What the hell was going on?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I felt like curling up in a
ball and crying. Everything had been going so incredibly well, I should have
known something would happen to ruin it, that it couldn’t last. I wandered
around the apartment morosely, not really knowing what to do with myself. I’d
gotten out of practice of being alone and I hated it now. Before it had been
necessary as I’d never found anyone I really cared enough about to be around
all the time. Former boyfriends had been kept close for fear of being alone,
and they had done the same to me, cheating, stealing and using me in a hundred
different ways.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I snuck into his room and stole his robe, putting it on
even though I was hot. It still smelt like him and the aftershave he used which
I could identify on any man that wore it. I’d even squealed at Masanobu that he
was wearing it. It had scared him a little by how excited I was by the fact,
but he was frequently freaked out by me. We’d been chatting via text, unable to
make schedules click again, but now that I had a few days off and no Van, I
really wanted to see Masa. It might have been a case of loneliness and Van
replacement therapy, but Masa was a good guy and I enjoyed his company (when he
actually spoke) it would be good to see someone other than Van for once. To be
a normal person in normal surroundings, or at least as normal as this place
got.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I rang Masa but he didn’t pick up, so I left a message
telling him I was free and happy to meet up at any time as I had no plans. It
sounded a little desperate, but he wasn’t the kind of man to judge me like
that, he’d hopefully just be happy that we’d finally get together. He was how I
used to be, scared to talk to people for fear of rejection or ridicule. As my
mother had said, I’d changed. I was a tiger mother now (without the kids)
ensuring that my ward (Van) ate, slept, didn’t smoke too much and had all his
veggies. Since we’d moved in together he’d become practically Vegan. We cooked
together, so it was just easier to use meat replacement, and he didn’t miss
meat he had admitted. I could put money on him binging on the stuff in New York
though. I rarely thought about meat anymore, but I did miss the ease of it,
just going in somewhere and picking anything off the menu, instead of having to
ask exactly what was in everything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I sat at the table and stared out of the window, feeling a
bit useless. I was used to planning my life around Van and had grown to hate my
free time, unless it involved spending it with him. We’d become inseparable,
going shopping, watching Breaking Bad obsessively together (he was now as
hooked as I was), we’d even baked together once after he’d gotten excited about
finding a recipe for Vegan muffins online. They sucked, but that wasn’t the
point. It was fun and a ’couple’ thing. I’d ended up with more of the batter in
my hair than in the bowl after Van had decided to start flicking it at me, but
the side of me that worried about that kind of thing didn’t seem to exist here.
I didn’t buy into the ‘stiff upper lip’, ‘uptight’ British stereotype, but it
was true in my case, or maybe it was the sun? The new surroundings? Having a
job I loved? I could tell myself whatever I wanted, but I knew it was down to
Van, and Sofia. I found myself wishing she lived closer, but she was in New
York, as was Van.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I sent him a text to let me know that he got there safely,
and set about cleaning. The flat was never messy, but I went OCD and moved all
the furniture, dusting, sweeping, mopping, cleaning, washing… I emptied Van’s
washing basket and dragged his and my clothes down to the laundry room, feeling
sad as we usually did this together. I had no one to chat to as the machine
went through its cycle, so settled for staring at a wall and brooding. Once the
stuff was in the drier, I began checking my phone every two minutes to see if
Van or Masa had messaged me. They hadn’t. I texted my mum and then began
neurotically tidying up the laundry room. I had to keep busy or I was going to
drive myself mad. I’d done it before. The Devil makes work for idle hands or
whatever the saying is. If I had too long to think, I would do an excellent job
of depressing the crap out of myself. I would dissect every conversation and
look for signs that I’d messed up, or that he had been acting the whole time
just to make working with me easier and he’d now had enough of it. Living
together maybe hadn’t been the best idea, but he’d suggested it. Did he think I
was getting too attached? Well duh, of course I was, he was wonderful. How
could I not?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I remembered what Sofia had said about his previous PA
using him. Did he think I was doing the same? I couldn’t think of any time
where I’d taken advantage to my knowledge. Everything he had done for me, he
had offered, I’d never asked. Or was this something else entirely and I was
reading too much into it? Was it simply that this place was getting to him
again? But that wouldn’t explain why he was in such a good mood when I first
got up and then it disappeared after I’d spoken to my mum. What had I said that
could have upset him? I was going around in circles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I took the clothes from the drier and lugged them back
upstairs. I loved this building, I loved the flat, I loved the view over the
skyline and the sun, I loved living with Van and I especially loved how close
we had gotten recently. I wasn’t ready to give all that up. If I had to, I’d
move back to that shit hole, that was fine, but I couldn’t give Van up. I
couldn’t comprehend my life without him now. He was the first thing I thought
of when I woke and the last thing at night, and it wasn’t just because I was
his PA, that didn’t even come into it. I loved him. It had been creeping up on
me for a while now, but I’d just thought it was a silly crush like the rabid
fan girls. I knew it wasn’t now. It was a lot stronger. Yesterday had been
proof in the way I’d wanted to defend him. I couldn’t stand the idea that
people were upsetting him. I had risked pissing off some serious players around
here just so they would leave him alone. I wasn’t scared when he was around, I
was this braver, stronger version of the girl who’d left England all those
weeks ago. I had fallen so hard in such a short amount of time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Moping wasn’t helping. I set his iPod to random and turned
the docking station on. I couldn’t help but smile at the song that came out of
it. ‘Rhythm of Love’ by Plain White Tees. It was a song I’d had in my head for
a whole week once and couldn’t stop singing. I’d driven him half mad with it,
humming, singing even though I didn’t know the words… Evidently he missed me
repeating it all the time as I didn’t think it had been on there before (I’d
stolen his iPod every time mine needed charging and he did the same with mine,
loving my cheesy 80’s tracks.) Well, it was now in my head for another week. I
wasn’t going to mope, I was going to jump around like a nutter, something I
hadn’t done in a while. I let my hair down (literally, I’d had it in a bun) and
started hopping around in a weird, stupid dance that people only do when they
don’t think they’re being watched. I hope to God he hasn’t got security cameras
in here. He’s probably sat in New York laughing his arse off and streaming it
to the internet. The fan girls would love that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After the fifteenth time on repeat, I couldn’t stand it
anymore and turned it off. The forced happiness hadn’t lasted. It was growing
dark outside now the sun had set, and he hadn’t replied to my message. I hoped
that was because he didn’t want to talk to me and not because he was hurt. I
was being paranoid. He was fine, he was just enjoying seeing Luke. I was
tempted to message Sofia, but I didn’t want to hassle her. She was a freaking
world famous super model after all and had better things to do than listen to
my angsty whining.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I fell asleep in
front of the TV, lounging on the couch with my phone in my hand, checking it
obsessively. Even my mum hadn’t replied. I was feeling a little unloved,
watching people scream abuse at each other on a talk show to cheer myself up.
(I slept with my sister’s friend’s cousin’s goat and then her brother’s
neighbour’s dog, or something equally confusing.) Talk shows in England were
pretty tame compared to that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-10692796542732281812012-10-18T01:00:00.000-07:002012-10-18T01:00:39.446-07:00The Premiere
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had begun counting the days
down until ‘P’ day, and each hour closer that it came, the more my anxiety
began to climb. Life was great apart from that, Van and I got on like a house
on fire, doing chores together, not having a single argument about anything and
getting a lot of prep done for things that weren’t happening for a while. I was
almost giddy with happiness most of the time, and he seemed content too. He was
eating properly, only smoking two or three cigs a day and was down to two
coffees. He was sleeping better, his eyes weren’t ringed anymore and in general
he looked bright eyed and bushy tailed. I’d like to think it was down to me
being such great company, but I knew it was because he was finally looking
after himself like a sane person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I had worried that living with him would make me see parts
of his character that I wouldn’t like I.E; leaving dirty underwear all over the
place, not cleaning up after himself, picking his nose and other gross ‘boy’
habits, but he had none that I could find. He was surprisingly domesticated,
but I supposed that was probably due to living with a twelve year old boy and
being responsible for raising him. Luke split his time between Sofia’s and
Van’s, but both were such incredibly wonderful people, he would end up being an
eco-warrior or curing cancer. This was the difference between older men and
ones my own age. Every guy I had dated had expected me to be their mother and I
wasn’t willing to do that 9apart from with Van). I don’t like nagging, I just
find it is sometimes a necessary evil, and I would get so worn down by fighting
over dishes, washing, cleaning the bathroom…I wasn’t going to be anyone’s
slave. Van being a ‘grown up’ (solely in the numerical sense) could and did
take care of himself, and the flat was always as tidy as it would be if I lived
alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We spent a whole morning washing and drying clothes,
talking about our childhood’s and all the other parts of getting to know
someone. I knew his favourite colour, his shoe size, his favourite foods, the toothpaste
he used, what he loved, what made him angry, where he refused to shop, his
political views, his stances on gay marriage (it was big in the news at the
moment, but neither of us could see what the fuss was about. England had civil
partnership, and quite rightly so. The fact that it was still being debated in
some states made us both angry. As long as it’s between two consenting adults,
it’s no one else’s business.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We’d buy a newspaper each day
and dissect the articles, we’d buy trashy magazines and see which celebrity Van
was apparently dating that week (usually he’d never even met the person!) and
the projects he was supposedly tied to (he’d never heard of half of it) and as
his PA, I liked to think I’d have some clue if he were working on them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Life was good. No, it was
better than good, it was damn near perfect. All I could possibly ask for would
be a dog and a garden where I could grow fruit and veg. Oh and for Van and I to
be married. Not asking for much really.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The day before the ‘event’ I contacted
the hair stylist and make-up artist that Sofia had recommended. They were
friendly and very sweet sounding on the phone, putting me at ease instantly. I
think Sofia must have warned them about my premiere virginity, but they were
old hands, even though both were in their mid-twenties. I was trying to enquire
about cost, when they told me it was covered. Sofia had done it as a gift to
me. I felt like crying. She already had done so much for me, how could I
possibly pay her back or show my appreciation?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van, could you give me Sofia’s address?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Uh oh, why?” He was watching a ‘fail’ video on the
internet, something that I had gotten him into. The flat was always full of the
sound of one of us laughing like drains as people fell off things or ‘failed’
epically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I want to do something to say thank you for all her help
with the dress and everything. Does she like flowers?” It was lame, but I
couldn’t think of anything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hay fever.” He said, biting back a snort. It just sounded
cute when he did it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Chocolates?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You want to buy a model chocolate?” His eyes left the
screen and met mine with an incredulous expression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good point. What then?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“She loves interesting art, the weirder the better. I’ll
show you who she’s currently into, and they’re not extortionate either.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was right, I could afford
to buy her something even though it was on the small side. Urgh! Why couldn’t I
just have enough to spoil the people I loved? We arranged for it to be sent to
her in New York, and I felt a tiny bit better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The day dawned. It would be a
whole day of prep apparently which I was dreading. They were literally taking
me apart and putting me back together again. All Van had to do was shower,
dress and arrive. I hated men, they had it so easy. I personally would have
just rocked up in my tatty jeans, but it was Van’s night and I didn’t want to
do anything that would make him look bad, and if I looked awful, it would
reflect badly on him. That was Hollywood -as I was learning to my horror. So
that meant me being buffed, waxed, plucked, painted, filed, brushed, styled and
god only knows what else. The Hollywood elite thought nothing of spending a
whole day at the salon getting ready, but I would need a lot more work than them
on account of me being a virgin and all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Van would be clearing out of the flat so the ladies could
work their magic and I’d be meeting him there so he would be all surprised when
I turned up looking like an actual female and not the freak in the bloody
shirts or knackered jeans. But first, to the salon! The hair stylist worked at
the one closest to me, so it made sense to go there. I was shaking when I
arrived, my legs wanting to run in the opposite direction, but Hayley had me
giggling within minutes. She was so incredibly sweet, it was like she had been
separated from this crazy superficial world. She’d worked with all kinds of
crazy famous people (not least Sofia) but she was so humble and normal (my
brand of normal) that we were chatting like old friends before an hour was out.
I even found it hard to hate her when she tore all my leg hair out with wax
strips and plucked unholy hell out of my brows. She made sure I still looked
like me, keeping my eyebrows close to their natural shape, just neatening them
up a little. It made me realise how sadistic women are. Why would you choose to
endure this on a weekly/monthly basis? It’s crazy! And bloody painful! I was
going to be exhausted before I even got to this thing and my skin would
probably be bright red and throbbing. I was going to look like a cooked lobster
with a facial injury. I no longer needed the butterfly stitches, but the cut
was obvious. I didn’t think foundation or make up would cover it and frankly I
didn’t want it to. Despite all the changes that were being made to me, I wanted
to point out to all the shallow, vain people that it’s ok to be flawed. I made
a point of asking </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Sariah</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> the make-up artist if she would let it be shown.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, I was aching all over, my skin stung, my fingers felt
weird from all the filing of my nails and the glue to stick the falsies on, I
was unable to move for long periods of time so things could be done to me and I
was starting to feel like I’d been taken out of my skin and put in someone
else’s. I was also scared. Scared that I’d want to be like this forever, and
also that Van would love how I looked when I was buffed to within an inch of my
life and would expect me to be like that forever. I loved him, but I didn’t
know if I could cope with having my brows plucked and all the rest for my
entire life (or however long he employed me.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once there was nothing left to do on my body, Hayley turned
to my hair. They were dying, bleaching, trimming and styling it, though it
wouldn’t be in the style I’d be wearing it tonight or it would be ruined before
I got there. I had foil sticking out of my head and a cape around me, looking
for all the world like some steam punk Oiran, itching all over but unable to
scratch as my hands were under the cloak and I was too scared to do anything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I think I fell asleep at some
point and woke to the foil being pulled out. It hurt like a bitch. I was
feeling disorientated and confused and took a while to remember where I was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">When it was all finally
finished, I couldn’t help but be impressed by my smooth legs (I usually shaved
and wasn’t good at it), my hair that was now a gorgeous golden blonde rather
than the dull shade I’d sported before, the highlights making it look sun
kissed. Had it been worth it? I didn’t have to look at me, so I would reserve judgment
until Van saw me. He might be an actor, but if I looked bloody awful, it would
be written across his face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sariah and Hayley met me at the flat as I had finished a
late lunch, texting Van to ensure he’d eaten (‘I had a coffee and a bagel, does
that count?’ he’d replied. I rang him and gave him an earful, fuelled by my
aching body and tiredness. I apologised profusely afterwards, but he found the
little outburst amusing) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Then the real work began. My
hair was first, and I had to say Sofia was bang on. I loved the ringlets they’d
put into it, with most of it gathered up on my head. That doesn’t sound pretty
when I say it, but it really was gorgeous. I looked like an adult, it was so
weird seeing myself in the mirror. The girl looked a bit like me, but was freaked
out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My make-up was next and again,
Sofia knew her stuff. Sariah stuck to colours that would complement my paleness
and the pink dress, accentuating my eyes and lips and giving me the faintest
blush that made me look surprisingly wide eyed and innocent. I looked like both
a child and a woman. It was crazy. They then helped me dress and got me down to
the car as I was shaking so hard I could barely walk. They would be driving me
there before heading home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can’t thank you both enough. Seriously, thank you so
very, very much.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It was a pleasure doll.” Hayley said with her heavy
Brooklyn accent and a wicked grin. “Here.” She handed me an expensive looking jewelry
bag. “Van asked us to give you these.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I opened the bag and took out
two plush velvet boxes. Inside were earrings, a necklace and bracelet, all
adorned with what looked like diamonds in patterns like feathers. He listened!
I’d told him how much I loved wings and feathers, and he’s remembered. I just
hoped these hadn’t cost too much. I could feel myself welling up at how good
everyone was being to me, like I was in a fairytale with a fairy godmother. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t you dare cry!” Sariah said from the front seat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I blinked back the tears and
swallowed several times, trying to compose myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well, here we are Cinderella.” Hayley said with a giggle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">How did she know what I’d been
thinking? Van was stood at the curb waiting to open the door for me. He knew
how scared I was and it was a relief to see him. The red carpet started where
the car had stopped and ran all the way into the biggest cinema I had seen in
my life. It was at least ten times the size of any I’d seen back home, and just
looking at it from this far away made me feel tiny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van opened the door and
extended a hand to me, helping me as I tried to balance on my heels. They
sensibly weren’t very high, but it was like putting them on a chimp, I was
worried about being that uncoordinated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Van looked…well, he always looked beautiful, stunning,
sexy, perfect, wonderful, amazing…but in that suit…holy hell. I could see why
the fan girls got so rabid over him as he really was something else. It was
also completely unfair as I knew it had probably taken him all of half an hour
to get read.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Miss. MacManus….Wow!” He said, his smile so wide I thought
his face might split. “You look amazing. Truly.” He kept hold of my hand and
linked his fingers through mine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I told myself it was because
he knew I couldn’t cope with the heels, but my heart was telling me it was more
than that. Stupid heart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He made me give him a twirl
which was difficult, but the dress flowed out beautifully like the petals of a
blossom. I felt…pretty, for the first time in my life I felt like I might not
stick out like a freak in this parade of beautiful creatures. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana, I can’t get over how beautiful you look.” His
eyes had taken on a slightly glazed and dreamy look, and my heart went
completely mental.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The excitement of his approval
displaced my terror briefly, but once Van stepped out of my line of sight and I
could see all the people…well, my knees locked, my palms began to sweat and I
had to concentrate on my breathing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I won’t let go of you all night, I promise.” He said,
putting an arm around my waist as we started to walk up the carpet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">This was completely insane. I
was just some nothing girl from a small town in England, the most glamorous
event I’d attended back home was the Leaver’s Ball at school, and that had
descended into a drunken mess after an hour. I’d managed to sprain my ankle
after being there ten minutes and spent the night with my foot on a chair,
trying not to cry from the agony. I couldn’t leave because I couldn’t walk, and
two people (who had ditched me the second we’d gotten here) were staying at my
house. Not the best night of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van, I can’t thank you enough for the beautiful jewelry,
but you’re taking it all back!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He stopped walking and looked
at me, really looked. He took my face between his hands and gently kissed the
line of my cut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They could have hacked you to ribbons and you’d still be
the most beautiful girl here.” He said, taking my hand again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Thank goodness for the twenty
layers of makeup as I was blushing like I never had before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There were crowds on both sides of the carpet, kept back by
security and metal gate things. Van’s name was being screamed from both sides.
On the right were the paps and TV stations, on the left, the public. Van went
straight to the left, ignoring the interviewers yelling his name over and over.
He gave his fans a one handed, one fingered salute and they all returned it,
laughing hysterically. Despite the fact that there were other successful actors
in this movie, there wasn’t one person with a banner saying any of their names.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I looked over the sea of happy faces and the many, huge,
coloured card banners. Most of them were; ‘We love you Van’, or ‘Van, Van, he’s
our man!’ or even slightly cringe-y ‘I want to have your babies Van’. Nice. He
took it all in stride and chatted with everyone he passed. The girls were scrambling
to get closer to him, pushing and shoving each other in desperation. Would that
be me if I didn’t have his hand in mine? I doubted it, I wasn’t the kind of
person to fight through a crowd, but if I had heard of him before I came here,
my internet browsing history would probably be full of his fan-sites where I
had been cyber stalking him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I noticed that whilst the
faces were smiling joyously when looking at Van, they either fell, or turned
nasty when they saw me. Holding his hand. It should have been them in their
opinion as they loved him far more than I ever could. I noticed a couple of
people pointing it out, whispering behind hands and narrowing eyes at me. I
smiled to them, hoping they might see that I really wasn’t a bad person. I
wasn’t a good one, but I wasn’t bad either. I hadn’t done anything to garner
this loathing and muck spreading. I loved him as much as they did. Surely if
that was the only reason they hated me, they should be tearing chunks out of
each other for the same thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I released his hand slowly so he could be in photos, sign
autographs and chat to people, but his eyes always returned to me, smiling in a
dappy way when he saw I was looking at him too. Was he drunk? That was the only
explanation I could come up with as he’d never looked at me like that before,
or was it that he was starting to see me as a female now that I had been stuck
in a pretty dress and made up?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">A couple of women near the
front of the crowd were trying to get my attention. I’d been standing out of
arm’s reach just in case they felt like scratching my eyes out, but they were
smiling warmly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Miss. MacManus?” One of them called, a middle aged woman
in a t-shirt with Van’s face on it. She had his name across her forehead in
face paint.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hi.” I said, feeling like an idiot. “Thank you for coming
out to support Van.” My voice shook in the most ridiculous way so that I sounded
like a goat given words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The woman looked over and Van to check he wasn’t listening,
before grabbing my arm and pulling me to her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We all want you to fucking go and die.” She said, digging
his nails into my arm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I couldn’t fight her off due
to the press of bodies in front of me. I couldn’t flip around and pin her arm
to her back as everyone was so closely packed. Another hand grabbed my arm, and
another, all pulling me to them and sinking talons into my flesh. I didn’t know
what to do, looking around desperately for security. One of the tuxedoed guards
rushed over and saved me, his eyes wide in horror at the marks they’d left on
my arm. He called over his colleagues over his walkie-talkie and they ejected
the women from the crowd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Blood was trickling down my
arm. How? Could nails break skin so easily?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“One of them had a ring on the tip of her finger that had a
sharp point on it.” One of the guards said, taking me arm and leading me to the
entrance of the theatre.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Van appeared of my side looking haunted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What happened?” He asked breathlessly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m ok Van, don’t worry.” I said, trying to be breezy, but
my shaking hands gave me away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The guard explained to him
what had happened and he looked at the crowd in disgust. He pulled me into an
embrace, being careful of my wrist, his arms wrapped around my waist made me
feel safe and loved even. I couldn’t feel the pain from the cuts when he did
that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll come in with you.” He said, taking my hand in his.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t be silly. As your PA, I demand you go mingle. I’ll
get this cleaned up and come back out.” I tried to smile, but it felt false. It
was a shame I wasn’t an actor sometimes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He pressed a hand gently to my
cheek and asked the security guards to look after me. They both smiled at him,
then at me. They clearly thought it was cute. I did too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I held my arm as far from my
dress as I could, the guards taking my elbows gently and helping me inside. Had
they known how much I was struggling with these bastard heels?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He really cares about you.” The guy who had saved me said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I blushed and chewed on my
lip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you both so much, I didn’t know what to do when she
grabbed me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s our job. We should have been there quicker.” The
other one said, sounding annoyed with himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well, you’re my heroes.” I said smiling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was lucky the carpet was
red from the droplets I was leaving on it, the material drank them up until it
blended in, a different hue, but barely noticeable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">They patched me up quickly,
cleaning the cuts and covering them with gauze. They were so gentle. It was
completely at odds with the tall, well build men that had performed the task.
They helped me back to Van’s side and he turned his full attention to me. I
thanked the security guards again and looked to Van. His eyes were full of
concern, and his hand quickly found mine. It was then I realised my bracelet
was gone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Shit.” I hissed. “Van, they took that beautiful bracelet
you gave me.” My throat was tightening again. Crying would be the worst thing
to do, but I couldn’t believe those bitches not only cut me, embarrassed me,
but also stole from me. Some people had no morals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’ll be on e-bay tomorrow then.” He said with a
grimace. “There’s nothing that can be done about it now unfortunately. I’ll get
you another one.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t want another one, I feel bad enough that you
bought me that one!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well now the set isn’t complete, I can’t return it. Looks
like you’ll be keeping them. Sucks to be you.” He said with a laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Go on, shoo, mingle, work the crowd.” I said. “Oh by the
way, have you eaten?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He stuck his tongue out at me
and squeezed my hand, an eyebrow raised in something of a challenge. I
‘saluted’ him with both hands, sticking my tongue out too. The crowd copied me,
aiming it at Van. Some of them were nice it seemed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Just try and kick my ass with all these witnesses.” He
thought he was safe! He clearly had no idea of how much damage I could do with
these heels.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t think I won’t bucko, your ass is mine when we get
out of here.” I whispered in his ear, smiling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kinky.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He began chatting to fans
again, but was loathe to let go of my hand. When he did, it was so briefly I
barely noticed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Three girls that were half way
down the line turned to me once they’d spoken to Van.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We’re so sorry those hateful bitches attacked you. We’re
not all like that.” The girl was about my age, slightly shy like me. She was
slim and short, with hair of the shade mine had been before it was dyed. I
wanted to hug her for showing me some kindness after those hateful hags had
attacked me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you.” I said, not knowing what else to say, and
worried that she would turn into a psycho and tear my arm from its socket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Some of his fans love you for getting him to cut down on
the cigs. We’ve been nagging him for years.” She said with a laugh. Yay! I had
the fan base helping me in my crusade! Awesome! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Keep at it my lovely, maybe it’ll happen once day.” I
said, keeping out of arms reach, but trying to be friendly. She was lovely!
Part of me felt that she deserved to be in my position far more than I did,
she’d probably been dedicated to Van for years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They stole your bracelet didn’t they?” She said, looking
at my wrist.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded, not wanting to speak
for fear of welling up again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Here.” She said, unfastening her silver charm bracelet and
handing it to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That is so sweet, but I couldn’t possibly take it.” I was
blushing. I was awful at accepting gifts, and she clearly had been meticulously
collecting the charms for a while. I felt awful, but she wouldn’t accept a no.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Please. I would love to see it in a magazine. You can give
it back to me at his next premiere.” She said with a grin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That is incredibly sweet of you. What’s your name?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Leila.” She said, fastening it around my unwounded wrist
for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you so much Leila, it’s beautiful.” I loved how it
tinkled whenever I moved my hand. I examined the charms and found an apple, a
horseshoe, hearts and any other number of mini silver items. It was gorgeous. I
felt awful for taking it, but I didn’t know how to refuse without being rude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But only until the next premiere.” I said smiling warmly
at her. “Did you get to speak to Van?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No, I got pushed out of the way.” She said sadly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hold on, I can fix that.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I tugged Van’s hand gently,
and when he was finished talking to one of the fans he turned to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is Leila, she just leant me this beautiful bracelet.”
I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He couldn’t have been sweeter
to her, posing for photos, chatting, signing things and even speaking to her
friend on the phone who couldn’t make it. Her expression said it all, she was
as giddy over him as I was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Message me on twitter and we’ll arrange for me to give
this back.” I said, giving her a hug. It seemed like the right thing to do, and
no one tried to drag me behind the gating and murder me. Small mercies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once we’d reached the end of the line of fans, Van had to
go over to the paps waiting impatiently on the other side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“God I hate this.” He said through gritted teeth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’ll be over before you know it.” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He still had hold of my hand
and made no move to let go. He lead me over to the baying mob and stopped to
talk to the first interviewer, a platinum blonde with huge…eyes. And boobs.
Huge, fake, plastic boobs that were hard to look away from -and I’m a girl. Van
was perfect though, he met her eyes and ignored ‘the girls’, being his usual
charismatic self.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She turned to me and stuck the
mike in my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How are you enjoying the premiere George?” She said, her
expression making it evident that she didn’t give a shit about anything I had
to say, she wanted to trip me up, but would lead me into a false sense of
security with simple questions at first.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana.” Van corrected.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knew I hated it when people I didn’t know
shortened my name. I found it rude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana…you got in some trouble earlier.” Oh she was
thrilled about that! I could see her eyes glowing as she relived it in her
head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m not the most popular girl here tonight.” I said,
looking at her and not the huge camera that was pointed at me. I could hear the
tremor in my voice, and felt Van’s arm snake around my side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You two seem pretty close.” She said, looking between us.
She did not approve. It was amazing what you could read from a look; I wasn’t
good enough, I was plain, dull, unworthy and should pack my bags and go back to
England.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We drove to Vegas last night and got married.” Van said in
a serious voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And I’m six months pregnant with his child.” I added. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I hadn’t known him six months,
but what the hell! Might as well start some rumours that weren’t as offensive
as ‘I used to be a man.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Really?!?” She said in shock. “Your stomach is so flat!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van placed a hand over my
tummy and rubbed it in a paternal way, his eyes on my stomach. He’d be talking
to it next. I wondered what he’d call out fake baby. I was trying to think of
something completely mental just to see how people reacted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The baby’s tucked up under her ribs apparently.” He said
grinning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I bit back a laugh. Baiting
the media was fun! What other ridiculous things could we make up? How was she
believing this! I knew it would come back and bite me in the arse, but for now
I’d enjoy it, it was a game we played together, trying to outdo each other with
ridiculous things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well, congratulations! That’s…wow.” She said in badly
suppressed surprise. Of course no man would impregnate a skinny little freak
like me right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We moved on to the next person and were amazed that the
news of my pregnancy had already spread right to the other end of the line,
people were yelling out congratulations so that we might move down to them
quicker. Uh oh. I just hoped my mum didn’t see this or I would have some
serious explaining to do, not least because I told her I didn’t want kids. It
was getting to the point where she was going to start bribing me soon as she
was so desperate for a grandchild.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So you’re expecting? How exciting!” Another blonde,
another pair of ridiculous boobs. Another mike shoved in my face with such
speed I was scared she was going to knock a couple of my teeth out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes, we’re very pleased.” Van said, his hand still on my
stomach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you know the sex?” She screeched in a fake, over perky
tone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Twins, one of each.” I said. I couldn’t look at Van or I’d
be giggling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van bit his lip to stop
himself laughing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Any names planned?” She asked, looking at me with
revulsion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We’ve been arguing over that actually. Mac wants something
traditional, but I was thinking something more original. I like Zebedee for a
boy and Loopy for a girl.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had to turn away and pretend
to cough. How was he keeping a straight face? The interviewer’s expression
dropped, before she remembered herself and gushed at how cute they were. What
the fuck? They weren’t cute, they were mental! Giving those names to a kid was
bordering upon child abuse. No fake child of mine was being called Loopy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We moved on to the next, and the next and the next. It was
exhausting, but also hilarious. Not being an actress myself, I found it harder
to keep from laughing, but generally hid it behind a cough. Van was having a
field day, changing the names for more insane ones the further down the line we
got.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We’re going to get in so much trouble.” I whispered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Trust me, this is no weirder than some of the things I’ve
read about myself. I’ve been abducted by aliens, part of a drug cartel and a
porn star. It’s insane the things people come up with.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well I used to be a man.” I said laughing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m open-minded.” He said nudging me gently with his
elbow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">By this point, the fans had
heard about our fake baby, and were screaming hysterically to get Van’s
attention. We’d gotten here really early (to the point where the other stars
still weren’t due for another half an hour) so he walked back over to chat to
them all again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s a huge joke, she’s not six months pregnant. We
haven’t known each other for six months.” He said laughing at the mix of
‘congratulations’ and ‘I’d have had your baby if you’d asked’ being yelled from
the sea of people. They all gave him the one fingered salute which he returned
with gusto. Usually by now he’d be on his tenth cigarette, but he hadn’t lit up
once. He didn’t smell of smoke, so I guessed he hadn’t snuck any before I’d
arrived either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The cameras were still snapping at us madly, and I realised
I would possibly turn up in a magazine or two tomorrow. I would have to send a
few to my parents, they would be so shocked. I couldn’t imagine how it felt to
walk into a corner shop and be greeted by your own face on the front page of
every mag on every shelf. Hopefully they’d Photoshop me out of them. It also
meant more fodder for my haters to edit for their face book groups. They must
be on their fourth or fifth page by now as they kept being removed. Heh heh
heh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The cuts on my wrist were beginning to itch, but I tried to
ignore it. Thinking of those itching made the ones on my back join in, along
with the one on my cheek. I was feeling vain. Not wanting to scratch my cheek
and ruin my makeup. Oh god, I was going Hollywood! The move to New York could not
come soon enough!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After Van had been chatting to the fans for a while, more
cars began to pull up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You might want to go inside - just about all my co-stars
are complete ass holes.” He whispered in my ear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“90% of this city is, I need to get used to it for next
year’s pilot season.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He grinned so widely that his
eyes almost disappeared. He clutched my hand a little tighter when one of the
occupants of the cars approached. He was…well, he looked like an advert for
steroid abuse. His t-shirt had had the sleeves ripped off to show off his
muscles, though I was tempted to ask him to cover them up as the veins pulsing
over them were making me feel ill. He strode over to Van like he thought he was
God, ignoring the fans (not that many of them were interested)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van.” He said in a snippy tone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He turned to me and extended a
hand. I gave him mine, but was suddenly terrified he might crush it. He pulled
it to his mouth and kissed the back of it. I wanted to wipe it on my dress, but
instead smiled sweetly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This your PA? She’s hot.” He said, his eyes tracing my
legs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I shuddered, wanting to go
shower as he made me feel dirty. Van’s hand tightened on mine, but he would be
the diplomat today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana, this is Bruce.” He said, his tone and blunt as
steroid man’s.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m sure you know who I am.” He said with a wink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I didn’t, I had absolutely no
clue whatsoever. I could see Van bristling with every word this pumped up creep
said, so thought I would have a little fun.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No, I’m afraid not.” I made my eyes wide and twirled a
strand of hair around my finger, blinking more than I needed to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You must have, I was in the ‘Dark’ series.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I shook my head and smiled
vacantly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Bruce, Bruce Norris…” He looked devastated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Afraid not. It doesn’t ring any bells.” I aimed for vapid
and dumb.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He narrowed his eyes and
stalked away, striding straight over the paps, who were only mildly interested
in him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He’s not the worst one.” Van said with a sigh as a
stunning ash blonde sashayed over to him, ignoring me completely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van!” She hugged him and kissed both of his cheeks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I gritted my teeth, noticing
how she was trying to get between Van and I, even though he had his fingers
laced through mine. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s so good to see you.” She purred, taking his free hand
and pressing it between both of hers. He didn’t look happy. “So how have you
been? I’ve missed you.” She made big eyes at him, constantly edging closer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She was another Barbie doll
with her tiny waist and perfect hair, but her boobs were of the joke sized
variety. How could people take these women seriously? It didn’t matter if they
had a degree in quantum physics, people would only see a walking pair of boobs.
I was a girl and that’s all I was seeing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He was smiling politely, but I could tell he was looking
for an excuse to leave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve decided to forgive you for not coming to lunch with
me. I know how busy you are and all. Maybe we could spend some time together at
the after party?” Her fingers were on her throat, her cleavage, her hips. I
wanted to vomit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I won’t be staying for it, but thank you anyway. Let me
introduce Georgiana to you.” He said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Her eyes started at my shoes
and worked their way up and she clearly didn’t like what she saw. Her
expression made me think she could smell something bad in the way she wrinkled
her nose and slit her eyes at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Who are you wearing?” She asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My dress? Oh it’s from a small boutique just off the
strip.” I told her the name, but she sneered at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I was sent this Versace dress yesterday. It was designed
especially for me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How lovely.” I said, looking to Van for help. He shook his
head, he was as lost as I was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So who are you to Van?” She asked, stepping closer to me
in a way that was meant to intimidate. In her six inch heels she towered over
me, her false nails almost twice as long as mine. I had an image of her using
them to gouge my eyes out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m his PA.” I said quietly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh is that all?” She said looking relieved. “I thought
he’d gotten himself a girlfriend without telling me. We’re incredibly close you
know.” She placed a hand on his chest and he unconsciously stepped back. They
weren’t close, he cleared hated her. “All those weeks working together, you
learn things about each other and share certain experiences.” She purred.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She may as well have marked her
territory by peeing on him, she was so blatant about it. I wasn’t going to play
her game, I had his hand in mine after all, which she hadn’t failed to notice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh, he hasn‘t mentioned you. Maybe he doesn‘t want to make
the other girls jealous.” I said with a gentle smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She stood open mouthed, unsure
of how to react.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van, have you been neglecting your good friend? That’s
unworthy of you. Maybe we could all get lunch together. I’d love to know you
better Miss….?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Her whole face almost
collapsed under the weight of her horror. I didn’t know who she was! How could
that possibly be? I was getting depressingly good at being a bitch whilst
seeming polite. I didn’t like it, but if it made her leave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Violet DeBois.” She said in an icy tone. “The star of the
‘Holly’ trilogy and beloved of Broadway.” She was torn between horror and
confusion. How could someone not have heard of her?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok.” I said, saying more with those two letters than a
hundred sentences could have. I hated who I was beginning to turn into, I just
hoped it was solely in defense of Van, but part of it was rooted in jealousy.
He might hate her, but she was gorgeous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So when would you like to get lunch?” I asked sweetly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She pretended someone was
calling her and rushed over to the line of media hounds, trotting like a
dressage horse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Who are you and what have you done with my innocent little
George?” Van whispered in my ear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Got rid of them didn’t it? And I genuinely have no clue
who either of those people are.” I smiled sweetly at him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not an actress my ass.” He laughed as we headed into the
cinema.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The movie itself was an action
adventure, and Van was…amazing didn’t cut it. I was completely in love. His
character was like a new Indiana Jones type, without the ‘sticking his tongue
down the throat of every female going’ he was intelligent, witty and kick ass
with hand to hand combat. I was on my edge of the seat the whole time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Violet played the generic ‘eye candy’ role and was a
complete bitch throughout the film - just like in real life! Not much acting
involved I think. Bruce was the meathead henchman of the bad guy, again, not
much acting involved. The audience loved it, I loved it, even the critics were
buzzing as they left. Van thanked the organisers, director and crew before we
snuck off. He had no intention of going to the after party, and if we were
spotted, he might be obliged too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I should just tell them that being six months pregnant, I
have to take you home.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I rolled my eyes and him,
loving that I came in an expensive, sleek, black (Bentley? Benz? I had no idea)
thing and left in his truck. Very cool. The second I was inside I took off the
heels and let out a relieved sigh. It felt amazing! It was almost worth wearing
the damned things for all that time just for the feeling when I took them off.
Van was loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top of his shirt. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It had been a good night, not
nearly as scary as I had thought and I’d made it through without any of his co-stars
punching me out, or the media asking me why I was there as I had no right to
be. The cuts on my wrist stung a little, and I realised since coming here I was
gaining quite the collection, but it wasn’t so bad. A fly in the ointment, but
no big deal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It took me ages to get the
bastard make up off when we got back, but once I had, I was snoring on the sofa
within minutes. I woke the next morning in my bed, so could only assume Van had
carried me in…and undressed me! The dress was carefully hung up on the front of
the wardrobe, but thankfully I was still in my underwear. Lucky it had matched
as usually I couldn’t care less about that kind of thing!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-68087430733394412362012-10-16T01:54:00.002-07:002012-10-16T01:54:59.632-07:00Heaven and Hell
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was right, moving my stuff
was entirely too easy and made a mockery of his awesome truck. It was literally
what was in my suitcase, the bag I used for work and my fridge’s contents. If I
died tomorrow, this is all I would have to show for it. On the plus side, there
wouldn’t be any freaky stories about how I owned a life size my little pony or
a 72 piece vibrator set. I didn’t even own a one piece vibrator set.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I covered the dress with bin bags so he wouldn’t be able to
see it and placed it in my case with the love and care of a holy relic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Going down to tell the asshole
at the desk I was leaving was way too much fun. The benefits of living in a
shit hole that didn’t take card details, wanted cash and didn’t do contracts.
There wasn’t even a deposit to worry about. Awesome.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>On the drive to Van’s I was thinking about all the benefits
of living with him; rides to our appointments, not having to make sure he was
up, internet access, and well…Van. I would be living with Van. I would be
actually living with Van. Holy crap, life just got better and better (minus the
attempted mugging)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van, I’m going to have a huge mark on my face for the
premiere.” I said, prodding the stitches with my finger in irritation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t mess with it. If you like, I’ll put stitches on my
face and we’ll pretend we’re making a fashion statement.” I hoped he was
joking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So come on, tell me everything I need to know about
attending a premiere.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He thought for a moment, his
eyes on the road. He began chewing on his fingers again. Uh oh, this usually
meant bad news.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Basically, you just stand there and look pretty as I wow
the crowds, smooze with the red carpet interviewers and look utterly gorgeous.”
He winked at me in the rear view mirror. “There’ll probably be an after party,
but I generally don’t stay for those. They’re messy, dangerous and are usually
crawling with paps waiting to get photos of you vomiting in the gutter.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So I just stand there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yup.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And if they ask me questions like that evil bitch did?”
I’m sitting on my hands to stop myself picking at the stitches. It’s so
addictive, but I don’t really want to make this any worse. I don’t think scars
are in fashion right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You give them my favourite hand gesture.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I hope you’re kidding. I’m sure as your PA I should be
discouraging it or something, but it is slightly hilarious watching people’s
faces when you do it. I also love how all your fans greet you with it, it’s a
whole sea of middle fingers. Could there be anything more beautiful?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mac, my favourite word is fuck, I love giving the finger,
I smoke where I’m not supposed to, drink too much, make no secret of my hatred
of interviews…I’m the brat as far as everyone’s concerned and I couldn’t give a
flying fuck. If you want to piss off every person in that place, go for it,
just draw the line at directors I might want to work with in the future.” He
shot me the cutest lop sided grin and pushed his hair out of his face. His
accent peaked on hard consonants and made my insides feel like squirming eels.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We pulled up at his, taking only one trip to get my things
upstairs. Unpacking took all of two minutes, the only thing I cared about was
my dress getting wrinkled. Van had obviously already decided I was moving in
before he mentioned it to me as he’d made the room more girl friendly, I.e.
taken down the posters of cars that had been up before. All of Luke’s things
were packed away (though there hadn’t been much.) It was a gorgeous room with a
window that had a view over the skyline, the sun setting in a thousand shades
of orange and gold. I could hear myself sighing contently. This was bliss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Van appeared in the doorway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Let me show you where you can stick your bathroom junk. I
know girls have a million bottles.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I held up my shampoo,
conditioner and shower gel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s it? Wow. Don’t ever live with Sofia, she had three
medicine cabinets full of lotions and potions. They quite honestly scared me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van, I can’t thank you enough for this…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He held up a hand to stop me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s purely selfish. I hate living alone, I miss Luke and
it’ll be nice to have company. Plus it’ll make both our lives easier. I won’t
need an alarm clock because you’re uber organised.” He grinned, showing all his
perfect white teeth. How did a smoker have such amazing teeth? “Hungry? I
thought I’d cook, y’know, welcome you to the apartment…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You have food?” I said in mock horror, pulling a Macaulay-Culkin-in-Home-Alone
expression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He rolled his eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I even bought some of that fake meat, mushroom protein crap.
It looks vile, but apparently tastes like chicken.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That sounds great. Thank you. Let me help though.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nope. You relax, check your email or something. What’re
you going to do now that you have internet access? How will you cope with the
excitement?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll be watching cute videos of kittens and puppies all
day long.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He smiled and left to go start
on dinner. He thought I was joking!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I carried my laptop through to the main room, liking that
there was someone else here. I could watch him attacking vegetables with a
cleaver like he was in the middle of the zombie apocalypse and not have him
realise that’s what I was doing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I made my first port of call
the hate group on Facebook. It had thankfully been removed, but another had
been set up in its place, cleverly called ‘FUKIN TRY N GET THIS TAKEN OFF
BITCH! WE STILL H8 GEORGIANA MACMANUS!’ And the best part? Apparently I used to
be a man. They’re basing this on the fact that I have a huge Adam’s apple. Do
I? I can’t say I’d ever taken the time to focus on that part of my body as I
was usually fixated on how awful my skin was. Nope, I wasn’t going down that
road. I wasn’t going to let a group of silly little girls give me even more
things to worry about. I was neurotic enough without adding to it. I reported
the group again and headed for Twitter. I was tagged in no end of posts telling
me I was fugly, stupid, fat (?!?), anorexic (make up your minds people) gay,
and one person was even telling everyone I was dead. Impressive that I can
check this from beyond the grave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I clicked on my Beloved’s profile and felt myself blushing
at some of the things he’d written in defense of me;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘@myusername is probably the sweetest, most beautiful woman
I’ve ever met, please stop insulting her as I find it really hurtful.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘Look people, can we stop now. @myusername is my close
friend and I won’t have people insulting her.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘Please don’t call yourself a ‘fan’ if you’re insulting one
of the most important people in my life @myusername.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘Spent the day with my favourite girl @myusername. She made
me laugh so hard coke came out of my nose.’ I smiled remembering that day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘@myusername is making sure I eat my vegetables. Three
square meals a day, and coffee doesn’t count? ;p’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I felt better after reading those. I was his favourite
girl? I wasn’t going to start getting excited, he was doing it to protect me
and piss off the haters no doubt. But my heart was doing little back flips of
happiness.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are they leaving you alone yet?” Van called, his arms
covered up to the elbow with pieces of carrot peel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nope. I have several face book groups dedicated to me. I
used to be a man according to them.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Awesome. I always wanted to meet a chick with a dick.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Classy Van.” I said snorting back a laugh. “I just don’t
understand why they’re wasting their time! They could be doing something
productive or fun, but instead they’re spamming the crap out of me.” I clicked
onto an actor database. This was what I’d secretly wanted the internet for, to
stalk Van! Mwahaahahhahahahaaaa!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In another window, I did a search for pictures of him and
left it running whilst I looked at his career. Holy crap he’d been in a lot of
films, and I’d actually seen a couple of them! Surely I’d remember him wouldn’t
I? There were a lot of independent films listed, along with ones that hadn’t
been released in England, which would explain why I’d never really known about
him (that and me living under a rock.) I scribbled a quick list, intending to
get hold of every single one. Heh heh heh. God bless the internet. I closed
that page and looked at the photos. Holy fuck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Jesus Van, you look hot in a dress.” I said, looking over
at him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His eyes widened in panic and
he rushed over to the computer, shutting the laptop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Banned! No more! You can help me chop veg if you’re going
to misbehave.” He looked utterly horrified.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s ok, all I have to do is this…” I closed my eyes and
smiled dreamily. “Oh yeah Van, work it.” I was laughing, trying not to snort as
I did that WAAAAAAY too often and it was not remotely sexy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re evil.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well you have great legs. Miaow.” I said winking at him<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I hate you. You can stir this.” He handed me a wooden
spoon and steered me over to the hob, his hands on my hips guiding me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And he can cook. The stir fry
was so good! I almost felt indecent eating it in front of him because I was
enjoying it way too much. We were getting like an old married couple,
bantering, teasing and chucking things at each other. It never escalated to a
full food fight, but it was close. We did the washing up together and slobbed
out on the couch afterwards, chatting about trashy TV (Jerry Springer is
awesome) and what our favourite shows were.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So what do you watch?” I asked, stretching and yawning.
Sleeping was hard when you can’t lie on your back due to puncture wounds. They
weren’t agonising or anything like that, but when I was asleep and rolled over,
they stung enough to wake me up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t watch much TV to be honest.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Have you seen Breaking Bad?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He shook his head. Uh oh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What? Please tell me you’re joking. That show is the best
thing on TV! Tomorrow we’re going to find a box set and watch them all in a
giant marathon!” I said, my voice getting higher and higher as I got more
excited. The hand clapping and squealing started then. I felt like saying we
could paint each other’s nails and put on face packs, but I thought it would
scare him, plus I’d never done that myself. Girlie sleepovers were alien
territory for me. Maybe I had missed out on a whole chunk of my life through
being a social pariah. Meh, Van could be my girlfriend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He smiled indulgently as I
chatted away about how great the show was, how much he sucked for not watching
it and how much fun we were going to have. I don’t get out much and get excited
over stupid things. Plus Aaron Paul is AMAZING. I just hope I don’t tear up
when bad things happen to Jesse. Just thinking about it made my eyes a little
misty. I had to say though, watching Meth addicts on BB was a lot better than
nearly being mugged by them!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The evening was such a wonderful bubble of domesticated
bliss without the complication of a relationship or sexual tension. We chatted,
teased, play fought and then planned what to do tomorrow on a rare day off. I
went to bed happier than I could remember being for so long, secretly a tiny
bit thankful to Stabby McStabberson for making this happen. Poor bastard was
probably going through withdrawal in a holding cell somewhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I fell asleep quickly and didn’t wake up once.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-8592743787266567732012-10-15T03:21:00.000-07:002012-10-15T03:21:00.208-07:00Neighbourly Behaviour
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 108pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<b><u><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Neighbourly
Behaviour.</span></u></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Unfortunately I wasn’t alone
in the lobby. A man and what looked like a crack whore were leaning against the
opposite wall, eying me up like a piece of meat. Crap. I smiled politely and
began trudging up the stairs as quickly as I could. It made no matter, the man
took the stairs two at a time and reached me in seconds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’ll be wanting to make a donation tonight.” He said,
his teeth yellow and broken, his breath horrific.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m sorry?” I could only assume he wanted my money, but I
didn’t have any on me, just spare change. “I only have spare change and not
much of that.” I said, trying to step around him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His long greasy hair hung in
front of his eyes, one had been blackened in a fight and his lip was split. I
couldn’t think why, as he was such a delightful gentleman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He pulled a wicked sharp
hunting knife from his pocket and waved it in my face unsteadily. He was either
drunk or on something and dumb too as mugging people in this building was
pointless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You can have whatever I’ve got, but it’s not much.” I
said, my heart hammering and my vision darkening at the edges. I was about to
have a full blown panic attack, just what I need.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My breathing became shallow
and quick, my palms sweaty, my vision a little weird. My hands struggled to
open my bag as they were shaking so hard. He swiped the knife across my cheek
lightly to hurry me along. I felt the blood beading from the wound. Scars were
only sexy on men. What a stupid thing to think in that moment!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I pulled out my wallet and opened it, spilling everything
into his upturned palm. He was not happy at how little there was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Looks like we’ll be taking a walk to the ATM missy.” He
said with a feral smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His female friend had
appeared, struggling with the stairs in her six inch heels. She was swaying
too, her skin a mess of ragged flesh. Meth by the looks of things. Awesome.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t have any money in my bank. I live in this shit
hole! Do you think I would do that if I had money?” I babbled, my voice getting
higher and higher as I went on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He considered that for a
moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You got anything worth selling?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I shook my head. My flat was
completely devoid of anything, apart from my dress <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and my iPod.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t believe you. We’ll be taking this little lady to a
cash point.” He said to his crack whore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She nodded, but looked so out of
it I doubted she had any idea of what was going on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He jabbed the knife into my
back until I began to walk back down the stairs. I felt blood where the knife
had poked me. He had no control over his hands, they were shaking more
violently than mine were, and the knife found my back several more times. The
back of my t shirt was damp, but I didn’t think any of the wounds were serious
as I could feel no pain. It was adrenaline, but I clung to it as it was all I
had. Could I disarm him? Push him down the stairs?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We reached the bottom and he pushed me towards the door,
the knife adding another hole to my back as he failed to stop in time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The dizziness that accompanies
a panic attack was starting to make its presence felt, and my feet grew
sluggish and unresponsive. I was stumbling more than walking, the fear making
my knees lock. I was rewarded with several more pokes and the blood was running
past my waist band and down my thigh. More worrying that the cuts was what the
knife had been used for previously. I doubted it was clean and HIV and god
knows what were worse than being mugged or cut a little. I wanted Van. I wanted
someone, anyone to stop this. I wanted all the people who were usually on the
street screaming abuse at one another to step in. But would they help or make
things worse, mugging me themselves?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Faster.” He snapped, another two punctures.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His whore was straggling
behind on unsteady legs. This was my chance. I could disarm him and run, but
where to? He knew where I lived and would just follow me. No, I was not going
to be a victim. I didn’t give a shit if he gave me a few more scars, I was not
being that scared little girl anymore. I didn’t need anyone. I could stand on
my own two feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I took a deep breath and
turned around, using my knee to hit his hand making him drop the knife. I
picked it up quickly and waved it in the air between us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok lady, you’ve made your point.” He said, raising his
hands and backing up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t think I have. Down on the ground, both of you.” I
yelled, hoping someone would come to see what the commotion was about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The whore fell to her knees
and lay down, breathing as though she were minutes from death. The man joined
her, his fingers twitching by his sides.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I took my phone out and called
the police.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The man clearly had no
intention of being arrested, and climbed to his feet. A knee to the groin soon
fixed that, and when the cops came, he was still writhing on the floor in
agony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">After taking a statement and
arresting the couple, they took me to the hospital to get my cuts cleaned up,
and to give me a blood test. They were clearly concerned about what would be on
that knife too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What a weird day. What a
terrifying, confusing, weird day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The staff at the hospital were lovely, but I had a
nightmare as far as health insurance and all that jazz were concerned. In
England, you walk into A and E, join the queue, get seen, then leave. Here you
have to fill out paperwork, even if your arm is falling off. It’s completely
insane. What if you’re unconscious?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They took blood, cleaned me up, covered my back with gauze
and told me to call them in a couple of days for the results. I really didn’t
like having that hanging over my head, but there was nothing that could be done
about it. I hurt now that the adrenaline was spent, and my cheek stung. It had
been a deeper cut than I’d thought and needed butterfly stitches to hold it together.
I would look so pretty tomorrow, I would be getting all the boy’s numbers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I got back to my flat at 4.30am, feeling like stir fried
shit, shaking with fear at every single noise the building made, jumping at
every car that drove past in the street below. Not good. Not good at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I met Van bright and early the
next morning at his apartment. I didn’t know the way to an audition he had
today, so he would drive me. His son had left late last night so I didn’t get
the chance to say goodbye to Luke or Sofia, but didn’t have time to dwell on it
due to Van’s reaction to my face.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What happened?” His eyes were wide, his jaw hanging open.
His hands flapped in the air between us as he didn’t know what to do with them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good morning to you too.” I said as he stepped aside to
let me through the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The colour had drained from
his face as his eyes traced the line across my cheek. I hadn’t had the guts to
look at it yet, holding the mirror in such a way that I couldn’t see it when I
had been getting ready that morning. Showering had been a bitch. The soap and
shampoo ran into all the cuts and stung, plus it meant all the tape and
stitches came off. I couldn’t reach my back so left it, and finally having to
examine my face to put new butterfly stitches in place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Just your friendly neighbour meth addict wanting money.” I
said, not meeting his eyes. “I’ve made a list of the pros and cons of all the
scripts you gave me.” I took out the paperwork and handed it to him. “Have you
had breakfast?” I asked, not giving him room to question me further.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re bleeding.” He said quietly, his voice monotone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My hand moved to my cheek, but
it was fine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Your shirt…” He pointed to my back where a poppy coloured
stain was spreading across my back and edging across the sides of my shirt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Awesome. That’s the only clean shirt I have. So have you
had breakfast?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Jesus George, we need to take care of this.” His hands
were lifting my shirt carefully. “What the fuck happened?” He asked, letting it
drop to grab some tissue. He blotted the wound gently, using the back of the
shirt to carefully pull me over to the sink. Thankfully I wasn’t dripping on
the carpet, I didn’t want him losing his deposit on the flat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“A meth addict called Stabby McStabbison decided I would
make a good pin cushion. It’s ok, I took his knife, kneed him in the nuts and
called the police. He and his crack whore friend were arrested.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why the hell didn’t you call me?” He asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I thankfully couldn’t see him
as he was cleaning up my back with a wet flannel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why would I call you? Besides, it was stupidly late and you
don’t sleep enough as it is.” I continued.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana stop. Regardless of our working relationship, I
am your friend. I am here if you need me. If you are in trouble, you call me.
You shouldn’t have been alone in your flat after this happened.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I yawned, unable to keep it in
any longer. I was so tired I felt dead on my feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m ok.” I said, not even convincing myself. “Do you have
any gauze? We’re running a little late.” I said, checking the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Screw the audition, they can wait.” He said irritated. I
wasn’t sure if it was because of the audition or because of me. “How can you be
so blasé about this?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Because if I think about it too much I won’t ever be able
to go back to that building and will get on a plane back to England and live in
my parent’s spare room until they or I die. I’m not doing it. I’m fine.” I
tried to inject my voice with something resembling courage or at least cover
the fear. I failed epically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He took my shoulders and
turned me around to face him, his expression unreadable. I looked down at my
feet and surprised when he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around my
waist. He was careful not to touch the holes in my back, his hands gently
brushing my skin like you would when trying to soothe a child. I couldn’t help
myself, my throat tightened and my eyes filled with tears. I was fine until
someone asked me if I was ok, or showed me affection or that they cared, that
was generally my undoing. I sobbed and sniffled into his shoulder, my arms
tight around his neck as though if I let go, there’d be nothing left. We were
going to be late and it was all my fault, but that just made me cry even more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He made ‘shh’ing sounds and
told me everything was going to be ok, that he was here for me and I wasn’t
alone. I was thankful I didn’t wear makeup as it would be all over his shirt if
I did and that would just slow us down even more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m so sorry.” I stuttered between sobs, wiping my eyes
roughly with the backs of my hands and pulling away reluctantly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t be silly, you have nothing to apologise for. Come on
let’s get these cuts covered and we’ll see if I can find you a shirt to wear.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We got to the audition on
time, but I had no doubt of what they thought when I walked in, red eyed,
sniffing and wearing a man’s shirt that was at least three sizes too big. I
didn’t care anymore, I was just too tired.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">This audition had been
arranged before I’d become his PA, so I knew nothing about the role or what was
involved. For auditions, I waited with the other hopefuls in the waiting room
as it would be inappropriate to go marching in with him. I used the time (and
their Wi-Fi) to check my emails, contact a few people about things Van needed
arranging, and to check on my haters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Twitter ran slow on my ancient machine - that and the fact
that it was threatening to crash under the sheer volume of nasty messages. Just
bloody great. I wasn’t having the best day and really didn’t need this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I went through and reported
the worst ones, before typing my own ‘tweet’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m sorry that people are failing to understand that I
work for VM. We are not a couple, we are not dating. It is my job to make his
life easier. Sending me hate mail is not the best way to get in his good
books.” Admittedly it had to be split over a couple of tweets, but I was
thoroughly fucked off with it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I checked my face book and found friend requests from my
Beloved, Masanobu and 1000 rabid fan girls. I’d been sent a link to the ‘I HOPE
GEORGIANA MACMANUS DIES!” page. The only photo they had was the one Van had
taken of me and they’d edited it in such a delightful way. I had a speech
bubble coming from my mouth that said; ‘I’m a skanky, dirty, disease ridden
whore.’ and they’d blacked a couple of my teeth, given me wrinkles and added
flies buzzing around my head. I joined the group and complimented the
originality of their photo editing skills, offering them several more photos
that they would have more fun with. I even littered it with kisses and smiley
faces. I didn’t care anymore. I just didn’t have the energy. I scrolled down to
a document called; ‘Why we hate that British fucktarded bitch.’ and felt my jaw
hit my lap.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The reasons they hated me? I was using Van. I was probably
giving him STDs by being in the same room as him. I was causing him to drink
more, smoke more and sleep less. Since I had become his PA, he had looked
progressively less happy with each passing day. I was ugly. I was stupid. I was
going to trick him into getting me pregnant then I was going to steal all his
money. I stopped him seeing his son and I hated his ex (but so did they by the
looks of things) Seriously, what was wrong with these people!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I shut the thing down as the battery was dying, plugging it
into the wall and looking around at the picture perfect men and women I was
surrounded by. There were several other PAs, they were easy to spot as they had
their phones surgically attached to their ears. Did they have hate groups
dedicated to them on the internet? Somehow I doubted it. They seemed so
efficient and professional with their immaculate hair, nails and business
suits. I got a lot of evil stares and wide eyed curiosity when they saw the cut
on my face. Maybe I should have sent the haters a photo of my face so they
could start a rumour that I was in a gang fight or a riot or something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I rubbed my tired eyes and pulled some paper out of my bag.
I’d write my mum a letter as I had nothing much else to do without my laptop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘Dear Mum and Dad,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope you’re well. Things here are great.
The weather is always amazing and I love my job. My boss is incredibly sweet
and kind, and the work is varied and challenging. Next week I’ll be going to a
premiere with him so you might even see me in a magazine. I’m not looking
forward to it as you know how clumsy I am and how socially inept, but it should
be fun and will be the first time I’ve seen some of his work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I might be moving to New York when Van heads back there
after pilot season, but I’m not sure as of yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Is there anything you’d like
me to send over to you? American food or whatever?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Take Care<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">George.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We weren’t a family of many
words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van strode out of the audition
looking weary but elated.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How was it my lovely?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Everyone’s eyes had turned to
focus on Van, the women longingly, the men jealously. He pulled me to my feet
and put my arm through his.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I think it went well. I’d love to do this movie as the
script is really unusual. We’ll see.” He said, pecking me on the cheek.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I blinked. Oh if the fan girls
had seen that! No doubt several of the people in the waiting room had witnessed
it and would be ensuring the world at large knew what a disgusting floozy I
was. He had just kissed me. Van Murphy just kissed me. Today just got a whole
lot better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We went to lunch at a small
restaurant as Van liked to avoid the ones that Hollywood royalty frequented for
any number of reasons. I was relieved, plus they had a Vegan option. I vetoed
Van’s idea of just having dessert and he pouted melodramatically.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have to ask…how are you still alive?” I said as they
brought our meals. I’d forced him to get a side salad as well as the burger and
chips. Was he allergic to vegetables?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Pure luck I expect.” He said raising an eyebrow and his
favourite salute. I returned it with a big grin. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Love you too. I’m serious though, you have a son. You need
to look after yourself better, if only for his sake.” I snarfed a piece of
pasta and popped it in my mouth. It was so good!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know.” He said. “I’m doing good with the cigs though.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded, thrilled that he had
cut down so much. We ate in companionable silence, his smile fading every time
he looked upon the cut on my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The interview cancelled for this afternoon.” I said,
checking my mobile. They didn’t even bother to call, just sent a half arsed
text. Nice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Booyah!” He said raising his drink in a toast. “Thank the
lord. That means we can get you moved!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m sorry, what?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re coming to live with me. No arguments. I’m not
having you in that hell hole a minute longer, besides, we won’t be in town for
more than four weeks, so we’ll find you a place in New York.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I stared at him open mouthed,
not having a clue of what to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re coming to New York right?” he asked, stabbing a
piece of lettuce with his fork.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We’d never really discussed
what would happen when he went back to NY, he couldn’t need a PA once pilot
season was over as he mostly did movies the rest of the time and they were long
term with a lot less that needed arranging. Was he just being polite? I mean
I’d follow him into Hell if he asked, but was I really needed? And living with
him? For a month! What the hell! How would that work? I’d be driving him crazy
the whole time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’d love to go with you to New York, but I’m ok in my flat
at the moment. As you say, it’s only for a month.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I said no arguments. It’s happening. You can cope with me
for a month right?” He winked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fine. Let me know how much you want for rent and junk like
that and first thing we need to do is go food shopping because if we’re living
together, you’re going to be eating properly.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist the idea of being
able to nag me 24/7.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I threw my napkin at him but
he ducked it easily.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You have next to nothing to transport, so it should only
take one trip.” He said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, but you’re not allowed to see my dress.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded before returning his
attention to dissecting the salad. I was with him on that one, salad is vile.
I’m probably the only vegan on the planet that doesn’t eat them. Yuck. But
needs must and he was going to be the healthiest son of a bitch in the country
if I had my way. Where had this control freak come from? Was it born out of concern
or a power trip? I had no desire for power and shied away from the idea of it.
It was because I couldn’t bear the thought of him being ill, but if he ever
was, I’d look after him happily. Poor boy would be sick of me within 24 hours,
I’d put money on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-39599688498703450782012-10-14T08:47:00.000-07:002012-10-15T03:19:43.729-07:00Sofia<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was obsessively scrubbing
the bath when there was a knock at the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m not making any noise! Seriously! I’m just cleaning
the…” I pulled the door open and was face to face with Sofia. She looked
radiant, stunning, glorious, heavenly…every single adjective that had never
been used to describe me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good morning George. My friend let me down and Van
mentioned you needed a dress for the premiere so I thought…” she trailed off,
strangely self-conscious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I stood staring at her, rubber
gloves on, hair pulled into a messy bun and a scrubbing brush held in midair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Come in, come in before you get murdered!” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She laughed, but I wasn’t
joking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He shouldn’t have let you come here, it’s so dangerous!” I
said in a squeaky voice, freaked out and ashamed at the state myself and the
flat were in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He obviously hasn’t told you that I’m a third Dan in Taekwondo.
I’ll be fine. You live here alone?” She asked. “You’re such a little thing.”
She placed a hand on my arm and I didn’t know what to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m so sorry about the state of the place, but it’s just a
complete dump no matter what I do and…” I was babbling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She held up a hand and smiled
reassuringly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I was born in a trailer park my sweet, this is a palace in
comparison.” She was being serious, there wasn’t a hint of teasing in her tone.
I was waiting for the love to turn to hate, because I was DESPERATE to loathe
her, but each time I spoke to her, I was a little bit more in love with her.
Not in a gay way, just in a ‘I want her to be my best friend/sister/aunt/roommate’
kind of way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I noticed that although she
was immaculately dressed, she didn’t have fake nails, her brows weren’t plucked
out and redrawn in and she didn’t seem to have had Botox from the way her
forehead actually moved when she smiled. Please God don’t tell me she’s
naturally that beautiful! Urgh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh. Um…I just need to go changed and then…I would say make
yourself at home but I don’t have any chairs…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She laughed, the sound so full
of light and joy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Nothing I owned was remotely suitable
for shopping with a world famous super model, so I gave up and settled on
clothes I would wear for work. Everything else I owned was flip flops, band
t-shirts and jeans with half the knees worn out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t look so worried.” She said when I reappeared,
scraping my hair into a ponytail as I hadn’t had time to wash it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Why couldn’t I have woken up
looking half decent for once?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van’s given me some money for a dress and shoes, and
warned me you hate shopping so I’ll go easy on you.” She linked her arm through
mine and lead me to the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I grabbed my keys and other
junk and chucked them in my huge bag.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“George, I need to tell you something, or several things. I
also hate shopping, but it became a necessary evil for my job. I hate spending
more than $20 on an item of clothing and most of what I own was given to me.
You look terrified, but you don’t need to. We’re far more alike than my job
would imply.” She squeezed my arm in a way that reminded me of Van, and I felt
guilty for trying so hard to hate her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We’re going to have fun, I promise. We’ll get lunch, I
know an amazing Vegan restaurant and we’ll bitch about Van and men in general.”
Her smile was deliciously wicked and I knew that I had found my role model in
life. Obviously I’d never be anything like her, but she was utterly perfect in
every way that I could see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What a day! Sofia is
everything a girl could want in a friend; she’s fun, humble, sweet, as
charismatic as her ex, generous with her time (and unfortunately her money, I
felt so guilty) and unfailingly polite to everyone. She also has a wicked sense
of humour that I wouldn’t have expected from how sweet she was, but I spent
most of the day laughing my ass off and snorting in a really unattractive way.
I know for a fact we were photographed, but couldn’t be surprised about that.
She was apparently the most successful super model of our time. I admitted to
her that I hadn’t heard of her before I met Van, and she thought it was
brilliant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“There is nothing more awkward than having everyone know
your name when you know none of theirs. It makes me feel incredibly rude.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was closer to Van’s age than mine, but could have been
my sister. Up close I had hoped to find at least one tiny flaw, one hair out of
place, but she truly was perfection incarnate. She won me over effortlessly and
we found an amazing dress to boot. Shopping hadn’t been remotely painful, in
fact, I didn’t remember ever having so much fun in my life. Even with Van. I
was getting a girl crush on my beloved’s ex. I hoped I never had to take sides
as I would probably take hers. God she was wonderful. She also now had someone
who would defend her to the hilt as I was damned if I’d ever hear a word said
against her in my lifetime.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was also incredibly wise and intelligent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van and I met when we were very young. We got on
wonderfully and I think we both confused that for love. I adore him and I will
always love him, but I was never in love with him, I just wanted to be. It was
the same with him. The newspapers loved us as a couple to the point where we
weren’t really sure what was true and what was fiction. Luke was a happy
accident, neither of us had wanted kids at that point, but I have no regrets.
Van is the most amazing father and my son is the light of my life.” She looked
so blissfully happy in that moment that she was even more beautiful if that
were possible. Her radiance lit up a room, her presence making everything seem
a little better. And her laugh! She had the dirtiest laugh I’d ever heard! It
was brilliant! She could have been laughing at me and I wouldn’t have been able
to stop myself joining her it was so infectious. So I was now a little in love
with Van’s ex. Maybe the three of us could get married? I wasn’t remotely gay
or bi, but I really wanted her in my life, she was unearthly. I was in absolute
awe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I think she even guessed how I felt about Van, but she was
tactful enough not to say it in so many words. I was a little sad when the day
ended, but she promised that if I followed Van back to NY, we’d make it a
regular thing. Why would such a successful, amazing woman want me in her life? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The dress was hanging from the
shower curtain rail, covered in layers of protective plastic, but just having
it here made me worry it was going to end up contaminated. It was simple in
style, but elegant and made me look like an adult rather than a child playing
dress up. Sofia had suggested the perfect hair style to go with it, along with
colours for makeup that would suit my colouring and make my paleness almost
iridescent rather than washed out. She’d given me the number of a local makeup
artist and hair stylist she used locally and had emailed them her ideas. I was
truly grateful. I had NO clue about that kind of thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I gazed at the dress for entirely too long, excited about
it in a way I’d never been about clothes before. It was a soft pink, one
shouldered dress of taffeta and gauze looking like something a fae or elf might
wear. I loved it. When Sofia had headed straight for it in the shop, I was
happy to see we’d both zeroed in on exactly the same one. There was also the
fact that it was made by a small designer who would benefit from exposure and
it had cost nothing in comparison to some of the others we had looked at. The
designer (and owner of the small boutique) was euphoric to know it would be
worn at a premiere, and hid her disappointment well when she realised it was me
and not Sofia who would be donning it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now that all that was arranged, I was left with the all-consuming
terror of how to behave and how in the hell I was going to make it through the
evening without flipping out, swearing or spilling something down the dress. I
was comforted by the fact that Van used his ‘one fingered salute’ in every
situation imaginable, so that may make it less horrific if I do swear at an
inappropriate time (the whole evening). There would be famous people here, and
I might actually have heard of some of them. How would I manage not to freak
out and go ‘fan girl’, screaming and pointing with a ‘OH MY FUCKING GOD IT’S
JARED LETO!’ I hoped to god Jared Leto isn’t there as it would not be possible
for me to control the squealing and ensuing embarrassment as I start crying or
stalk him all evening. Van would probably find it hilarious, but I doubted
Hollywood royalty would. If I was really lucky, I would be beneath all their
notice and I could just hide, enjoy the movie and leave having crossed another
first off a list I hadn’t realised existed in the PA stakes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was in so over my head it wasn’t funny. So far I had
managed to get by, I was even starting to excel at some things, but this…this
was seven kinds of hell for me. I knew it wasn’t Van’s cup of tea either, so
hopefully we could hide somewhere together. This was his movie though, not just
some random premiere, so he would be hassled on the red carpet constantly. Did
I have to arrange those interviews or did they just grab him as he walked by?
And there would be tons of his fans there, would they be pelting me with rotten
fruit or rocks? This was going to be so bad!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No. No, this was going to be awesome. People would kill for
this, so I am going to enjoy myself regardless of what happens. If I mess up,
well, it’ll be in the paper and Van will get more column inches which will help
spread awareness of him. Plus I might actually get the crown for most hated
girl in America, not just this state. I was being a selfish, unprofessional
cow. This was Van’s night and I needed to focus on that, not my own petty
little problems, after all, there were an infinite number of worse situations
to be in. I was going to enjoy this and make it as awesome as possible by
keeping my mouth shut and smiling politely at everyone. I couldn’t promise I
wouldn’t lash out of people said my accent was ‘cute’ though. That might be the
line I will cross.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was gazing lovingly at my
dress again, fantasising about how Van would fall in love with me when I was
all dolled up and we’d run away into the sunset together (the stuff of fan
fiction actually), when my phone rang. I rushed to pick it up before my crazy bitch
neighbour started banging on the door. It was an unknown number. Could it be
Masanobu?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Uh…Hey, Georgiana. I’m really sorry I didn’t call before,
but I ran out of credit.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was poor like me! Awesome!
As much as I know I would trade in a lung, kidney and half my liver for a
relationship with Van, it would be too uneven. He was wealthy, I wasn’t. He was
talented, I wasn’t. He was beautiful…well, you get the picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Masanobu on the other hand had a normal job and was
struggling to get by, like I had been until I met Van. Sure I wasn’t rolling in
it, but I was content and he was pretty generous with covering costs, travel etc.
and always paid for our lunches etc. With Masanobu I would feel more sane. Life
would be grounded and domestic and…did I just say life? Was I seriously
thinking long term when we hadn’t even had a date yet? Hollywood was getting to
me, this place was like a virus entering your brain and changing your
perception of everything around you until you were flipping out about stupid
things and staring at dresses like they were magical. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hi! I’m so glad you called.” I said, trying to hold back
the desperate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you busy tonight? I was hoping we could grab a drink
or something…” He trailed off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I would love to. What time and where?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll come pick you up, in an hour?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I gave him my address etc. and
hung up, wondering what the hell I was going to wear. On the plus side, my band
t shirts and well-loved jeans would probably be more acceptable with Masanobu,
and we were going for a drink, not a formal dinner. I couldn’t have afforded
dinner anyway, I was saving up to get something for Van’s birthday next month,
though I had no bloody clue where to start. He wasn’t one for material
possessions, and I just couldn’t think of something more personal to get him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I settled on the only none destroyed pair of jeans I had,
though they were a little tight. My top was black with lace capped sleeves. It
was cute, but casual and not me trying to be someone else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I walked down to the lobby to
wait for Masanobu, not wanting to step outside as the usual posse were gathered
around the door, smoking god knows what and shouting to each other even though
they were only stood a foot apart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Masa’s car pulled up and I instantly loved it. It wasn’t
brand new, it wasn’t a Bentley and it looked well loved. Perfect. It was an old
school Chevy truck, the kind of thing Van would appreciate. Masa caught my eye
and looked slightly ashamed of his ‘humble’ truck with its faded paint, but I
couldn’t have been happier. I hated the way everything was ‘perfect’ here, it
was an illusion and so false. I liked things that were lived in and worn
because they were real. Masa probably earned less than I did working where he
did, and for that I felt a little guilty as I really didn’t deserve the good
fortune I’d had with my job.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hi!” I said, opening the door and jumping in before a shoot-out
erupted or a crack whore tried to garter business from my date.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Looks a lot like where I live.” Masa said with a laugh,
pulling away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I love feeling like I’m going to be murdered every time I
open my door. But at least it keeps me on my toes.” I said. “So where did you
want to go? I haven’t really explored much as I have a habit of getting lost in
my own street.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He laughed and caught my eye
in the rear view mirror. He looked even more beautiful than the last time I’d
seen him -if that were possible. His eyes were brighter, his hair a mussed up
style that looked effortless and obsessive all at once, his clothing was
similar to mine with the jeans and tee, but his had Kanji all over it. I could
only hope it didn’t say something like ‘Death to all English Girls!’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He caught me looking at it and
translated for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It says ‘Gaijin not permitted’” He laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Gaijin is barbarian or foreigner isn’t it?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I thought it was funny as I would more than likely be the
Gaijin here, or at least my mum would be. My dad’s all American, but my mom is
from Kyoto.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Very cool.” I said, jealous that he had such an
interesting background.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The extent of my family tree
was that my dad’s side were English, my mum’s Irish. That was it, I didn’t
speak a second language or even have a cool Irish accent. It was only my Nana
and a couple of my aunts and uncles that did. I could only imagine how crazy
the Americans would go over an Irish accent if they thought my English one were
cute.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Masa was constantly sneaking looks at me when he thought I
wasn’t looking. Whenever I caught him, he would blush a little, staring intently
at the road like I had imagined it. We stopped at a small bar about ten minutes
from my flat. The neon flashing sign was in such an elaborate script that I
couldn’t make it out, but it looked nice enough. It was dead inside, which
suited me down the ground. I’m not good in busy places. We found a table and
Masa left to head to the bar.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I looked around at the sports paraphernalia nailed to the
wall; framed baseball shirts, baseball mitts, photos of sport’s stars…it was
all lost on me, but the colours were nice to look at and I used the opportunity
to familiarise myself with some of the teams in case it ever came up in
conversation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He returned with my diet coke
and I was relieved to find no trace of alcohol in it when I took a sip. Van was
notorious for sneaking booze into my drinks, though it was never much, it was
there. He gave himself away with the awful ‘innocent’ smile he would always
use. He was guilty as sin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I shook myself. I was here
with Masanobu, I shouldn’t be thinking about another man, it wasn’t fair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So how was your day?” I began.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The evening was pleasant
enough. Masanobu was endearingly shy and sweet, asking me a lot of questions
but not answering many of mine. I didn’t mention who I was PA to as I didn’t
think it was fair to Van, besides, people could try to use it against us. I had
no doubt that people would ply me with sneaky questions that I would answer
innocently enough, but that could cause Van all kinds of problems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As much as I enjoyed Masa’s company, I didn’t feel the all-consuming
attraction and spark that I got every time I saw Van. Had I been ruined now?
Would no one come close to him and his chain smoking, caffeine dependent self?
I tried to list his faults, but came up short, he had so few. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We agreed to meet for a second
‘date/drink/thing’ but didn’t set a specific time due to us both working weird
shifts. I would see him again as he was easy to talk to, we were both Vegan so
could have a good bitch about Omnivores and I really did enjoy his company. I
just didn’t feel like I <i>needed </i>to see him again, which was a tugging on
my heartstrings that I got whenever I left Van’s side. I was clearly a messed
up individual if I was pining after a man I could never have. Never, ever, ever
in a million years, even if I had a personality transplant, extensive surgery
and won the lottery, it just wouldn’t happen. He didn’t see me like that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Masa dropped me back in front
of my flats and I let myself in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-59112291652033959972012-10-13T03:30:00.000-07:002012-10-13T03:30:04.181-07:00Other People's Kids
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Friday was a particularly bad
day for Van in the sense that in all five of the interviews, the women asking
the questions had no idea about personal space. One even had her hand on his
thigh at one point. I was so proud of myself for not hissing and spitting at
her, instead settling for setting her hair on fire in my mind. Not so cute with
charred extensions are you love? And your lips fillers are melting? Oh no! Poor
you! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was still finishing up the scripts, but was struggling to
concentrate between the girlish, high pitched squeals of delight and the valley
girl giggles that emanated from the cookie cutter blondes they had inflicted on
us today. More dumb questions, more twitching from my beloved, more sitting on
my hands to stop myself scratching eyes out. This place was making me very
aggressive and prone to violence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I excused myself to get Van some lunch. He asked for
cigarettes and coffee, but that wasn’t happening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I found a café easily enough,
loving that it was a little independent place and not one of the huge brands
that dominated every street corner here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was looking at all the
amazing things behind the glass counter when a beautiful pair of brown eyes met
mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hello, how can I help you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He must have been my age or
there about, his colouring making me think that one of his parents must have
been Asian. He was beautiful with his obsessively styled hair and gentle smile.
The geek chic glasses were adorable too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Stupid question, but is any of this Vegan?” I was used to
people not understanding what a Vegan was. It came with the territory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t tell anyone, but all of it is. I’m a Vegan myself. I
used to label everything as Vegan, but sales went through the floor, so now
it’s on the DL.” His accent was definitely American, but I couldn’t tell from
where. I was getting used to waiters and coffee shop workers being struggling
actors or models and assumed he was one or the other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You are my hero.” I said, flirting ever so slightly. I
pointed over several things to take, trying to give Van a balanced meal that he
might actually eat. The guy boxed them up for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Your accent is very cute by the way.” He said, making me
blush.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I was thinking exactly the same thing about yours.” I
said, sticking my tongue out at him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Um…I don’t usually do this but…would you be offended if I
asked for your number?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why would you want my…oh.” I blinked. No one hit on me
ever, and certainly not in this land of perfect people where normality was a
sin and you didn’t leave the house without at least six layers of make up on. I
currently wore none, just the usual sunscreen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Here’s my card.” I said, taking out one of the elegantly
printed things Van had had made for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“PA huh? I’m thinking I might be aiming out of my league.”
He blushed. He actually blushed! This incredibly beautiful guy was flirting
with me and blushing! What the hell! Had I fallen into some alternate dimension
or hit my head?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Trust me, I have no idea of what I’m doing. Anyway, you’re
no doubt an actor or model as a first choice of career?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No….just work here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Stupid girl you’ve made him
feel bad about himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good. I hate how pretentious actors and models are, even
though I work for one.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He laughed, his whole face
lighting up with it. He pushed his glasses back up his nose and handed me my
bag, his fingers brushing mine as he passed it to me. There was a jolt, I’ll admit
it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’d love to hear from you.” I said, feeling like I was
high on something and empowered beyond recognition.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll call you after work, if that suits you?” He was
twisting his hands around each other nervously. He was so cute!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I work weird hours, but if I’m not around I’ll call you
back. Thank you for this.” I held up the bag. “Bye.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Bye Georgiana…” he read my name from the card. “I’m
Masanobu.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Pleased to meet you Masanobu. Awesome name. I love Ando
Masanobu the actor.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He smiled, blushing again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll speak to you later then.” I said, turning to leave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok…bye.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Wow. I don’t think I’ve been
chatted up in my life! No one has ever taken my number like that, it was
insane! Is this how it was for the rest of the world?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I practically skipped back to the studio, ignoring Van’s
disapproval at my lack of caffeine and nicotine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Eat it all or I’ll take you over my knee.” I said shaking
my head as he examined a Panini like it might be poisoned. “You like bread, you
like lettuce, tomato and salad so don’t look at me like that.” I couldn’t hide
my smile. Two incredibly beautiful men in one day, I was a lucky girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But…it’s not caffeine.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No sweetie, it’s not. This is called food. Normal people
eat this stuff three times a day without being nagged.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He rolled his eyes
dramatically, but a smile was dancing at the corner of his lips. His eyes were
heavily ringed with a lack of sleep and he was drained. Maybe food would help.
I was amazed he was still alive with the amount he abused himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I got Vegan cupcakes for dessert!” I said happily, pulling
out the brightly coloured cakes and handing him the pink one. The blue one was
mine mwahahahaha!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re lucky you’re cute.” He said biting into the Panini
with trepidation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Wuss.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He loved the sandwich and even
stole half of mine, it was that good. I repaid the favour by stealing half the
apple juice I’d bought him. I guarded the cupcake with my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why did I get pink?” He asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Wow, someone’s sexist. Because I’m a girl I should have
pink?” I pretended to be appalled, but he had me giggling within minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Finally the interviews were
over and we could go back to his. It was 6.30 by the time we arrived, and from
the text I’d received from Sofia, they were on their way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m going to the take out, what do you want?” I said,
keeping up the charade.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He gave me his order and I
made myself scarce, but not quickly enough. I ran into an extraordinarily
stunning woman in the corridor with a blonde boy who had Van’s eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sofia?” I whispered, hoping Van couldn’t hear through the
door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She nodded and opened her arms
to embrace me. I don’t even hug my family, but ok… I still really wanted to
hate her for having this huge part of Van that I would never have access to.
You can’t fight history and there was the small (incredibly tall for his age
actually) issue of Luke. The photo Van had shown me hadn’t done him justice. He
was gorgeous, but then both his parents were so it made sense. I could see both
of them in his face. He had his father’s hair colour, but his mother’s delicate
nose which was incredibly cute on him. He watched me embrace his mum, shifting
his weight from foot to foot like Van does when he’s self-conscious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana, it’s wonderful to meet you.” She whispered,
kissing my cheek. “Luke, this is your dad’s assistant, she arranged all this.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Call me George, or Iana, or Mac. Van has no end of
nicknames for me.” I said with a smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hi, I’m Luke.” He said, extending a hand for me to shake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hello Luke, your dad talks about you a lot. I hear you’re
into American football. And you’re so tall! You can’t only be 12!” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He reached out and hugged me
as his mother had and I felt a little choked up. He didn’t know me, but was so
full of warmth and affection.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Dad says you’re from England. I like your voice.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I assumed he meant my accent,
but coming from him it was sweet, not irritating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I am and thank you. I should let you get in and see your
dad, he needs cheering up as work is pretty boring for him at the moment.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We brought him his favourite foods from New York.” Luke
said, holding us a brown paper bag.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That will be just what he needs I think, along with a big
hug. It was wonderful to meet you both and I’m sure we’ll see each other again
pretty soon.” I smiled warmly at them both, feeling strangely at ease in their
company. I couldn’t hate her. I wanted to so badly, but I couldn’t. She was
unreal. Being here had made me think that beauty = bitchiness, but she was all
sweetness and light. I could see why he had loved her, but I couldn’t
understand why it had ended. Hell, I’d go gay for her, she was awesome and
they’d both raised this sweet, polite, gorgeous boy. I wasn’t feeling maternal,
but I was feeling something. A little sad and melancholic perhaps?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sofia gave me another huge hug before bidding me goodbye.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Part of me wanted to stay and
see how happy he was when he saw them, but it wasn’t my place. I was in his
world, but also outside it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘<i>Thank you for this. Love you Mac. It was just what I
needed</i>.’ The text read. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’d reopened it about fifty
times, smiling to myself as I did. The smile faded when I looked up at my
‘home’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The flat was growing more
depressing by the day as damp began to spread in the corners of the rooms and
down the walls. I was literally seeing this place fall apart before my eyes.
The sink was blocked and I couldn’t find the desk guy to tell him, so was
flushing everything down the toilet. That meant that crazy lady upstairs came
and banged on the door because I was making too much noise. I ignored her, put
in my earphones and shattered my eardrums with my iPod and some Gackt in honour
of Masanobu’s Japanese heritage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I spent way too much time staring at the phone that night,
but he didn’t call. I wasn’t particularly surprised, but I was sorely
disappointed and a little hurt. Why pretend you’re interested if you’re not? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I finished going through the
scripts, noting that Van’s career would be effectively over if he went anywhere
near two of these projects. The third was a possibility, but not very exciting
or unique. I needed to sit him down and discuss the future. What were his goals
work wise? What was he looking for specifically? Comedy? Action? TV? Movies? I
put the notes on my new (old) laptop that Van had bought me a few days ago. He
said it was necessary for my job and wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I found
a cheapish second hand one, heh heh heh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I scribbled some questions
down to ask him on Monday and lay on the bed staring at the ceiling until I
lost consciousness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-16413748483711358852012-10-12T01:33:00.001-07:002012-10-12T01:33:15.485-07:00Luke - Saviour of Van-kind
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Another glorious day in a
place that should be renamed the sunshine state. I don’t care if that’s
Florida, it was heavenly here (weather wise and also if you like feeling that
you’re going to die every time you step outside your front door.) I was in such
a bloody good mood, I even smiled at the evil bitch that knocked on my door to
complain I was ‘dressing too loud’ even though I had only gotten out of bed to
answer her knocking. I had to think of a way of pranking her, she deserved it.
I also suspected she was the ‘urinator’ that was leaving puddles outside my
door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was 3am and I should have been shattered, but I felt
AWESOME! I had a plan. Ok, I had the plan to think of a plan, but it was a
start. How could I cheer up Van? How could I put that big old stars and stripes
smile back on his face? (Everything here was stars and stripes. In England it’s
all crumpets, rain and tea. Heh heh heh) God I missed crumpets, they didn’t
seem to have them here. I also missed bread that didn’t taste like cake (they
put tons of sugar in it! It’s just wrong!), decent tea and knowing my way
around, but I was willing to give those things up for my new life. And my new
life needed a boost to bring his enthusiasm back. I’d lay off on the cigarette
nagging for the time being, and maybe try to cut down on the caffeine abuse
pushing that I was doing. He couldn’t be sleeping well if he was that wired all
the time. But what else?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I had it! A brainwave! I’d get his son here! He must miss
him, and he couldn’t have seen him in over a month. That would cheer him up no
end! But that would mean talking to his evil ex…Ok, that wasn’t fair. She
wasn’t remotely evil from what I had heard, in fact she was lovely by the way
everyone tells it, but she’s evil because she’s dated him. I sound just like a
psycho fan girl, but I’m ok with it. I’d have to steal his phone somehow and
arrange it. He had nothing this weekend so this could work. Awesome!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was entirely too chipper when I met up with him and he
looked suspicious. And exhausted unfortunately. I handed him a coffee and
rubbed his arm in what I hoped was comradary or appropriate affection. He
didn’t seem to mind, in fact he barely noticed he was so lost looking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Could I steal your phone a moment? I want to nab a couple
of the numbers of your agent etc.” I said laughing evilly to myself in my head.
I was a genius.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He handed it over without a
word, suppressing a yawn and leaning against the wall with such despondence
that I wanted to hug him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Awesome! I had her number, now
I just had to excuse myself to call her. Would she think it was weird me
calling? I didn’t care, I had to cheer him up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Would you excuse me a minute, I have to call my mum back.”
I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded, pulling out a
cigarette now that I was leaving the vicinity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I dialed the number, panicking
about what I was going to say. This was weird, really weird.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hello?” A beautiful voice answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh hi Sofia, my name’s George, I’m Van’s PA.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh hello, how are you? How’re you two getting on? Is he
treating you well?” Damn her for being all sweet and lovely. I wanted to hate
her!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s great, but I’m worried about him, he’s really, really
down at the moment.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He always is when he’s in Hollywood.” She said softly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I was wondering if Luke could possibly come visit to cheer
him up? Van’s free this weekend and I thought we could surprise him.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s actually a really good idea, I’ve been meaning to
call Van to arrange something. I’ve got friends there so I could bring him and
make myself scarce until it’s time to take Luke back.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That would be brilliant thank you so much.” I gushed,
doing everything in my power to hate her. It wasn’t happening, she was bloody
wonderful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok hon, I’ll check times etc. and I’ll text you the
details.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you so much, hopefully this will put a smile back on
his face.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Bless you for caring. His last PA used him for a modeling
career. It never happened though and she spent months slating him in the press
- all lies of course, but some people must have believed it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s awful! How could anyone do that to him? He’s so
lovely!” I gushed. Reel it in sister.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was now starting to find out
the truth. He had had a PA before, but she had fucked him over. I’d find her
and scratch her eyes out! He said I was his first! I was a little hurt, but I
knew the reasons behind it. If I knew about what she had done, it might give me
ideas to do the same. I think not, I’d do pretty much anything for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know. That’s what Hollywood’s like, it’s why we prefer
Luke to be in New York away from all that bitchiness and fallacy. By the way,
you have the cutest accent!” She said happily. Grrrrr, she’d been doing so well
up until that point.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thanks…well, I’ll let you go I’m sure you’re really busy.
Thank you again. Take care.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Bye hon, look after Van for us.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I will.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I hung up feeling a little
disorientated. She was so sweet and caring, and still obviously thought about
Van a lot. Why hadn’t it worked between them? They both seemed to be humble,
grounded, lovely people. Plus she was a frigging super model so must be ridiculously
attractive. I was thankful I was clueless the who’s who of the modeling world,
my self-esteem couldn’t handle it. But I might have to meet with her! Crap,
crap, crap. This was going to suck. But it was more than worth it if it made
Van smile again. I missed it, it was like the sun going behind the clouds or
rain in summer (Which unfortunately is the norm in England) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wandered back over to Van who was on his third cig if the
stubs at his feet were anything to go by. He was clutching the coffee cup like
it was the Holy Grail, sipping from it desperately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You ok?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s just this place, it’s draining you know, having to
play nice with people you know are going to stab you in the back and that you
can’t trust.” He sighed deeply, a weary, fed up sound that made my heart ache.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve been sent some scripts, would you mind looking over
them and let me know what you think?” He rummaged around in his bag and handed
me a thick wad of paper. Everything about his movements was disconsolate and depressed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s my job my lovely.” I said, taking them. “Ok, today
is interviews, exciting stuff, but once it’s done, there’s only tomorrow and
you have the whole weekend free! Crazy I know, what will you do with yourself?”
I said with a laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He managed a halfhearted smile
and sucked on his cig, blowing out smoke rings.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Any plans?” I asked, trying to get him to engage and not
dwell. I knew that was something I was guilty of and was an awful symptom of
depression that stopped you from helping yourself by ruminating over things
that meant nothing in the big scheme of things. Apart from the first few
nights, I have been so happy here, and I knew that was solely down to him (and
the sunshine, but mostly him) and I just wanted to snap my fingers and make everything
better. He was exhausted; physically, mentally and emotionally. I saw the
strain of being here on him, it was like Chinese water torture, a constant
irritation that sapped all enthusiasm. This was my first time here, so I was
still in awe, but I could see how easily it would be to become jaded to it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nope. I think I’m just going to catch up on sleep and
trashy TV.” He sighed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sounds good. When do you need these scripts by?” My voice
was the perkiest I had ever heard it, but Van didn’t seem to notice.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Wednesday if you can. If you could summarise them for me
and let me know what you would think if you were the audience as far as plot
and story go. There’s two pilots and three movies. I need to get at least one
of them, but notes on character etc. would be useful for auditions. I’m sorry
to dump it on you, but I’ve not been sleeping and…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van, my darling, I am your PA. It is my job to make your
life easier. It’s ok. I’m quite excited actually. I’ve never seen a script
before.” I placed them in a folder to protect them and put it in my bag. I was
laden down a lot now days, trying to keep healthy food on tap for Van,
paperwork, all sorts of junk I probably didn’t need. My back was usually
killing me at the end of the day, but it was more than worth it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Have you had breakfast?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He shook his head, knowing
what was coming next.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Muffin or fruit? The muffins are bran, uber healthy, low
fat, low <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">sugar….you’ll live forever.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I handed him one and he bit
into it like it was poisoned. Chewing contemptuously. He shot me an evil look,
but softened it with a smile. Today he wore a heavy cotton shirt in a khaki
colour that brought out a hint of green in his eyes. His jeans were deep blue
and the usual low slung variety, looking entirely too good on him. He always
managed to get away with looking slightly too casual. Everyone loved him, he
could have turned up in rags if he’d liked no doubt. Had I been him, I probably
would have been a bit smarter, but it would be to cover up the fact that I had
no personality and nothing interesting to say. There would be a short photo
shoot involved today, but nothing as dramatic as yesterday’s all day pain-fest.
I had come out in a bruise around my wrist where that bastard had grabbed me,
but from the way he’d been holding the camera, I’d hurt him more. Heh heh,
don’t fuck with me mother fucker. I was coming over all Samuel L Jackson in
gangster movies. Awesome! Though no one will ever be as awesome and Samuel L.
Ever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We were let in to the building once Van finished his
fiftieth fag (I was only exaggerating a little) and he looked no happier. He
was up one muffin and an apple though, so I was feeling a bit better that he
was eating something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The interviewer introduced
herself to Van, ignoring me until he pointed me out. She narrowed her eyes when
he wasn’t looking, but clearly decided I wasn’t a threat in my non named
clothes. I’m sorry I can’t afford Gucci or whatever the high hell she was
wearing. The soles of her heels were red; that was a famous brand wasn’t it? I
had no clue and I didn’t care either. My wages went on stupid luxuries like
food, electric and rent. The cost of her shirt alone probably could have gotten
me a better flat. Plus she touched Van way too much. I needed to grow my nails
so I could scratch a few eyes out when the need arose. He wasn’t impressed
though, backing away from her as much as was polite without her noticing. He
linked his arm through mine for self-preservation and began to tell the evil
bitch all about me. It was the most animated I’d seen him all day. I hadn’t
realised how much he listened when I spoke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes -what a quaint accent.” She said to me with a sneer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I bit back a laugh. Everyone
hated me in this place and it was usually for the stupidest reasons; my clothes
weren’t right, my nails were short and bitten, I didn’t wear makeup, I didn’t
know who any of these people were, I didn’t watch TV, I liked being pale and
drowned myself in sun screen. I quite liked being unique here. Back home I’d
tried (unsuccessfully) to fit in as much as I could, but here…well I was going
out of my way to be the anti-Hollywood and I bloody loved it. Van also seemed
to, constantly telling me how good it was not to be around a ‘plastic’. This
woman was definitely a plastic. No one’s lips are that size naturally, her
forehead was unmoving despite her expression and her boobs were pretty much
under her chin. That would just irritate me. Who wants two giant things getting
in your way all the time? I’d stick to mine thank you very much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The woman indicated where the interview would take place,
and as it wasn’t being filmed, Van insisted I sit next to him on the couch. She
did not like that one bit, but would do whatever it took to keep him sweet.
Whenever he wasn’t looking she would give me the most hate filled stare that I
felt like moving away for fear of her hurting me. Her glossy red talons raked
her knee, itching to go for my throat no doubt. I would simply smile sweetly as
her as if she were my bestest friend in the whole world. I took out the scripts
Van had given me and began reading so she would think I wasn’t remotely
interested (and so I didn’t have to look at the evil harpy)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well now, this is my first interview where a PA has sat
in.” She said in a perky voice. Why bother veiling comments? Just come out and
be a bitch! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I looked up and smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You should do something new every day or so they say.” Van
said, grinning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was baiting her. He was
actually baiting her! I loved him!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Her smile dissolved on her
face, but she quickly reassembled it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve been cyber stalking you Van and noticed that George…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s Georgiana.” Van said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Go Van, evil bitches don’t get
to shorten my name.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“…that she has been having some problems with your fans. Is
that true?” She placed the tape recorder on the coffee table between us and
smiled. All I could think of were snakes and piranhas when I looked at her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I think it was all a misunderstanding. Iana and I just
work together.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana, what’s your take on it all?” Her voice was
snippish when she addressed me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m just here to work, I’ll stay out of the interview.” I
said, closing the script with a sigh and setting it aside. I didn’t care if I
was being rude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You can’t deny he’s attractive though? Would you like
there to be more between you?” She asked me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I personally think when he fell out of the ugly tree, he
hit every branch on his way down.” I said, biting my lip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van cracked up laughing which
pissed off Miss. Bitch no end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So you would like there to be more between you?” She
continued.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We drove to Vegas last night and got married in one of
those little white chapel things.” I said sarcastically. “I’m more than happy
with things the way they are. Van is wonderful, but he’s my boss. I love my job
and am quite content.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So you didn’t stay at his apartment a few days ago?” She
said, her smile widening. “You were photographed entering in the evening and
leaving with him the next morning.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I sighed deeply.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m his PA, sometimes I’m required to work after hours. We
get on well. His apartment has two rooms. That is all. Surely you’re
interviewing Van, not me. I’m not remotely interesting I’m afraid, I just
organise his schedule and nag him about smoking.” I picked up the script again
and began reading, or at least pretending to, as I could feel her heavy gaze on
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Leave her be.” Van said in a deceptively cool tone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok Van, how do you feel about Georgiana?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Aren’t we supposed to be talking about the new movie?” He
asked, taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his nose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She took that as an admission
of guilt, her painted lips shining in the dull light. She was incredibly
beautiful, but she was also incredibly plastic and very evil. I was worried that
if Van left to use the bathroom, I would be dead when he got back. Though I
supposed I could just mess up her hair, then she’s be whimpering in the corner
rocking back and forth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes, but we’ve had some questions posted on our online
forum. Enquiring minds want to know.” She ran her finger tips along her thigh.
I vomited in my mouth a little.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mac is my PA, we get on well and have the same awful sense
of humour. We spend a lot of time together in a professional capacity and
sometimes she will be staying with me to discuss work and schedules. That’s it.
No girlfriend/boyfriend thing, no wedding, no kids. We done with this now?” He
was clearly losing his patience with her, unable to find her as amusing as I
did. She was oozing desperation, but was going about trying to get his
attention in all the wrong ways. I’d noticed her skirt seemed to be
‘accidentally’ riding up her thigh a little. Yuck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So Van, tell us about your new movie…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was able to tune the rest
out as I’d heard it a couple of times before. Besides, I was utterly engrossed
in the script! It was awesome! He HAD to audition for it! End of the world,
small group of survivors, he would be using a sword! Fuck yeah. He had to poke
me in the arm before I realised he was talking to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sorry, this script is amazing!” I said with a grin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He returned it and I felt a
little warm and fuzzy at how full of affection it was. He may just have been
trying to piss off Miss. Bitch, but I didn’t care. He liked me. He didn’t like
like me, but he liked me. I tried not to laugh out loud at the train of thought
my brain was on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m heading out for a uh…carrot stick.” He said. “Wanna
come?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I rolled my eyes but followed
him out, gathering up the scripts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Miss Bitch watched him go with
longing. Then watched me go with contempt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What a hella bitch!” He said when we got outside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I forced an apple into his
open hand and laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yup. I am probably the most popular girl in Hollywood
right now.” I said brightly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He took a bite from the apple
and rushed to catch the juice dripping down his chin. I could have offered to
lick it off for him, but I didn’t think he would appreciate it somehow. WTF!?!
Seriously! The sun or something was making me crazy! I don’t usually think
things like that!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He looked tired still, weary, but a little happier than
this morning. Baiting bitches was clearly a favourite sport of his and was
becoming one of mine as well. He managed to abstain from smoking, even though I
didn’t say a word about it, settling instead on another bran muffin and
stealing some of my carrot sticks again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You got any plans for your first weekend off since you got
here?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Probably the same as you, slobbing around and reading
these scripts. Seriously, you HAVE to do this one, and even better, look at the
character description!” I found the page and handed it to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van Murphy type. Well, I think I can manage that.” He
said, his cheeks colouring a little. “What’s it about?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“End of the world, but most importantly, you’ll be using a
sword!” I said, hopping from foot to foot happily. I had a thing about swords,
always had. My room back in England had three samurai swords and a replica of
Arwen’s sword from LOTR. I’m a geek. I’m ok with it. I wanted a broadsword, but
thought it a bit excessive for my tiny room, besides, I wouldn’t even be able
to lift it, let alone swing it. I had been caught several times -when my
parents were out- running around the garden swinging a samurai sword against
evil ninjas. Age didn’t stop something being fun as far as I was concerned. I
wasn’t into that whole ‘dress up and fight in the woods’ role play shizzle,
that kinda scared me if I was honest and I didn’t want any witnesses when I
tripped over my blade or fell on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He shook his head and laughed,
the sound shaking the imagery of my neighbours looking out of their windows
with concerned faces as I hacked and slashed at weeds.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So you skipped the story and focused on the sword?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded, biting into another
carrot stick. He was spinning a cigarette around his fingers, but made no
attempt to put it in his mouth. It worked well as a mini baton. Could I add
cheerleading to his almost endless list of talents?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m kidding. The dialogue is intelligent and witty, I’ve
actually heard of the director and dystopia is HUGE right now. Unfortunately
there are no zombies, but you can’t have everything.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok, I’ll take this one and look it over. Let me know about
the others.” He sighed deeply and fussed with his hair. He didn’t want to go
back in there, the interview was not going well it seemed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you want me to kick her ass for you?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Please. There’s just no need to be like that! It’s why I
hate this place.” He slid down the wall and sat, crossing his legs. I followed,
sitting next to him. It was something Miss Bitch would never do. Sitting on the
ground? Like a hobo? Please! She might get dirt on her extortionate skirt!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“One more day to get through.” I said, trying not to smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I checked my phone and saw a
text from Sofia. Everything was planned, I just needed to make sure Van was at
his apartment for 7pm. This was going to rock! I actually couldn’t wait even
though I probably wouldn’t witness any of the cuteness when he saw his son, but
it wasn’t my place to invade on family time. Besides, I was scared of meeting
Sofia. I also wasn’t a ‘child’ person. I didn’t find babies adorable, I didn’t
want any and if I was honest, I found them boring. It vomited? Hardly requires
a round of frenzied applause.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Tomorrow night, make no plans around 6pm. I’m buying the
take out.” I said. “I would offer to cook, but I can’t. I’m commandeering your
flat though or we’ll get yelled at by my neighbours.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded but was beginning to
look like he was falling asleep. I ‘encouraged’ him to drink some water, which
he made a face about the whole time he was drinking it (big kid) and we headed
back inside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The afternoon was… I got a lot
of the scripts read and really enjoyed it. I was one of the first people in the
world to know about these TV series and movies! It was so very cool! But I
divided my time between the paperwork and watching Van wrestle with his
twitchiness. A couple of times I had to interrupt with my own answers to
questions as she was hounding him relentlessly about pointless things. Why did
he drive a truck when he could afford better? Why t shirts and jeans and not
Gucci and Prada? What was his skin care routine? How long did he spend at the
gym? Did he get manicures? Spray tans? Botox? Vanity, thy name is Miss Bitch. I
think he was slightly in awe of the amount of dumb questions she actually
asked. He would be the main feature of the magazine, a six or seven page
spread, but who honestly cared what skin care products he used? I didn’t think
he did. He showered, brushed his teeth and headed out, like men are supposed
to. Don’t get me wrong, if a guy wants to use products, more power to him, but
it shouldn’t be the norm! Women love men for their differences from females. I
do anyway. I liked how ‘normal’ Van was despite being a movie star, model and
ridiculously attractive guy. He let me nag him, call him ‘darling’, ‘honey’ and
even ‘babe’ once. He was so laid back normally, but interviews seemed to set
him on edge. Especially ones like this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok, last question.” She tapped her perfect nails against
her note book and smiled like a snake unhinging its jaw.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Will you be taking Georgiana to the premiere in a couple
of weeks?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I haven’t asked yet, but it was my intention if she wasn’t
busy.” He was managing to be polite and pissed off in the same breath. His eyes
didn’t leave hers and I could see the smile melting from her face. I really,
really wanted to be there when she had one op too many and her face caved in.
Maybe I should make a note of her name for when it happens. Now that was bitchy!
I was not a nice person in Hollywood. I then backtracked to what he had just
said. Me? Premiere? I think not baby puppy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We gathered our things and left far more quickly than was
polite. We stopped to thank the lighting team and the rest of the runners, but
avoided Miss Bitch like the plague.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Van dropped me at my flat, taking my hand as I moved to
leave the car. He squeezed it gently and looked deep into my eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can’t thank you enough for getting me through the last
week. Come to the premiere with me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re just asking because she guilted you into it.
Seriously hon, take someone who can walk in a straight line in heels, doesn’t
look like a drag queen when wearing a dress and can go five minutes without
swearing. It would only end badly, but I am flattered. Really.” God, I would
love to be on his arm, but everything I had just said was true. I really would
fall arse over tit (as the delightful English saying goes) and the whole world
would see it! My parents would be so proud!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You think I’d do anything because that hateful bitch wants
me to? I want you to come with me. I hate these things, I need your sarcasm and
snarky comments to get me through it. Besides, you wanted to see one of my
movies. I’ll take you dress shopping…” He did seem utterly genuine. He had
pretty much the whole female population to choose from, why me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You say that like it would be a selling point. I HATE
clothes shopping.” I squeezed his hand back and slid out of my seat, bending to
meet his gaze again before I closed the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“There are no end of beautiful, smart women who would kill
to be on your arm. And they’re much better behaved.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mac. You’re coming. I’m putting my foot down as your boss
and making this one of your duties.” His expression was comically Machiavellian.
He had me there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You know I love you, but right now, I want to kick you in
the nuts.” I fluttered my eyelids and closed the door, waving at him as he
drove away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">A premiere. A movie premiere
with cameras and tons of people and dresses and actors and models and people
and… I felt ill, genuinely ill. I couldn’t do this. Maybe if I explained about
the anxiety attacks or the way I can make myself agoraphobic at the most
inopportune times… I was the queen of bad excuses. I just needed to find one
that would work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-87523111428735681702012-10-11T02:22:00.000-07:002012-10-11T02:22:08.771-07:00The Morning After
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I woke with a mouthful of
Van’s hair. He was snoring like…well, nothing was comparable to the noise he
was making. My mouth tasted vile, my head hurt and I ached everywhere. I
thought I remembered everything that had happened last night, but I couldn’t be
sure. I eyed up the coffee table suspiciously, my leg throbbing in response. I
would be a big bruised mess no doubt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I got up as carefully as I could to assess the damage. It
was still really early, so I may as well let him sleep while I go die
somewhere. My head pounded out a rhythm any trance producer would be proud of.
I filled a glass with water and downed it, following it with another two,
hoping to wash the alcohol out of my body. I don’t drink! This boy was a bad
effect on me. It didn’t matter that he was older than me, he was still a boy as
far as I was concerned with his ‘Booyahs’, ‘dopes’ and ‘awesomes’, along with
the t shirts he wore that were inappropriate for just about every situation
(swearwords on most of them) and his one finger salute which I’m sure he
probably even used on his mum…yup, he was a boy in a man’s skin. It was just
one of a myriad of reasons that I adored him. The ‘making me drink’ thing was
on the cons list. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I looked through the fridge and cupboard to see what I
could fix him for breakfast, but it was pretty pitiful. Sadder than my
cupboards in fact and that was saying something because my freezer compartment
on the fridge is bust. I found the most random things that wouldn’t work no
matter what I tried. Hmmm….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was such a shock to my
system to meet a ‘building attendant’ who wasn’t a complete bastard! When I
went down to the lobby to see if there was a shop locally, the guy couldn’t
have been more helpful. He even offered to draw me a map (had he been warned
about my useless sense of direction?) but I thought I could cope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The sun was ever present and shining so brightly, my
headache was soon forgotten and I was grinning like a fool. I doubted I’d ever
get sick of that sight; unending blue skies and very few clouds, and the sun!
The actual sun! I sighed happily and almost skipped to the shop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I grabbed all kinds of things,
not sure what he liked; fruit juices, croissants, muffins, bread for toast, a
grapefruit and a couple of boxes of cereal. I also grabbed coffee, milk, sugar,
tea, some apples, bananas and Oreos (everyone loves Oreos) as his cupboards
were so bare.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Another thing in America that
I don’t get is the stupid paper bags. They don’t have handles. How is that any
use? In England, you can carry like twenty bags because they have handles.
Here, I was struggling with two. How in the hell did people open doors? I was
also stung by the ‘tax’ thing when I got to the till. That I would never get
used to. Yuck, yuck, yuck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I rushed back upstairs and let myself into the flat (I’d
stolen the key mwahahahahahaha!) and put some coffee on for him, even
impressing myself with working out the machine thingy that he had.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I cut the grapefruits, heated
the croissants, put all the other bits away and set the table. When that was
all done, I debated on how best to wake him. Was I kind or evil? He deserved
evil as revenge for the god awful headache, but my stupid heart was all swollen
with love for him and other vomit inducing crap, so I gently shook his
shoulder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hey you.” I said, placing the coffee on the evil coffee
table.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He groaned, rubbing his eyes
over and over as though he couldn’t really believe he was actually awake. He
stretched, yawned and tried to sit up. It was slightly pathetic, so I took his
arm and yanked it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thanks.” He said as I handed him the coffee. At least I
knew how he liked it, but I couldn’t<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>be
sure I’d made it very well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I got breakfast, but I don’t know what you eat so I got
bits of everything.” I said feeling slightly pleased with myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He blinked several times,
rubbed his eyes again and sipped the coffee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not bad.” He said, looking exhausted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I could only imagine how I
looked, I hadn’t showered or anything yet. I’d have to be careful not to
breathe on him as if my breath was anywhere near as bad as my mouth
tasted…well, he’d be running.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The croissants were attacked
with the enthusiasm of a half-starved man, though it was a purely mechanical
action. He didn’t seem to be completely awake yet. I snagged an apple and bit
into it, sipping the tea I’d made. Heh heh there was soya milk in his fridge
heh heh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t suppose you got cigs while you were out?” He
asked, his eyes pleading.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Like hell I did.” I said with a laugh. “You want cancer,
you feed it yourself. It’s my job to look after you and that includes your
health. By the way, what is going on with the empty cupboards?” I was feeling
brave, solely because he was too tired and out of it to tear me a new one, not
that I thought he would. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was the Zen master. Nothing
seemed to bother him, apart from that whole ‘death threat’ thing yesterday.
Just thinking about it made my stomach knot up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes mom.” He said, ripping another croissant apart and
popping a bit in his mouth. He chewed slowly as he considered what I had said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I want you to know that…I like that you’re not afraid to
tell me when you’re pissed off, or when you need to tear me a new one. I don’t
want this to be a boss/employee relationship in the usual sense. That’s not
remotely me. I’d rather we were…friends?” He said doubting himself now that the
words had left his mouth. “You were such a shy little thing when we met, what
happened?” He laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t want you to get sick and you don’t look after
yourself properly. You have a son. You owe it to him to be sensible with your wellbeing.”
I bit into the apple again, almost bracing myself for the moment where I pushed
him too far and he fired my ass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are all English women as scary as you?” He asked, snarfing
the rest of the pastry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They’re worse. I’m behaving at the moment so you better
look after yourself. I don’t care what movies you’ve been in, I will kick your
ass if I have to. You’re the only friend I have out here and I’m damned if I’m
letting anything happen to you.” I hid behind the mug, sipping the tea slowly
so I didn’t have to look at him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">That’s it girly, tell him too
much, why not propose while you’re at it? That would be a great way to start the
day!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you mind if I take a shower?” I asked, keeping my
distance from him due to how disgusting I felt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded, chewing, and
pointed the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">OMG his shower is the best thing
in the whole world. The one in my apartment is weaker than spring rain, but
this…wow. I could actually wash all the shampoo out without using the sink! And
I felt cleaner than I had since I’d got to this country. I felt so good! And my
headache was easing too. Once my teeth were clean, I felt almost human. I just
needed to hurry him along a little or we’d be late.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You didn’t need to buy me food.” He said, looking a little
misty eyed as he looked through the cupboards. “That’s really sweet Iana.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“If you die, I have to find another job.” I said, biting my
lip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He snorted back a laugh and
headed for the bathroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I did the washing up whilst he
was in there, tidying up the breakfast bits and ensuring all my junk was packed
up for us to leave. We had a photo shoot today that would most likely take
several hours. I would need to find a coffee shop nearby to keep him dosed up
and somewhere to buy real food for lunch. He had a habit of skipping meals, and
regardless of whether that’s what ‘Hollywood’ did or not, I wasn’t going to
accept it. The bitch was back (though I’d never been one for her to leave if I
was honest) maybe I was being a Tiger mother like in the books I’d seen. The
fierce women who ensured their kids were on the straight and narrow. Sometimes
he was so childlike I felt the need to protect him, and other times he seemed
so much older than me, closer to my parents’ age than my own. Once everything
was tidy, I didn’t know what to do with myself. My hands were twitchy and I
felt useless if I didn’t keep busy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He appeared looking too perfect to be true, practically
sparkling with how clean and shiny he was. His hair was still wet and tendrils
of it curled aga<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">forehead making him look
really young again. I just wanted to…I don’t even know. Look after him? Kiss
him? Pinch his cheeks? Kick his ass for not looking after himself?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I checked the time and hurried him out the door, bagging up
the fruit and croissants for him to eat later. I was turning into such a little
house wife mother hen type. Urgh! Vom!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The photo shoot was taking
place in an empty warehouse -the kind that usually graces every horror movie in
the last twenty years- but in the blazing sun, it looked half passable. The
crew was already there, setting up lighting and cameras. I was so excited! This
was the first ‘proper’ photo shoot I’d been on, and I had to be careful to stay
out of the way. The last one had been tiny in comparison to this, there were so
many people here! Van had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, but he hadn’t
lit it yet, watching me like I might snatch it out of his mouth. He’d been so
good I couldn’t really begrudge him, besides, he could just fire me! I think he
was forgetting that he was the boss in this relationship. Urgh, just using the
word ‘relationship’ about us made my heart do little flips. Urgh, urgh, urgh. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The photographer greeted us both, steering Van away to the
wardrobe section, showing him what they would be doing. Was I supposed to
follow? Crap. Van caught my eye and inclined his head for me to join them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What do you think?” He held up two suits, both of which
wouldn’t suit Van one jot. Was I allowed to say that? I looked at the rest of
the rack and saw a couple that might do better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m not going to claim to have a clue, but I think he’d
look amazing in one of these two. Those ones will wash him out with his
colouring.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The photographer arched an
arrogant brow, puffing himself up as though about to launch into a rant before
he saw Van nodding in agreement with me. He let out a deep sigh and plastered
on the fakest smile I’d seen, and I worked in Hollywood now. It seemed real
enough when he looked at Van, but it turned to a sneer when he met my eye. I
twisted a strand of hair around my finger and tried to look ditzy and
unthreatening. He took the suits and left to talk to one of the lighting
people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank god you said something. They were awful!” He said,
laughing and lighting the fag.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They really were! My half blind grandfather wouldn’t have
been caught dead in either of those. Everything about them was wrong, the cut,
the colour, the style.” I cringed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van laughed happily, glad to
have someone on his side. I was a timid little mouse of a thing usually, but
his faith in me was giving me a voice. I had no clue about fashion, but I knew
Van and having spent entirely too long staring longingly at him, I knew what
suited him and what didn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The photographer came back, his smile a little more
convincing now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good choice on the suits, I’m inclined to agree with you
now.” He admitted. The smile widened and grew warmer. I returned it, feeling
like a bunny in headlights.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“She’s the best in the business.” Van said, his face
completely serious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I snorted back hysterical
laughter, covering it with a coughing fit. He was so full of shit sometimes,
but I loved him for it. I really hoped he didn’t genuinely think I was of any
use because he was seriously disillusioned if he did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok, Mr. Murphy, would you mind going and popping one of
these on. I’ll talk to Ms. MacManus about other options.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van nodded and headed off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“If you ever, ever, show me up like that again, I will
ensure that you never work in Hollywood again.” The photographer had my wrist
in his hand and was squeezing it so tightly I cried out. What the hell!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I remembered one thing from self-defense
class at school. Just one thing. If someone grabs you, twist under their arm
and pin it to their back. It was instinct. I might usually be shy and scared of
my own shadow, I might be weak and mentally unstable, I might also be the most
fucked up person in Hollywood (and that was saying something) but no one
touches me. I pushed him to the wall, almost having blacked out whilst doing
it. I had no recollection, just the adrenaline kicking in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“If you ever, ever touch me again, I will break your arm
and you won’t be able to take photos, then you won’t ever work in Hollywood
again.” My mouth was at his ear, shaking with panic and fear, though it sounded
like barely contained rage. “I’m not fucking kidding.” I pushed him further
into the wall and let go, walking away calmly and smiling at the crew I passed.
No one had seen that thankfully, and I doubted my ‘new friend’ would be
telling. Beaten by a skinny little thing like me? No, he’d take it to the
grave. As would I. I couldn’t tell Van, it would sour the shoot or get it
cancelled, and I couldn’t do that. Besides, I was utterly elated at my little
ass kicking routine. Maybe I wasn’t as weak as I had always thought. Maybe I
was worth something after all? Meh, we’d see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Van stepped out of the changing room like he was on a
catwalk. The suit was a perfect fit. A little too perfect from the back if you
know what I mean. I had a Vietnam style flashback of me throwing myself down on
that ass last night when I was drunk. I bit back a smile, but it was hard. I
really hoped he didn’t remember that, or me falling asleep on him. Or any of it
if I’m honest. Bad times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He had somehow managed to
dress himself whilst still smoking. An impressive, if useless skill.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What do you think?” He asked, turning in front of me self-consciously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Perfect.” I said unable to manage anymore. “It looks
amazing on you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He began to preen in front of
the long mirror they’d rested against the wall, fussing over imaginary fluff and
straightening thing that were fine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Seriously Van, you look great, don’t worry so much.” I
adjusted the black tie and pressed the collar back down around it. Any excuse
to be touching him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The camera man called him over
then, his eyes narrowing when they fell on me. Van missed it thankfully. I
simply fluttered my eyelids at him and blew a kiss. What a complete bitch I was
today! Maybe I still had some alcohol in my system, because this was not me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The second the camera was pointed at him, Van was like a
man transformed. He stood straighter, shoulders back, chin held high. It was
crazy that he became this professional, confident creature when the job needed
it. He posed in all the ways they asked for, then posed some of his own, each
straight from the pages of a glossy mag. He was a natural. I could see why all
the fashion houses wanted him; graceful, beautiful, poised and oozing charisma
through the lens…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The morning dragged. Van was
growing restless, but was always perfect when the camera started snapping. I
ran back and forth to the coffee shop I had found, and forced him to eat an
apple and croissant, threatening him with violence if he didn’t eat more later.
He laughed happily, giving me a warm, affectionate smile that melted me
entirely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The other outfits they had
chosen were equally vile, and Van called me over to save him again. He must be
desperate as I was grasping at straws. I agreed with what he suggested and
picked out a couple of things that I knew I would want to see him in if I were
a rabid fan girl. (if?) I chatted politely to the lighting crew when they
weren’t working and found I was getting better at small talk. They all thought
my accent was ‘too cute’ and asked a thousand questions about the royal family
like they thought we were on first name terms. It was fun though and passed the
time. Van grew more weary as the hours passed. Of course he was perfect, but it
was evident to me that he hated it. He was an actor -that was his love. This
was an unfortunate side effect he had to endure as part and parcel. I plied him
with muffins and caffeine and told him embarrassing stories of when I was at
school. It was so easy with him now, I just opened my mouth and was able to
form complete and coherent sentences which had been impossible when we first
met.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He seemed a little happier when we’d been chatting,
distracted enough to endure a couple more hours. What a long day for him! And
it was repetitive and dull work; turn your head, click, to the left, click,
head back, click. He was a brave man to put up with it, because I would have
thrown a strop and flounced off the set by now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He’d gone the whole day on two
cigs and I was incredibly proud of him, and told him as much. He gave me a
lopsided smile that was shy and proud in equal parts. So damned cute.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was dark by the time we were done, and he was barely
conscious, yawning and stretching to stay awake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Come on you, let’s get you home.” I said, handing him yet
another coffee as we got to his truck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded, unable to manage
anymore. Poor boy. He looked completely disheartened and fed up, unable to
muster even the enthusiasm to flip the radio on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He dropped me home and the
journey passed in silence. What could I do to cheer him up? I’d never been
happier in my life, but the one who made me that way was morose and depressed.
I needed to fix this, but how?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-25528137145668617202012-10-10T00:43:00.001-07:002012-10-10T00:43:21.573-07:00Death threats are all in a day's work
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So Iana, you got a twitter account? Facebook etc. etc. ad
infinitum?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van was on his third cigarette
and fourth coffee of the day and it wasn’t even 10am. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Was I allowed to comment on
that? He was my boss, but surely as a PA I’m allowed to show concern? He
chatted to me like a friend - or was I just reading too much into it? Was I
seeing that because it was what I wanted? He was so friendly with everyone, so
maybe I was. Would it be unprofessional to be friends, after all, I was
currently the epitome of unprofessional. I was still getting along by the skin
of my teeth or some other equally disgusting phrase.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Uh yeah, I don’t really use them though. No internet
access in my building believe it or not, but then I don’t suppose meth dealers
would set up a website announcing what they do.” I was nomming on carrot
sticks. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’m probably the only girl in
Hollywood that eats them because I like them and not because I’m on a diet. I
offered the box to Van and he took a couple, crunching away happily. He really
didn’t look after himself properly as I was sure cigarettes and coffee weren’t
in any food group I’d been taught about at school. He stole another handful of
my sticks and asked me to text him my user names. Uh oh, this could end badly.
I couldn’t remember what was on my profiles or what photos I’d used, what
quotes, what rants I’d previously posted… Oh well, he had met me after all, he
must be starting to notice the crazy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He held up his phone and pointed it at me. I gave his usual
one fingered salute with one hand, holding a carrot stick like a cigarette in
the other. All I needed was the cute beauty spot near his lip, a sex change,
extensive surgery and I could be him. Kinda. Not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So how many interviews today and who with?” He asked
stubbing out the fag and pulling out another one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I yanked it out of his mouth
and replaced it with a carrot stick.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Five. Three with women’s mags, one with a movie review
show and the last with a men’s magazine.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You almost sounded like an actual PA then Mac, I’m
impressed.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I stuck my tongue out at him
and shook my head. He alternated between Iana and Mac at the moment, no doubt
next week I’d be George again. I found it flattering that he had nicknames for
me, but again I was probably reading too much into it. He had this way of
making people so comfortable around him that I sometimes almost forgot to be
nervous or self-conscious. I didn’t think I’d ever had this kind of easy banter
with anyone in my life. It was unreal. The weird thing that struck me was how
shy he could be. Interviews made him uncomfortable, and my usually articulate
boss tended to be at a loss for words. He would chew on his fingers, twitch a
little and cross and uncross his legs. His eyes would often meet mine as though
asking for help, and occasionally I would gesture something that he could talk
about. My ‘charades’ were often undecipherable and would lead to him cracking
up mid-sentence, but at least it would loosen him up a little. He said
cigarettes and coffee helped him relax, so I could only imagine what he was
like when he had neither. Caffeine was surely the worst thing for a twitchy
person to have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He was successful, incredibly talented, beautiful, sweet,
and yet shy. I knew that acting was a completely different thing to doing
interviews because the words were provided for you. I found it endearing and
did everything I could to bolster his confidence, or discuss thing beforehand
that he could mention. He was coming to rely on me and I loved it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That picture is going on Twitter. My followers love candid
shots.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, of you! Why would they want to see me?” I laughed,
snagging another cigarette from between his lips and putting it back in the box
which I placed back in his pocket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Cause you’re so damn cute!” He said, squidging my cheek
between his thumb and finger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Let me take one of you for the fan girls.” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Those fan girls would go for
my throats if they could see how much time I spent with him. They loathed any
female that even looked at him. I had no doubt they would be letting their
opinion of me be felt as soon as my existence was discovered. A PA? Why would
he need that when he has a thousand, million fan girls who want to have his babies
and worship at his feet? Ok, I wanted to worship at his feet too, but that was
neither here nor there. Or was in fact both here and there. I was in danger of
falling hard and there would be no soft or easy landing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He handed me the camera,
looking self-conscious. The man had modeled for the biggest fashion houses in
the world! What was this about? I supposed that was easier in the sense that
they dressed him and dictated what he should do. I really needed to get the
internet sorted so I could look up more of his previous work, solely for
researching my job of course. Even I wasn’t convinced by that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Strike a pose.” I said, snapping several shots of him
goofing around. My photography skills were lacking, but a couple of them were
pretty good. He looked gorgeous regardless though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Tagging you as the camera man…I mean girl.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I threw a carrot stick at him
and checked the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We should be heading in. This magazine is focused mostly
on affordable fashions so mentioning Prada or Gucci probably won’t be popular,
think more mid-range stores. They have also run campaigns on banning
airbrushing, so it might be worth discussing your view on that as they’ll snap
it up. They’ll be using stock photos so you don’t have to worry too much about
many being taken though they’ll want a couple of ‘natural’ ones of you chatting
etc.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What would I do without you?” His voice was an affection
purr. I melted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not be constantly embarrassed, late, shown up or
humiliated by my inability.” I grinned, fluttered my eyelashes and held the
door for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had almost sounded like a PA
then. I was learning and even finding myself enjoying it. I had a job that
challenged me, the company of this radiant creature that most females lusted
after and most men wanted as a drinking buddy, I was keeping busy and didn’t
have much room to think. I couldn’t really ask much more from a career, though
going back to that shit hole at the end of the day always put a dampener on
things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Dinner, my place tonight. We’ll get take out as I’m pretty
sure I don’t have anything you can eat. You like Chinese?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Will they come in those little white boxes?” I was getting
very excited. I’d seen them on TV a hundred times, but back home Chinese food
came in foil container, not remotely exciting or cute.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yup. I won’t accept no for an answer so once we’re done
for the day I’ll drive us back to mine. Awesome, that was easy.” He said not giving
me room to get a word in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had been preparing a
thousand reasons why I couldn’t, starting with; ‘I’m disgusting and sweaty, I
feel gross, look gross and am seriously freaked out about the idea of being in
your home.’ Ok, it wasn’t his home, it was just a rented place for Pilot
Season, but it was still somewhere that he lived in. New York was his stomping
ground and I could only hope that there would be a place for me there when he
left Hollywood. Hell, I’d follow him anywhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The interviews dragged and I
could tell he was getting twitchy. I fed his caffeine habit by running to the
coffee shop around the corner, but refused to buy him cigarettes when he ran
out. He didn’t seem as mad about it as I had thought he would. I sweetened him
up with a couple of cupcakes with sprinkles and sugar paper flowers. He laughed
using the icing to stick one of the flowers to the tip of his nose. The
interviewer’s photographer caught it and was snapping away like a mad man.
Oops. He would not be happy with that being in print no doubt, but from what
I’ve heard, magazines loved making him do weird photo shoots. I’d heard tales
of one involving a wedding dress and another a bathtub and make up case. They
were first on the list when I got internet access, that and getting a list of
everything he’d been in so I could get copies to watch. It would be weird
seeing him work in that capacity, as so far it had mostly been interviews and
photo shoots. Would he want me around when he’s filming? I’d love to be on a
set and see how it works, but there was the fear that I’d sneeze and ruin a
take or something equally awful. If I did, he’d probably laugh it off, but I
doubted the director and crew would. They’d probably have my head. I’d heard
the horror stories about the psychos that worked in the film and TV industry
and the screaming fits when things went wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wasn’t remotely brave or confident, but the thought of
someone shouting at Van made my hackles rise. I’d always had this stupid thing
where I was a complete coward unless someone was in trouble, then I had these
crazy reserves of balls or guts, or whatever you want to call it, and I turn
into a mouthy cow. I like to think I’m a pretty loyal friend and will do
whatever I have to for them…but then I don’t actually have any so it’s not a
problem. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The last interview was
wrapping up when the interviewer handed Van her card with a smile, a hair flick
and a hand trailing down her neck to her cleavage. He barely even looked, but
thanked her politely, shaking her hand and excusing himself. He is so awesome.
She couldn’t hide her disappointment, and I quite honestly wanted to go over to
her and say ‘Booyah!’ or something equally childish. I restrained myself and
settled for doing it in my head instead. The photographer seemed quite happy to
step in and comfort her. Ew.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My truck’s round the back, let’s go.” Van said, offering
me his arm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">How old school Austen. I took
it gladly and shook my head at him, laughing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We need to stop off for some ciga…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No we don’t.” I said, dragging him in the direction of his
car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He rolled his eyes and smiled.
Since meeting me, he must at least have cut down on the amount he smoked. That
had to be of some benefit to his health? Maybe hypnotherapy would help him
quit? He had mentioned previously that he was worried about leaving his son
fatherless to Cancer. Maybe I could look up some local ones for him? It was a
plan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His car was completely him. The Ford pickup truck that did
not fit in with the Porches and Mercs that were parked around it. I loved it.
Big, black, different and very cool, a little beaten up, but it had character.
I had to use the little step thing to get into it, but I couldn’t wipe the grin
from my face for the whole journey back to his.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Of course he’d given me his
address when I’d taken the job, but I’d never been there. I honestly wouldn’t
even have known where to start because my new neighbourhood was a maze I hadn’t
worked out yet, so trying to go outside of it was a bad idea. Nowhere was
within walking distance here and that freaked me out. In my hometown,
everything was (not that people walked much) or what I classed as walking
distance. I thought nothing of walking for thirty minutes or an hour to get
somewhere. It was good exercise and cheap. I couldn’t have afforded to run a
car even if I’d wanted to, which I didn’t. Driving didn’t come naturally to me
and I used to come out of lessons drenched in fear sweat. I had two perfectly
good legs and I had every intention of using them to their full. Here was a completely
different story though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The area he lived in was the polar opposite of mine. No one
shouted or screamed, cars kept to the speed limits, were all brand new and all
the people were immaculate and polite to each other. There were no fist fights
or violence that I could see. I realised that that was weird to me now. That
awful place I lived in was becoming normal. Not good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He parked and waited for me to
climb out. I was feeling very short in that car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He struggled to take smaller
steps to account for my short legs, grinning to himself at how quickly I had to
walk to keep up. His Raybans hid the laughter in his eyes, but it was obvious
from the way he would cough to cover it up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dinner came in white boxes. I was way too excited about it
and couldn’t have cared less about the food in them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Can I keep one to send to my mum?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Jack Daniels came out of his
nose he was laughing so hard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re so damned cute.” He said, reaching for napkins and
wiping the table and his T-shirt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I felt a bit like I was sat in
the splash zone of a whale demonstration. No doubt there were girls out there
who would love him to spray drinks out of his nose over them, but not me
surprisingly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sorry.” He said, handing me a wad of tissue. “You say ‘mum’.”
He laughed again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I think what you fail to understand is that you supposedly
speak English, which means I am the higher authority in everything related to
the language. Don’t get me started on faucets. What the hell is that? It’s a
tap!” I said, wiping my face and trying not to laugh at his expression. I would
reign in the US rants if I could, he didn’t need to see all the crazy at once.
I’d let it out a bit at a time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was so relaxed it was like
being with a different person. I’d seen moments of it, but this was him in his
environment, comfortable not to have to perform for anyone. I loved that he
could be like that with me. God damn it I was falling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“While you’re here and due to the sucky place you live, did
you want to check your email?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That would be great thank you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He lead me over to his laptop
and started it up, returning to the table to clear away the remains. He left
the cleanest looking box out for me, grinning to himself as he did. He was
adorable when he didn’t think anyone was watching.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What a surprise! No emails apart from ones asking if I want
to enlarge my penis, send someone in Africa a lot of money, or telling me that
there were singles in the area that wanted to meet me. I reeled off a quick
message to my mum, telling her about the takeaway boxes, before switching over
to Twitter. I haven’t been on here much since I set up the account as I just
didn’t really get it. Who wants to hear me say ‘I ate toast’ etc. all through
the day. Sure it was useful for people like Van who could quickly let people
know what was going on, but for us normal folk, it was redundant. That being
said…I had 500 messages. Weird. Did you get penis enlargement tweets? Oh…I see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘@my username STAY AWAY FROM HIM! HE’S MINE YOU FUCKING
BITCH!’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘@my username GO FUCKING DIE WHORE!’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘@my username You think you’re so cute don’t you, but he
doesn’t want you! Go die.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘@my username FUKKIN BITHC UGLY FREEK!’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Spelling clearly wasn’t some
of their strong points. They continued on in this vane for pages. Awesome.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was staring at the screen
open mouthed when Van appeared behind me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have a fan club.” I said, tilting the screen so he could
see.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What the fuck?” He breathed, his eyes scanning the
messages before he cursed several more times. “Wow. That is…” He blinked as I
had done, unsure of what to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">If he was speechless, I was
practically brain dead. My head could not fathom this hatred from a couple of
photos he had posted earlier. I clicked on his profile and looked at the
comments under the photos. He’d tagged me as the photographer in his and tagged
me in the one of me obviously. The venom and hatred was startling, even though
they were just words from people I had never met and probably never would. What
had I done to them? Nothing! That’s what! How could people be like this? Oh
yes, it’s because they can hide behind a computer screen. Maybe that was
better, I couldn’t handle people screaming stuff at me in the street. As I read
down the comments I felt physically sick and the vile insults about how ugly I
was, what a whore, how I wasn’t good enough, how I was a disgusting piece of
shit…it went on and on for pages. They’d been careful not to do it on his
profile, but mine was on the verge of crashing from the sheer volume.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Jesus.” Van mumbled, reaching past me to scroll down the
page.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The one, tiny mercy from this
(and I thought I might vomit with anxiety from it) was the way Van’s head was
an inch above my shoulder, his arm by mine as he used the mouse. So close! But
no cigar it would seem.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His face was growing redder
the further down he went, his mouth moving as he read each one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I…I…” He stood up and shook his head in shock. “What is
wrong with people!” He was blinking rapidly as I had done, as though that would
erase what my eyes had just seen. I guess I wouldn’t be sleeping tonight, not
after complete strangers had been screaming out my insecurities over the world
wide web. I was famous and not for any good reasons. I was a hate figure. Pedophiles
and rapists probably got less abuse. I was dumbfounded that people would get so
angry over a couple of innocent photos. I mean what would they have done if I
really was his girlfriend like they thought? I’d probably wake up with a horse
head in my bed or with some psycho hiding in my cupboard. I should be pretty
safe though, anyone that came to get me would have to go through my
neighbourhood. For the first time I was slightly pleased to live there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is disgusting!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had never seen Van anywhere
near anger, but he was livid! Pacing around the room like an angry bull, there
was practically smoke coming out of his ears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Scoot. I’m going to address this.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I got up with a sigh, hoping
he wasn’t going to make things difficult for himself. If he lost fans because
of me, that could affect his whole career. I didn’t want to be inadvertently
responsible for that and it kinda went against the whole PA thing. I was
supposed to make his life easier, not more messy and complex. He was typing
away madly for a few minutes, before opening another page and doing the same
there, then on to a third, a fourth….He had a lot of pages.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hopefully that should put an end to it.” He said chewing
on his nail.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It made me smile to see that
gesture, he was clearly worried about this and that made me feel a little
better. My anxiety was justified in this case. I didn’t think any of these
people would actually hunt me down, but it was still unsettling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re staying here tonight, just in case.” He said,
tapping his fingers on the desk irritably.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll be fine Van, they won’t get past my neighbours.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not risking it. As offensive as this might sound, you
might actually fit into Luke’s clothes and I have a few of his things here from
when he last stayed.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Your 12 year old son’s clothes…” My mouth gaped. I already
had the body of a pre-adolescent boy, now I would be dressing like one. Today
was completely schizophrenic. I had been blissfully happy less than ten minutes
ago, now I was seriously freaked out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was hiding his mouth behind
his hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Seriously, I’ll be fine. I’m not wearing your poor son’s
clothes. So you think I’m build like a twelve year old boy? That’s more
offensive than the stuff I just read on there!” I crossed my arms across my
chest and tried to look annoyed, but his smile was so disarming that I was
giggling like an idiot after a couple of minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll drive you to yours to grab some things and we’ll come
back. We’ll watch bad horror movies and eat junk. Just what we both need after
that painfully long day.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We were both slumped on the
sofa channel surfing, chatting about nothing of consequence. I’d been given the
spare room that his son used when he stayed, but the whole apartment was sparse
of personal items. I supposed it was because he wasn’t staying, but it looked
like a hotel room with its generic watercolours and lack of photos and personal
artifacts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok, let’s play ‘I have never‘ “ I said as he poured
himself another JD. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The boy had a drinking problem
by the looks of things, along with a caffeine addiction and being a nicotine
whore, not that I’d say that to his face mind, it didn’t seem to be
professional. But was sitting on his couch drinking JD professional? I think
not. This was the most rock and roll I’d probably ever been in my life. I
hadn’t even tasted JD before now. It was vile! But it does seem to be a ‘man’s’
drink. My drink of choice was Diet Coke with Vanilla, but they’d stopped making
that in England, so I was still in mourning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s that?” He asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok, it’s easy. The forfeit is a shot. You have to say; ‘I
have never…followed by something you’ve never done, but you think the other
person has so they lose.” I grinned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">This was going to be sooooooo
easy. I didn’t have a life so wouldn’t have done any of the things he came up
with, whereas I could say things like; ‘I’ve never had a son’, ‘been in a
movie’ etc. Heh heh. He was going to be wasted before the hour was out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok. I don’t think you can handle JD though. I have white
wine…” He walked to the kitchen part and grabbed a glass and a bottle of white
wine. It was probably some wildly expensive one, not that I could tell the
difference between the cheap stuff and the extortionate. I remember once being
invited to a wine tasting evening with my parents (they had a more impressive
social life than I did.) and I would sip, swirl, spit and not have a word to
say about any of them, smiling politely as I thought how disgusting they all
were. Blergh. Give me apple juice any day. Wine is just not worth the expense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ladies first.” He said, pouring a glass of JD and one of
wine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ok. I have never modeled.” I said with an evil grin,
clapping my hands like a plank and doing my ‘evil genius’ laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He shook his head and downed
the contents of his glass. He refilled it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have never….” He looked skyward in thought. “…been a
girl.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How do you know?” I asked in all seriousness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What?” He frowned at me in confusion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t you believe in reincarnation?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But it’s impossible to prove either way, so we’ll stick to
this lifetime shall we?” He pushed the wine towards me. I knocked it back and
refilled it. Blergh, it was gross, but I hoped the more I drank, the less I
would be able to taste it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have never been in a movie.” I said with a raised
eyebrow. I was so going to win. When he was completely sloshed, I was going to
film it and blackmail him with it tomorrow. Mwahahahahahahahahahha!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Touché.” He said, drinking and refilling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It went on like this until
everything began to sway and I could hear myself slurring. Not good. I was bad
enough at my job as it was without having an awful hangover tomorrow. This was
so, so bad! Crap! I needed to end this and distract him with something else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">After a delightful ‘I have
never had a period’ I had to call time on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But it’s fun!” He said, clearly not remotely affected by
the alcohol even though he must have gone through half the bottle of JD.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m no use to you on a good day, being hung over is going
to make <i>your</i> life more difficult.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“More amusing more like.” He stuck his tongue out and
refilled my glass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fine, last ones because I physically cannot put any more
liquid in my body.” I said, barely coherent to myself, so I could only imagine
what he was hearing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have never…” What could I do that was as awful as the
period one? I was no good at being gross. “I have never…had a threesome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He didn’t drink. I was
relieved if I was honest, the thought creeped me out a little. I liked to think
that he was this little virginal boy who didn’t really smoke or drink and
hadn’t been with a supermodel and slept with god knows how many women. It
wasn’t an image that anyone could live up to, so placing it on his shoulders
was unfair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have never…” He sucked on his teeth, looking around for
inspiration. “been a Vegan.” He said, copying my evil laugh, but his was
brilliant, mine was pretty pathetic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I rolled my eyes and drank. He
filled it again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No more!” I said laughing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Your turn.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have never taken drugs.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He didn’t drink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have never paid for sex.” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He didn’t drink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have never broken the law.” I hedged.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He didn’t drink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have never um…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“If you want to know this stuff, why not just ask? We’re
both tipsy enough for it to be easy.” His eyes were swimming a little, but nowhere
near as badly as I’m sure mine were. The whole room was rotating on a
constantly shifting axis and I leaned back against the sofa like it might fix
things. It didn’t, but having something solid under me helped a little.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I looked up at the ceiling as
it was plain and looked less like it was moving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Can we watch one of your movies?” I asked, getting
excited. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I got to my feet, jumped up
and down clapping my hands and fell over the coffee table. He made to rush over
and help me up, but it was pretty sad to watch as he lurched and stumbled. I
was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe, my leg somehow tangled up in the
workings of the wooden legs to the point where I would be stuck here until
morning. It was moving, how was I supposed to escape from a moving object? I
found shaking my head from side to side really quickly was hilarious, so lay on
the floor doing that whilst Van tried to work out how to use his legs again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You think I have my movies? Nope.” He used the table as a
crutch, pulling himself over to where I was and saving me from the demonic,
flesh eating coffee table. It just made me laugh all the more, rolling back and
forth on the floor and giggling like I was unhinged.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I crawled under the coffee
table and curled up into a ball, suddenly feeling really tired and like I
wanted to hide. I was a hedgehog under here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He mumbled something
incoherent and grabbed my leg, yanking me out from where I was hiding.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“ZOMBIES! This calls for ZOMBIES!” He yelled, falling over
his feet. He crawled over to the TV and rooted through the drawer underneath.
Watching him trying to stay balanced was also the funniest thing in the world
and I was hysterical again. I found my phone and tried to film, but I was
leaning to the side, but not by choice. I think I got some great shots of the
carpet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He put a DVD on and pulled me
to my feet, helping me to the sofa before he fell over the back of it, laughing
his ass off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I need a cigarette.” He said, snorting with laughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I yelled, thinking I would
never get away with making this much noise back in my own flat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His head appeared above the
back of the sofa, his hair in disarray and his eyes bleary. So cute. He threw
himself over the back and collapsed in a heap on the seat, taking up the whole
couch. I decided I’d sit on his ass as he was face down. I doubted it would be
comfortable on account of how ridiculously toned it was, but there we are. I
plonked myself down and he let out an <i>oof. </i>I was on the verge of falling
asleep, my eyes rolling back in my skull and the lids closing of their own
accord. I lay down on top of Van, not even thinking how inappropriate or
uncomfortable it must be for him. He made a weird growling noise that was
muffled by the cushions and turned himself over in one swift move. I was now
face to face with him, but couldn’t enjoy it as I was asleep as soon as I </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">realised</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-21141425738284026572012-10-09T01:02:00.000-07:002012-10-09T01:02:21.583-07:00Driver
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The car was there bright and
early the next morning. I’d been too wired to sleep properly so had seen it
pulling into the street, though I’d been ready to go for about an hour. This
was the best time of day in this building as everyone was asleep. They weren’t
morning people from what I could tell which suited me down to the ground. The
quiet was bliss, there was no shouting, no screaming, no god awful trance music
or pulsing baselines…Even the streets were free of gun shots and verbal abuse.
I let out a deep sigh of relief and stepped out into the warmth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The car was an immaculate, sleek, black thing that couldn’t
have looked more out of place if it tried. I had no idea of model or make, but
it was gorgeous and looked expensive with its tinted windows and suited driver.
He got out and opened the door for me, leaving me feeling severely underdressed
in my cheap ass shirt and trousers. They were the smartest I had, but paled in
comparison to the driver in his white gloves and black hat. Urgh, even drivers
make me feel crap and he probably didn’t get paid much more than I did! This
was too much for me, having someone drive me places! I tried to make
conversation with the driver, but he seemed to be the strong, silent type,
nodding and keeping things brief and curt. Awesome. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The journey took over half an hour, so I wouldn’t have
been able to walk it, much less even find it. Van was slouched in the bed of
his truck again, looking casual in his worn jeans and tee. I couldn’t make out
the design, but it probably involved the ‘F’ word as that seemed to be his
favourite (mine too! Nothing relieves stress better than letting loose a string
of ‘Fucks’ and making up new swearwords by stringing several together) He
raised a hand in greeting as the car pulled in. I was out of the car before the
driver, and he shot me an evil look for depriving him of providing the service
of opening my door. That’s nice and all, but I can open doors by myself, that
at least is within my woeful capabilities. I thanked him, but he didn’t
respond, driving away too fast.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“That went well.” I said, jumping the tailgate and
slumping down next to Van. I handed him his obligatory coffee and his eyes
danced, though they had before he’d seen it. Maybe he appreciated the company.
He seemed to live an insular life out here. I took a pair of bananas from my
bag and handed him one, laughing as he looked at it in confusion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Had breakfast?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“About to have a banana.” He said, flinching against
the tirade he no doubt expected.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“I’m going to sign you into rehab if you don’t look
after yourself properly.” I laughed, breaking a piece of banana off and chewing
it contemptuously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He peeled his, still looking
at it in suspicion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Something flashed in the
distance, and I assumed it was the light reflecting off glass or something, but
Van flipped out his shades and put them on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They always find me eventually.” He said sadly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I stuck both my fingers up in
the direction of the flash. My first experience of paps! Awesome! They clearly
had no morals as they just took it upon themselves to follow people around,
invading their privacy and personal space. At least this one was a way away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van looked at me in awe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“If they can’t use the photos, they’re wasting their time.”
I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van joined me, and the pair of
us sat in the bed of his truck, fingers up, laughing our arses off like a pair
of kids. I then had a brainwave. I carried a fold up umbrella in my bag (force
of habit from England) as I used to against the sun. I pulled it out, snapped
it open and held it in front of our faces.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You are a genius.” Van said in approval, turning back to
eating the banana and grinning at me as he chewed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was just thankful they
weren’t the scarily persistent photographers that would get all up in your face
and snap.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Once we’d eaten, I’d forced him to drink some water
and he’d had a fag (I gave him disapproving looks throughout) we headed inside.
It was another building like every other, almost down to the décor and layout.
Another snotty cow in a suit and painfully pulled back hair greeted Van and
ignored me. He made a point of introducing me and I was as polite as I could
manage. She regarded me with her eyes narrowed to slits, but I was coming to
think of that as the norm here. I was hated, I got it. Maybe I should take out
an ad in a local paper stating that I was aware that my presence was not
appreciated, and they were possibly going to get lines on their faces if they
kept looking at me like that. That would scare them into stopping for sure. The
women here flipped out about that kind of thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was a photo shoot, possibly an all day job from the
horrified looks that Van was giving me. I followed him this time, not allowed
the bitch to stop me. Obviously I wasn’t there whilst he was changing, but I
sat on a stool and chatted to him as he changed behind a curtain. I struck up a
conversation with the girls in hair and makeup, and they were delirious over my
accent. They then asked me how to do it as they were aspiring actresses who
wanted to be ‘different’. They copied me saying certain words whilst Van was
laughing his arse off behind the curtain. It was better than being openly
hated. Whilst I waited for Van’s hair to be done, I sat in the chair next to
him. The make-up girl decided that meant I was fair game and started painting
and filing my nails to pass the time. Weird. The days seemed to go slowly for
them if they weren’t actually making someone over. I felt a little guilty, the
way I treated my hands meant that this would last all of ten minutes, but she
filed off all the rough, chewed edges and painted them a grass green colour
which I loved. I’d never had a manicure or anything like that, so it was yet
another new experience for the day. I asked the girl (Janey) if she’d do Van’s
nails in a nice pink, and the pair of us giggled as he looked at us in panic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Maybe just his toenails then?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">When his hair was done (and if
I’m honest, I couldn’t see much of a difference even though they were fussing
over it for over 40 minutes!) it was on to makeup. Van doesn’t need makeup, he
is stunning already with his perfect skin (for a man obv), tan and beauty spot,
but apparently they were hiding imperfections. I raised an eyebrow when they
said that as I didn’t think he had any.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was getting twitchy, so I
started telling all the awful ‘Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman’ jokes that I
could remember. They were all terrible, but that just made the girls and Van
laugh. He needed a cigarette, I could tell by the twitching of his hands. I was
prepared though! I handed him a sugar free lollypop. He looked at me like I’d
lost it, but then, I’d never had it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You clearly want a fag, this will keep your hands busy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">They all cracked up at my use
of the word ‘fag’ apparently it is only a gay slur over here (it was in the UK
too, but also meant Ciggy) I smiled and let them get it out of their systems,
and Van seemed placated for a short time as he sucked the lolly. Such a kid. I
gave the girls ones too and the four of us sat that in contented silence,
sucking on apple flavoured lollies. Simple minds, simple pleasures.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once they had ‘beautified’ Van, it was time for the photos
to be taken.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Janey and Lola (Copacabana was
constantly in my head) were fluttering around between shots, fussing over hair,
makeup and other things that seemed needless. The change in him was startling
though, he was the consummate professional, standing taller, throwing his
shoulders back and doing everything asked of him, and more. He knew what they
wanted, and god did he give it to them. How is it that a man can just stand
there and make your heart stop, or tilt his head slightly and make you want to run
over and kiss him. I restrained myself, but it wasn’t easy. They took a few
shots of him smoking, which he was thrilled about, and I was seriously pissed
off with myself for thinking how sexy he looked when he did it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was a long day. I broke it
up by going on ‘runs’ to get drinks, food (all healthy of course, suck it Van!)
and anything else that was needed by everyone present. They were surprised when
I offered, but I wasn’t such a snob as to think it was beneath me. I needed the
fresh air, and would be going in and out for Van anyway. The bitch in the suit
was a lot nicer to me after I brought her some frothy coffee skinny latte thing
and a bagel. They had an account so I felt pretty powerful walking in and
saying ‘Oh charge it to *insert company name*’ and handing them a card they’d
leant me, so much fun! I forced apples and carrot sticks down Van’s throat,
though he looked at them like a petulant child. I rewarded him with his
favourite sub and he was happy again. Men are so easy to please. I was aware
that I was taking the mothering thing too far, but I figured if he got used to
it, he’d eventually start doing it himself and I wouldn’t need to. He worked
long, irregular hours on very little sleep, too much caffeine and nothing
remotely nutritious food wise. I might be dictating and fussing too much, but
it was a means to an end. The boy was bloody useless. But he was pretty enough
to make up for it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was drifting off in a chair
by the time they’d finished. It was pitch black outside, but no one seemed to
think it odd that it took that long. The photos would have to be pretty
phenomenal for me to think it was worth that much time being spent on it. Van’s
eyes were dark ringed and slightly glazed as we walked to his truck. He’d very
kindly offered to drop me home, but I think he was regretting it now as he was
so shattered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m walking you up to your door Iana (pronounced Yana)” He
said, holding back a yawn which set me off doing it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He had a pet name for me! Yay!
It took me a few minutes to get that he was using the end of my full name, and
not just picked it out of thin air.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van, seriously, you’re exhausted, I’ll be fine, just dump
me in front of the building.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He rubbed his eyes tiredly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not happening. You think I could live with your death on
my conscience?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I laughed and shook my head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you for putting the thought that I might get
murdered into my head. I’m going to sleep well tonight!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He looked a little guilty, but
his expression lightened when he saw I was joking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Some kind of line had been
crossed today, and I think we were both feeling a lot more comfortable in each
other’s presence, especially since the incident with the Pap earlier. He was
finally coming to the conclusion that I had no intention of selling him out and
would do what I had to to protect his privacy. Hell, if I thought beating the
shit out of the guy would have impressed Van, I’d probably have done it (and
ended up in hospital as I can’t fight)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We arrived at my building. The usual gangs of guys were
stood around the door, but they left me alone as I was with Van. In the
darkness they didn’t recognize him, but he helped with the cap and sunglasses.
We passed a man urinating over the bannister of the stairs and came to my door,
the customary puddle of pee in its usual place. Van looked at me in horror. I
simply shrugged and said; “Happens every single bloody day.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I unlocked the door and hopped over the puddle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Want to come in? I’ll make you something to eat? Something
that is REAL food.” I said with a grin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded, so tired and
speechless from the classy-ness of my building that he couldn’t manage much
more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I took his coat, closed the
door behind him and made him go sit on the bed as he looked fit to drop. I was
able to talk to him through the door to my room as the place was so itty bitty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I raided the fridge of veg,
chatting away to Van about the shoot we’d just been on, but was getting no
reply. Poor tired boy was curled up asleep. On my bed. I’m having an
unintentional sleep over with the biggest star in Hollywood. This can’t be
real, I must be in a coma somewhere!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I turned off the hob as I’d
been warming a pan, and put the ingredients away. I crossed to the bedroom,
carefully took his shoes off, took a photo on my phone to annoy him with
tomorrow, and closed the door, flipping the switch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Sleeping on a floor is not fun, not least when you
have no blankets, bedding or a pillow. I managed by balling up my jacket, but
it was bloody freezing! I gave up around 3am and sat drinking tea, reading my
legal book and listening to Van snore. I couldn’t complain. I wanted him to
sleep, it was more important to me than my own comfort, and I was relieved that
he seemed to be sleeping straight through. I was aware that I was sounding like
a mother with a newborn baby and sighed deeply in annoyance. I had no desire to
be a mother, so what in the hell was I doing with Van? I’d stolen his phone
from his jacket pocket and put it to silent so nothing woke him. I kept it
beside me so that if Luke or Sofia (Luke’s mum) called, I’d answer it and wake
Van, anyone else and I’m sure they could wait until morning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I made Van and I tea, as it
was all I had, cutting up fruit for breakfast and cooking fake bacon and other
fake breakfast components. The fact that I didn’t have a table to eat at
annoyed me as it made me the hostess from hell, but I couldn’t do anything
about that now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I knocked on my bedroom door,
amased that I had woken him. He’d slept! Surely that was some kind of miracle
from what he’d told me! He opened the door and looked at me in confusion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What happened?” He asked, stretching and rubbing his eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Apparently my conversation is that boring.” I said handing
him a mug. “Tea with Soya, afraid I don’t do coffee. I have fruit for breakfast
or fake bacon, beans and toast. I have no table I’m afraid so we’ll have to eat
off our laps.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He stared at me in bemusement,
unsure of how to deal with that information this soon after waking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My one skill and superpower is
that when I’m awake, I’m awake. The second my eyes open, I’m fully functional
which has its uses. The same could not be said for the beautiful creature
holding on to the doorframe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Go take a shower, you might be lucky, there might just be
hot water for once.” I said with a laugh, throwing him towels and steering him
towards the bathroom. He was still silent, probably not actually in the land of
the living just yet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He came out as I was plating up the ‘fake’ items. I was
sticking with fruit, I was hoping it might wake me up. He looked semi alert now
and oh so very cute with his hair all wet and tousled. Unfortunately he had
dressed before coming out as the pervert in me was hoping he would only be
wearing a towel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I am so sorry.” He said when I handed him a plate and
cutlery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why? You were exhausted. I’m just glad you slept.” I
steered him to the bed to sit and eat, then headed for the shower myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was bitching cold, but I
didn’t care, Van Murphy is on my freaking bed again! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I pulled my wet hair into a
bun (it would be dry in no time the second I went out in the sun.) and came out
in a shirt and trousers, grabbing the bowl of fruit I’d prepared and stabbing
at it with a fork. I leaned against the doorway so I could talk to him as I
ate. He’d eaten everything on the plate! I should make him a star chart and
give him a gold star every time he does. I snorted back a laugh as I thought
this. I gave him back his phone and explained what I’d done, in case he got
freaked out that I’d done something irreversible to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Feel better?” I asked, fighting a yawn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, thank you. Your bed is magic.” He laughed, grabbing
the towel and drying his hair. It was all fluffy and sticking up. I wanted to
take a picture, but that would be too stalker-y. Instead I messaged him the
photo of him asleep and he laughed when he received it. I could have shown him
on my phone, but this was more fun. Sad I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Where did you sleep?” He asked, looking worried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“The bath.” I said. His eyes widened and I shook my head at
him. “I don’t sleep very well so I just read and drank tea. When the caffeine
hits my system, I’m going to be a nightmare.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I feel awful. I stole your bed and was the rudest guest…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I held up my hand to stop him.
I loved having him here, apart from the fact that the flat was a complete dump.
That wasn’t so good as I couldn’t even let him sit at a frigging table. He
didn’t seem to mind, he really was as grounded as I had thought. His humility
just made him all the more attractive, and he really didn’t need any help!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-35607033435992222192012-10-08T04:23:00.002-07:002012-10-08T04:23:55.148-07:00Dangerous Territory
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Sleep didn’t happen again, probably
all the tea I drank. I spent the night reading the PA book, and was making good
progress when my phone beeped. A message from my parents checking I was still
alive. I’m guessing they forgot about time differences. I sent a standard
reply, telling them about my job, but not mentioning who I worked with. At some
point I must have drifted off as my phone woke me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was a text from Van; ‘No
work today, have a day off. See you tomorrow’ Along with an address and time. I
should have been happy, but I just felt deflated. I reeled off a reply, telling
him to eat something green and make sure he kept up with the water. He sent me
a photo of some Midori. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘You can’t eat that!’ I replied. ‘Plus that won’t help with
the dehydration we spoke about.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘I could eat it if I froze it. Go have fun, don’t worry
about if I’m eating or not. ;p’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘Midori is Japanese for green. They say you should learn
something new every day. I’ll leave you be, just please eat something that is
actually in a food group! And get some sleep!’ I replied, wanting to go to
wherever he was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Days off were pointless to me,
I had no friends to visit, nothing to do, no money to do it with… Today was
going to suck balls. I headed back to see Sage and do more research. I needed
to know who represented him, introduce myself to the people he had given me the
contact details of, and if I had time, drool over photos of him. There was
always time for that though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I also wanted to check my Facebook page, email etc. and put
links up to Van’s art site to see if I could help him raise a bit more money. I
then did something very stupid. I looked him up on Twitter and FB. Bad times.
If I thought other movie stars had rabid fans foaming at the mouth, it was
nothing in comparison to Van. Holy crap were they mental! He had no end of
messages offering to be the mother of his next child, wedding proposals (and my
personal favourite) a link to a website where a grown woman had cut and pasted
photos of brides and grooms, and added hers and Van’s faces. It was too much! I
sent a link to Van, snorting back laughter at the pictures this 40 something
had made. Photoshop was being abused in the worst possible sense! But her page
linked to others even more frightening. There were the Garbage Pail Girls who
went through the bins of anywhere they knew he had stayed looking for items of
clothing he might have thrown away, used toothbrushes…it turned my stomach.
They even had photos of their ‘hauls’ (though they didn’t really know if they
had been Van’s or another customer of the hotel’s!)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were used boxer shorts which included a
description of their smell (I threw up in my mouth at the description of how
amasing Van’s arse apparently smelt), used tissues… I had to click off that
page, I was going to be seeing the Vegan Cupcake again. Sage was an amasing
baker, but I didn’t think she’d appreciate seeing her work coming out of me in
a violent torrent of vomit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>From there it just got weirder. There were cults set up in
his honour, a page for the ‘Hates’ I.E the women he had dated that these women
loathed and detested. I’m sure some of his fans were wonderful and respectful,
but these ones scared the crap out of me, I’d no doubt be joining that list
soon enough if I were ever photographed with him. I was thankful that so far I
hadn’t encountered any screaming, crying girls (and women) as I had no idea of
how I would deal with it. Pepper spray? A TASER? All the fun things that
weren’t legal in England…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Should I had self-defense
training to my list? Or a course in being a body guard? That would be frigging
AWESOME! Maybe I should look into that…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was a quiet, boring day of too much caffeine,
random tweets on Facebook to pretend I had people to talk to, and posting links
to Sage’s café to encourage some custom. The place was dead which I couldn’t
understand as she was really reasonable price wise, but the V word did tend to
scare off ‘normal’ people (Vegan). Everyone here seemed to either have it all,
or be scratching in the dust, it was the weirdest place I’d ever been. It would
take some getting used to. I had no more change, so had to head home. What an
exciting day. I couldn’t wait to actually have work again tomorrow, even if it
did involve a huge amount of sitting around, I could get some reading done. I
had nearly finished the PA book and wanted to move on to the legal one. I hated
heading back to my depressing, empty, lonely flat, knowing I’d have a puddle of
pee to greet me (it was now a daily occurrence.) Maybe I could rig some kind of
electric fence so that whoever was doing it (I had my suspicions) would get a
huge jolt of electrical current through them. If only I’d been an electrician
or engineer!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had my iPod as loud as it
would go, and was hacking the unholy hell out of carrots when my phone rang. I
saw it rather than heard it, vibrating a little trail across the side board. I
caught it just as it was about to hit the floor. It was Van. Crap. I hoped he
didn’t need anything as I doubted I’d find a cab at this time and I really
didn’t want to step outside my front door. Was this part of my job?<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><o:p></o:p></u></b></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mr. Murphy?” I said as I answered it, chucking the carrot
sticks into a plastic box and lobbing them unceremoniously into the fridge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van. Seriously, no more Mr. Murphy. Could you open your
door? I feel like I’m going to be murdered if I stand out here any longer.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Crap! He was outside! What the
hell! Oh god this was bad, this was so bad! I didn’t have seats for him to sit
on, a radio to cover a lack of conversation, or even anything for him to drink.
Shit! And how in the hell was a Hollywood movie star lowering himself to come
to this hellhole? If any of my ‘delightful neighbours’ realised who he was,
they’d hold him ransom! I looked around the apartment quickly to check there
was no underwear scattered across the floor, and checked my reflection very
quickly in the mirror. I looked like hell. Nothing new there so he should get
used to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I opened the door slowly, not completely believing that he
was going to be stood there. He was, and he was carrying a bottle and a basket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Nice area you live in George.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded once with a sigh and
stepped aside for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He entered my disgusting,
dank, depressing little flat and looked around, being polite enough not to say
what a dump it was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“House warming gift.” He handed me the basket and bottle.
“Vegans are a nightmare to buy for. I found an awesome cupcake shop but you
won’t eat them.” He raised an eyebrow and smiled brightly, not looking remotely
fussed about being here, right in the middle of hell. He was an actor after
all, and this was an Oscar worthy performance. If I were him, I’d have turned
around and left by now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was dressed casually in low
slung jeans with the knee torn, a black tight fitting t shirt that had a zombie
on it, and a leather jacket. He lost points for the leather.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The basket was full of the most perfect looking fresh fruit
I had ever seen, each looking as though they might be fake as they were so
flawless. The bottle was champagne and probably cost more than this apartment
did to build, not that I had a clue about that kind of thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I would have told him to make
himself at home, to sit and get comfortable, but it was literally the bed or
the toilet in the way of seats. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you, this is incredibly sweet. Would you like a
glass?” I held up the bottle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded, still looking
around him. He couldn’t have failed to notice the peeling wallpaper, the cracking
paint on the window frames, the screaming traffic outside, the hellish base
line of my </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">neighbour’s</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> shitty music or the lack of, well, anything
resembling furniture. My suitcase was my chest of drawers, my shower curtain
rail was for hanging clothes… the bed was my chair/dining room table/desk and
that was the extent of the possibilities in this hole.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I opened the bottle, wanting to apologize for how vile the
place was, to tell him to leave before he caught something, or run away
screaming and pretend this had never happened. I poured two tumblers of
champagne and handed him one. At least I had glasses, even if they weren’t the
right ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Want to sit?” I indicated the tiny side room and pointed
to the bed, cringing internally at how bad this was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He took the glass and lead the
way into the bedroom. There was a Hollywood movie star in my bedroom. There was
a Hollywood movie star on my bed! Poor, poor man having to endure this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m so sorry about the state of this place…you must be
used to five star hotels and red carpets, not crack whores and meth dens.” I
began to babble, but he genuinely didn’t seem bothered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I hate that side of Hollywood. Not that long ago I had a
job in as an apprentice mechanic and wasn’t even on minimum wage. This is a
palace compared to my first place.” His smile reached his eyes in such a sweet,
happy way I felt myself returning it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re lucky you made it up here alive.” I said, taking a
tiny sip. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I’m such a light weight that
if I were to drink any faster, I’d be falling down in ten minutes, or declaring
undying love to my fridge. Or worse, him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How does such a little thing live here? It’s scary. I
really don’t like the idea of you being alone.” His voice was low, his arm accidentally
brushing mine and sending shocks through me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It had been so long since I’d been this close to
another human being (by choice. Being crammed into a train/bus/plane didn’t
count) that I wanted to edge closer and just be touching him in any way I
could. His blue eyes were full of concern for me. It was very kind of him to
worry, but then he seemed to be such a genuinely nice person. He was humble,
gracious and always good to his fans. He spent hours chatting before premieres
and going on social networking sites to interact with them. Having spent a day
with him doing interviews, I was in awe of how he could answer the same
question twenty times and still be as enthused and interested as the first time
he was asked. Interviewers loved him because he was so easy to talk to and did
his best to give them what they wanted. Plus the charisma that seemed to be exuding
from his pores every minute of every day…and he was incredibly easy on the
eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m still alive, I must be doing something right.” I said
with a laugh, but even I wasn’t convinced by it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He finished his champagne and
turned his body to face me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Seriously, this is a hellish place to live. There must be
somewhere else.” His hand was at his mouth, biting the skin around his nails as
he did when he was either thinking, or nervous. I was picking up his body
language incredibly quickly, but it wasn’t hard when I spent so long with him
in such a short space of time. Besides, he was embarrassingly beautiful, sat on
my tiny broken bed in my shitty dump of a flat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Not that I can afford.” I said sipping my drink so I
didn’t have to say anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He sighed in irritation. Why
did he care? If anything happened to me, he had women who would kill to be his
PA, besides, I wasn’t even good at the job. He kept me on out of pity and
amusement at the myriad of ridiculous ways I messed up and the ensuing chaos.
He was clearly finding working with me both a nightmare and a form of
entertainment. I spent most of my days apologising, blushing and falling over
my own feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We both looked around for something to say. I’d never been
good at small talk, and he made me both incredibly uncomfortable and
exhilarated at the same time. My heart was going so crazy I thought I was about
to seizure and I could feel a blush rising on my cheeks for the fortieth time
that day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Tell me about yourself.” He said, walking back through to
the kitchen part and snagging the champagne. He filled his glass again and
topped up mine even though I tried to stop him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What would you like to know?” I asked, knowing that my sad
little life wouldn’t be of any interest to someone who was used to women
falling at his feet. He’d dated a supermodel for Christ’s sake. There was something
slightly freeing about that though. It was physically impossible for me to
compete, so I needn’t bother. I currently looked like fifty shades of hell and
she probably looked like a Goddess from the second she rolled out of bed (but
not for less than £100,000!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Everything.” He said simply, looking at me intently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I looked away, his gaze
feeling as though it were stripping me to the bone. Those eyes were dangerous,
he should be forced to wear sunglasses at all times to protect the women of the
world. It wasn’t even just his eyes, everything about him was incredibly
appealing; his height, his toned, tanned body, the tattoos (which were random
and he’d admitted several happened whilst he was drunk), even the bloody
smoking. I loathed smoking, and somehow he made it look sexy. He also never
smelled like an ashtray even though he constantly had a fag in his mouth.
Stupid things were beautiful about him, like the way he chewed gum, or how shy
he would get when a particular costar would tease him. I knew he wore
sunglasses because he was self-conscious and liked to hide behind them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Just being in the same room as
him depressed me because I knew I adored him, loved him, worshipped him, but I
was this plain little ragged thing in a garden on picture perfect roses and
lilies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well…I lived in England my whole life. Went a bit crazy
and thought Hollywood would be a good place to run away to, ended up living in
a crack den working in a job that I quite clearly have no idea of how to do,
and for a movie star who the world worships but I’d never even heard of because
I don’t get out much.” I smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He rolled his eyes and nudged
me with his elbow. I wanted to beg him to do it again, or something equally
pathetic or desperate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Family?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Control freak father, dippy mother. My mum’s side is Irish
so it’s a pretty huge extended family.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hobbies?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Reading, bad horror movies, Japanese music, playing
computer games where I beat the crap out of things, cute fluffy animals, vegan
ice cream, bubble baths…nothing particularly interesting.” I trailed off at the
end, unsure of anything I could say that would impress him. I had a donor
card…but that was about it for honorable mentions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You are probably the most unique person in this god
forsaken hole.” He said, draining the glass and filling it again. He topped
mine up even though I’d only taken a couple of sips.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Unique?” Was that a polite way of saying freak?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re untainted. You don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, sleep
around, have tucks, silicone or fillers, haven’t had so much surgery that you
can’t move your face…you’re not remotely plastic. It’s unbelievably
refreshing.” He said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I blushed and fussed over the
corner of my T-shirt, wishing I had something nicer to wear and that he’d
warned me he was coming so I could either be out, or steal some furniture and
nice clothes from somewhere. As much as I loved and adored my 30 Seconds to
Mars Tee, it was not winning me any prizes, not least because it was an XL and
I was an XS. I should have stuck a belt around it and pretended it was a dress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I hate this place, that’s why I live in New York. It’s so
fake. You can’t trust anyone here, they all have hidden agendas. I’ve seen best
friends tear chunks out of each other, girls rip each other’s hair out for a
bit part in a low budget movie…everyone is ‘on’ something be it coke, alcohol
or worse.” He sighed and began chewing on his finger again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, it’s pretty scary. I don’t know who I can talk to
about anything as I get the feeling everyone would sell me down the river if
they thought it would benefit them, even over something as stupid as getting a
coffee order wrong.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They would.” He said, gazing up at me through his long
lashes. He looked so young and vulnerable in that moment that I wanted to reach
out to him, but thought better of it. I took another sip of the champagne and
embraced the slightly light headed feeling I was getting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Please don’t change.” He said to me, head tilted, brows
knitted in concern. “I love that you are so…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Boring.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Normal. Grounded. Sane. Real. Honest. Genuine. That’s why
I hired you. I don’t care that you have no idea of what you’re doing. I wanted
someone around that I can trust, and you’re such an awful liar I think I’ll be
safe with you.” He laughed softly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The woman above banged on the
ceiling. I groaned. Evil cow. I heard her stomping down the stairs before she
was hammering on the door, screaming bloody murder at me through the hinge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Lovely neighbours you have.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I once came home to find her banging on the door,
screaming at me to keep the noise down. There was no one in there. She didn’t
even care when I tapped her on the shoulder and explained I’d been out all day.
She is seriously unhinged.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“All the more reason to get you the hell out of here before
you end up on the news.” His voice was light, but his eyes were serious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Most girls would kill to be on TV.” I said, trying to
crack a joke, but failing miserably.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He didn’t laugh, but got to
his feet and stalked over the front door, yanking it open roughly and staring
down at the woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh…uh…” She mumbled before turning and hurrying off. She
didn’t even stamp up the stairs! Result!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was my hero. Hopefully
she’d leave me alone from now on, but that was probably more wishful thinking
than something that would actually happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He came back and sank down on
the bed next to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I really hate you being here.” He said, his accent heavier
when he spoke quietly as he was now. It was compelling and addictive. I could
feel myself leaning a little closer, but put it down to the booze making me
brave or stupid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We’ve got an early start tomorrow…I should be heading off.
Come back to mine with me, I can’t leave you here. We’ll find you another
place…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van Murphy just asked me back
to his place! I could just imagine the hate mail I’d be getting if the fan
girls knew about this! They were scarier than the crack whores and scary lady
upstairs combined. Thank god we’d made it VERY clear I was just his PA. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">God, I wanted to say yes. I
wanted to yell; ‘Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Oh God yes!’ But I didn’t.
Instead I stupidly said;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That is incredibly kind, but I couldn’t. Thank you, but
I’m really ok.” I tried to smile in a reassuring way, but it felt weird on my
face,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He sighed deeply again,
chewing on his fingers as he clearly wanted a cigarette.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Are you completely sure? It’s really not a problem.” His
eyebrows peaked as he looked at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You have my number. Call me if ANYTHING happens, even if
it’s to kick that bitch’s ass upstairs.” He gave me a sidelong grin and got to
his feet. He carried his empty glass and put it by the sink. He was such a
badass when he wanted to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Please look after yourself and stay safe.” He placed his
hands on the sides of my arms, and I nearly started squealing like one of his
fan girls, tempted to go post it on Twitter with an ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">In your faces bitches</i>!’ but thought better. Besides, I had no
internet access here. That was probably for the best considering how tipsy I
was starting to feel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll send a car over to pick you up tomorrow morning to
make sure you’re safe.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was going to argue, but the
determined look in his eye made me think better of it. I nodded once again, not
trusting myself to speak.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Night.” He said, opening the door and stepping out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Night Mr.…Van.” I said, closing it softly behind him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Once I could hear his
footsteps on the stairs, I began to jump up and down happily, clapping my hands
like a demented sea lion and squealing in complete and utter deliriousness. He
cared! He touched me! Oh god I need to have myself put down if I’m getting this
excited by something that probably meant absolutely nothing to him. I was such
a mess! I needed a boyfriend so I didn’t flip out like this every time someone
*coughVancough* touched me or showed me anything resembling affection. Kill me,
kill me now. I’m 29 not 12. But it was nice to feel happy again, even if it was
for a reason that would end in me being disappointed and heartbroken. Best not
to fall for him, it won’t end well, not least because if I told him, he would
probably laugh hysterically, fire me, ship me back to England or hold up a
photo of his Super Model ex next to me to show how woefully inadequate I was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I snagged an apple
from the basket he had brought me and bit into it. What a surprise! It tasted
as perfect as it looked. Part of me felt a little sad about that. I was used to
mediocre and I’d never had a problem with it. Would being here make me as vain
and shallow as the rest of the plastics? Would I be waxing, plucking, Botoxing,
injecting, dying and filling with the rest? Would I wake three hours earlier
each day to make myself look like the rest of the oompaloompas I saw each day,
so heavily painted that I was amazed they could blink? I hoped not. I couldn’t
afford it and I wasn’t sleeping as it was. It would be a good use of my
insomnia though…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-45252806609736768632012-10-07T00:18:00.003-07:002012-10-07T00:18:54.826-07:00Cigs, Coffee and Bitches
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It had been such a completely
insane day, I had left it all at the door to deal with later. I felt
half-starved and set about making food as it kept my hands busy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">After the coffee shop, Van had
driven me home (though I’d lied about where it was so he didn’t see the hell
hole building) I’d given him my email, address, bank details etc. etc. ad
infinitum, all the legal jazz had been discussed and we were ready to
officially work together. I was still none the wiser as to what was actually
required, but I’d deal with that later. I needed a couple of hours of chores
and monotony to keep me sane.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After dinner I braved the shop for supplies. Van had given
me an ‘allowance’ (in actual cold, hard cash – he was way too trusting!) for
supplies such as organisers etc. I’d have to go further afield to get some of
the things I needed, but for now as long as I had pens and paper, I should be
ok. The first thing I had done was to put a password on my phone so if anyone
got hold of it, they couldn’t get his details from it. I knew there were people
who could easily unlock and hack phones, but it would hopefully discourage one
of his many fans. Maybe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I needed internet access
desperately for research and contact purposes and to keep up to date with his
presence in the media. If I’m his PA, I will no doubt have to liaise with the
press and media to ensure that his good name was being protected. I would need
legal knowledge, or the ability to search legal issues. I didn’t even know the
laws in England, god knows what they were like over here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We had a late start the next
day, so I headed to the centre of town to grab more things I would need. He’d
given me money for more clothes after I had admitted how woefully empty my
wardrobe was. He’d grinned as though it were something he had expected me to
say, and we barely knew each other. Though to be honest, it was probably
evident that I had no clue about clothing and didn’t own much. I met a
Hollywood movie star in a second hand shirt. I for one wouldn’t care, but it’s
not exactly the done thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I wandered around feeling completely lost as tanned, toned,
plastic goddesses strutted past me, several making no attempt to show their
disapproval of my presence. A couple even shoved into me. Awesome. Apparently
wearing bad clothes and not having a tan are as serious as murder out here. My
esteem was taking blow after blow and I hated it. I hadn’t felt that great
about myself to start with, but this had been the last place I should have come
to. Did I regret it? Hell yes, but the ONE single, solitary reason to stay made
up for all the other rubbish, and he wanted me to spend his hard earned cash on
clothes. Urgh. I hate clothes shopping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I sent him a text checking he had eaten, he clearly needed
reminding. He sent a photo back of a bowl of cereal he was hopefully eating. I
replied asking if he’d gotten much sleep. He sent back a sad smiley face. All
the caffeine was not helping, it was like a huge vicious circle, but I doubted
they made caffeine free coffee. It would be something to look up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I found three shirts of varying colours that looked ok and
didn’t cost the same amount as a brand new car. You could tell just from the
window displays where you could afford if you lived on my budget. I was more Wal-Mart
than Versace at the current time, and truthfully, I wanted to keep it that way.
If I ever got to the point where I thought it was ok to spend £100 on a shirt,
I would be shipping myself back to the UK. I found a couple of pairs of
pinstripe trousers too, along with a suit jacket. I actually looked a bit like
an adult with it all on in front of the mirror in the shop, and I didn’t like
it one bit. It wasn’t remotely me. But we all have to grow up some time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I also grabbed folders and other filing crap that I would
need. I would be stealing Van’s phone to get contact details of everyone I
might need, and would probably need to send e-mails introducing myself. I
ducked into a book shop (my home away from home. Books! *drool*) and lost
myself briefly in excitement at the sheer size of it. Would they notice if I
moved in? I then remembered I was there for a reason and grabbed a book on how
to be a PA. They actually had a book on it. I was impressed. They also (thank
the gods) had a book about laws in Hollywood concerning the media! This place
had EVERYTHING! I was thrilled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After getting everything I needed and heading ‘home’ to
change, I grabbed some fruit and veg, stuck it in a box and threw it in my bag
along with the two books and filing junk I’d just bought. I was a little bit
sad as I’d wanted to get the ‘Hello Kitty’ one, but didn’t think it would give
the most professional image, so bought a boring plain one instead. This place,
despite its colourful and plastic ways, was slowly making me dull and
responsible. Yuck, yuck, yuck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van had sent me another
address to meet him at, and thankfully it was within walking distance. I was
lucky that I recognized the street name as otherwise I would have been
completely screwed. He was sat in the bed of his Ford, looking thoroughly
excited to be there. It was another interview and he was not looking forward to
it. I handed him the coffee I’d bought along with an apple. He looked at it as
though I had handed him rat poison, before shrugging and biting into it. I
hopped up on the bed and sat next to him, being careful not to dirty my new
trousers. He was wearing sunglasses even though we were parked in the shade,
clearly a defense mechanism, which made my heart hurt a little. When he pulled
a cigarette out of the packet, I snatched it from his hands and handed him a
peach instead. He blinked, clearly not used to having someone look after
him/boss him around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can still fire you, you know.” He said with a laugh,
biting into the peach and rushing to catch the juice that ran down his chin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I pulled a packet of tissues
from my bag and handed them to him. He laughed at how I seemed to be carrying
the whole world in my bag. A good girl scout is always prepared – not that I’d
ever been a scout, but it was good advice regardless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is there anything you don’t have in there?” He asked,
looking over the shades at me. My heart acted like its former teenage self and
did little flips when he caught me in his gaze. I was glad to be sitting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My usual response would have
been something gross like; ‘I don’t have a double ended dildo in there’, but
obviously he was my boss, and despite our weird relationship, I didn’t know him
well enough to try that one on him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Kitchen sink…” I said, borrowing the cliché. “Who is the
interview with today? Do you know what it will be about and is there anything
you want me to say ‘No Comment’ about?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I just want you to ease yourself into the job as neither
of us really know what it involves…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I pulled out the book I’d
bought and held it up for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Impressive.” And he did look impressed. At </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">organisation</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">, I
was the Queen. It came from neurosis and anxiety, but if I could use it to my
advantage, then it was all good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He yawned and stretched again.
I pulled a bottle of water from my bag and handed it to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“With all the coffee, you’re probably dehydrated, so water
will wake you up.” I cringed, thinking I might have over stepped the mark. I
was mothering him too much and he was probably going to get mighty pissed off
about it any time soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you.” He said, cracking the seal and downing it in
one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">A thin stream of water ran
down his lips, his chin, his neck. I followed its progress with my eyes,
envying it like the sad little fucker I am. I wanted to reach out and touch
him, not only because it was HIM, but also because I was incredibly lonely and
craved human contact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sorry.” I said sheepishly, fiddling with the straps on my
bag.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t be, it’s nice having someone care.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Dictate more like.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re taking the job seriously. I like that. I need
someone to kick me up the ass on a daily basis.” He smiled gently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">A couple of snappish looking
women approached the flatbed, eyeing me up in suspicion. The usual pleasantries
were exchanged; I was ignored or given evil looks. We were shown inside where
they had a foyer for the interview, and a separate mini studio for a photo
shoot. Van clearly hadn’t expected that and cringed, sighing deeply. No one but
me noticed. I took out my phone and sent him a text; ‘Ha ha sucks to be you.’
Yeah, I was overstepping the mark a little, but he seemed to have a sense of
humour. He took his phone from his pocket, read the text and snorted out a
laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mr. Murphy will be in hair and makeup for the next hour or
so. Make yourself comfortable out here.” One of the women sniped, her hair
pulled so tight her eyes were practically bulging out. I thanked her politely
and took a seat, pulling out my book. I was going to be a PA extraordinaire, or
at least I would try, he would get sick of me in a week and I’d be scrubbing
toilets from then on out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My phone beeped not long after
Van and the women had disappeared into another room. It was a picture. Of Van’s
heavily chewed middle finger. I giggled to myself, thankful no one was around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I managed to get through five chapters before a sheepish
Van crept through the door. Damn him and his beautiful self. They’d clearly
been doing ‘something’ to his hair, and he was manically fussing over it to get
it back to normal. He had a wipe in the other hand, trying to get whatever make
up off that they had assaulted him with. The two women followed, so severe in
their immaculate suits that they could have been machines. I hadn’t seen either
of them smile once.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The interview got under way and I sat in silence, politely
observing in an unobtrusive way. The clones clearly weren’t happy at my
presence and kept aiming spiked comments at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So how long have you known…sorry, what was your name
again?” Clone one said with a snake’s smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“George.” I said with a serene smile that I didn’t feel at
all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Less than a week.” Van said. We looked at each other and
both giggled nervously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And what was it that made you choose ‘her’ (the word was
said with disgust) and your PA?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had to cover my mouth to
stop myself from laughing. What was he supposed to say to that? ‘Someone tipped
70+ cups of coffee on the floor and blamed her for it’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“She came highly recommended.” He said, shooting me a look
that spoke of a private joke. The women clearly didn’t like it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And who have you worked for previously Miss…sorry, what
was your name again?” Clone one said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Forgive me, but I’m of no interest to your readers, you’d
be better off asking Van about himself, he’s fascinating.” I said
diplomatically, opening my book again. It was the most ‘polite’ rude thing that
I could do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I snuck a look at Van,
thinking he might be angry, but he just looked impressed. Heh heh, take that
bitches.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I managed another three
chapters, listening to the interview at the same time. It was pretty
uninspiring with the questions. It was all about his love life, or lack of,
what he was looking for in a woman, would he date a fan etc. etc. I could tell
he was bored from the twitchy way he shifted I his seat like a kid. I felt the
same, but at least I could distract myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I politely excused myself and
ran (yes ran, like a giant flid) to the coffee shop for something that Van
could use as a prop. I barely knew him, but he was incredibly easy to read in
some ways. He hated this part of his work, it made him uncomfortable to have
the focus on him all the time, and being asked about his private life… I would
need to start with the ‘No Comments’ soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I ran back with the coffee, managing not to scald myself
(go me!) took a few seconds to catch my breath and sauntered into the building.
I handed Van the paper cup, and he looked at me as though I had read his mind.
I smiled and returned to my book, but his eyes lingered on me a little longer
than would have been considered polite. I could feel the heat starting in my
feet and knew I was headed for an epic blush. I lifted the book to cover my
face, pretending I had forgotten my glasses or something equally rubbish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Interview over, Van stretched
and sighed as he stepped out into the sunlight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How did you know I needed coffee?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re incredibly easy to read Mr. Murphy.” I said shyly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van! Really? Most people say the opposite; they think it’s
impossible to know what I’m thinking.” He was curious, fascinated and a little
freaked out all at once.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Woman’s intuition.” I said, handing him another apple and
biting into one myself. I never referred to myself as a woman. I didn’t feel
like one, act like one or even look like one. I was a ‘girl’ or ‘female’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He crunched it happily, just
looking relieved to be out of there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We spent the afternoon
exchanging contacts in another coffee shop. I made him eat something -which
made me smile- and we sat working out schedules and appointments. Dealing with
business was easy as I needed this info and had no shortage of questions, but
once that was done, I felt naked and vulnerable again. I fussed over my tea
again, folding a napkin into an origami butterfly. It wouldn’t hold the folds
and fell apart, but Van watched, looking more alert than this time yesterday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We parted ways. The second he was out of reaching distance
he lit a cigarette and used it to salute me, sticking his tongue out and grinning
in an impish way. Men. I shook my head and said goodbye, watching as he walked
back to his truck. I was heading back into town to use the internet, which was
a short walk. I had so much research to do it wasn’t funny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And by research, I meant cyber
stalking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I know why the internet was
invented, and it wasn’t for sharing information, or surprisingly porn, it was
so weirdoes like me could stalk people without them knowing. Oh yes, I had
crossed that line, but I was telling myself it was so I could learn more to
help me with my job. That’s why I was looking at topless photos of Van, or the
ones of him modeling underwear… It was all for work!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The cyber café I had found was like Heaven. It was Vegan,
the girl behind the counter a cliché hippy Vegan called Sage (I’m sure she made
this up), her neck thick with peace symbols on chains. She had a spaced out way
of speaking, and I hoped she was an actress doing it for effect, and that when
she went home at night, she would take off a dreadlock wig, put on some non-tie
dyed clothes and not hate the Man. I on the other hand, loved the Man, though
it was a specific man who was never going to look at me in the way I wanted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sage brought over my tea with Soya and a Vegan cupcake
(Holy Fuck, I’m moving in here! Vegan cupcakes FTW!) she looked over my
shoulder and smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He’s a hippy at heart.” She said dreamily, her eyes
glazing over as most women’s did when they looked at my beautiful boss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He does tons of charity work and is really into art. He’s
done exhibits and everything. That’s one of his!” She pointed to a canvas that
had pride of place behind the counter. I got to my feet to inspect it, taking a
photo on my phone and sending it to Van with the caption ‘I heard a rumour that
you might know the creator of this awesome painting…’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And it was awesome.
Admittedly, I had no clue as to what it meant or represented, but the use of
colour made me giddy. I’m the kind of girl that goes into DIY stores and stares
at all the paint colour cards in excitement. Colour is such a powerful thing in
the way it can affect our moods. This one seemed slightly melancholy with the
indigos and blues, swirling into one another in a myriad of shapes. Sage looked
on proudly, quite clearly as big a fan of Van as I was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That is amazing.” I said breathlessly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He has an old soul, but the mannerisms of a child.” She
said simply, returning to clearing tables. It was something I had thought
myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I returned to the computer,
but couldn’t stop looking at the painting. I searched for more of his work and
found pages and pages. They summoned quite good prices and all the money were
to Oxfam! There were no end of photos of him with his beautiful son, and the
pride and love in his eyes made my heart clench. I don’t want kids, and don’t particularly
like them, but I will admit that my ovaries were close to exploding at the idea
of him being such a devoted, loving father. They still held hands when they
walked! Luke was 10ish (my memory is appalling) and they walked down the street
hand in hand. I loved it, he wasn’t the typical ‘Don’t show affection because
I’m a man!’ Alpha male bollocks. That just pissed me off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My phone beeped. Van; ‘I have
no idea what you’re talking about. ;p’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was so damned cute. I
wondered what he did in his free time, I doubted he had the room for a studio
to paint in here, as he had mentioned he just rented a flat. Maybe he put tarps
down and threw paint everywhere, that would be very, very cool. I could imagine
him with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, a beer bottle in hand, a huge
canvas hung on the wall, paint being thrown, him covered in it…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was way too deep for me. I
liked ‘Hello Kitty’ and bright colours, cheesy 80s Pop music, bad comedies,
Japanese Horror and anything fluffy. Van painted, got lost in his thoughts and
was just so adult in comparison, I felt a little lost.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sage kept the tea coming. The benefit of Hollywood is that
nothing ever closes. I could have stayed all night if I wanted as she was 24
hours, but I didn’t fancy walking home through the dodgy area I lived in too
late. 11.30pm came around and I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I took
my empty mug to the counter, thanked Sage and left.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span><br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-59369826630646426602012-10-06T03:25:00.000-07:002012-10-06T03:25:22.726-07:00Interview with the Van-pire
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Someone finally turned up
after more stilted conversation with Van. I wanted to be the kind of girl who
could talk to anyone about anything, but I wasn’t. Just being in his presence
made me nervous and I was really glad I hadn’t known who he was in advance or I
would have been a blubbering mess, screaming his name and snotting over him.
Fan girls are so sexy. That’s not fair, some fan girls are utterly awesome and
spend their time making gifts for the people they admire and understand
personal space and boundaries. Then there are the other kind who only seem to
understand restraining orders. Would I have to deal with that? Should I be
taking self-defense classes? Van was certainly built well enough to fight off a
crowd, but he wouldn’t really be able to hit girls. Maybe that’s where I came
in? I hoped not, I was bloody useless, had never been in a fight and used to
carry foreign coins in my pocket to throw in the face of would be attackers. It
was something I’d remembered being told at school. The problem was, the
jingling coins made me sound rich. Thankfully I’d never been mugged, though
this was more than likely due to the fact that I chose to have an out of date
phone, didn’t upgrade my iPod and dressed like a poor kid. I had been a poor
kid!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The caretaker let us in, warning us that the company that
owned the building was rarely on time. Did they not realize who they were
dealing with? Van’s eyes narrowed in irritation, but he said nothing. He was
friendly and polite to the caretaker, chatting away about motorbikes. He really
could charm anyone it seemed. I needed to be on my guard against that, I needed
to keep a clear head to do this job. I was glad I was here solely on in
observational capacity, as I didn’t know what to do other than follow Van
around like a lost puppy. He was comfortable enough with the caretaker, but as
soon as the interviewer arrived, his whole body language changed, like a child
about to be taken to the dentist. It was like a shadow falling upon him; his
eyes lost their humour, his jaw tensed and his whole body seemed to become
taught. He looked like he wanted to run. I couldn’t blame him when the peroxide
blonde with nails like talons trotted over. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was Hollywood in all its plastic, false hell. Nothing
was real from what I could tell, with her thick postbox red lipstick, orange
perma-tan (you live in a sunny place, there’s no need for it!) pedicured
toenails that peeped out of some label brand shoe. She couldn’t walk in them but
she didn’t seem to care. Van was a bunny in headlights, extending a cautious
hand for her to shake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van! How are you darling? You look as gorgeous as ever! I
saw the modeling campaign you did for…” I zoned out, her voice was too quick,
too high, like a thousand birds twittering. It was incredibly false and
irritating. Her gaze fell upon me, her distaste evident.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And who do we have here?” She sneered down at me from her
towering heels.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is Georgiana MacManus, my PA.” He said, looking at me
for help.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">How could I save him from this
demented Gorgon? I felt like stone as she looked me up and down, wrinkling her
nose as though smelling something offensive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I love your shirt! Where is it from?” She said, not even
trying to sound convincing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I smiled and thanked her
saying I had no idea, I’d had it a while. Lying is fine in some situations,
especially if it ended the conversation. She knew. She had a look in her eyes
that was accusing. Thrift store, it seemed to cry out. I didn’t honestly give a
shit what this hell spawn thought, but she was (despite the fifteen tons of
plastic and filler) gorgeous. Her shirt was unbuttoned a little too low, her
implants being pushed out as she arched her back for this specific purpose. I
was happy with my A cups, they didn’t hurt my back, they didn’t get in my way
and they wouldn’t be down by my knees when I was 40. Suck it bitch! I felt
defensive against this creature (for I doubted there was enough left to be
called Human) and wanted to run. It looked as though Van did too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Pleasantries aside she lead us into a huge office with
glass walls and blinds to cover them. She tried to shut me out ‘by accident’,
giggling as she ‘hadn’t realised I would be coming in’. Van was not impressed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The interview was, as Van had
warned me, repetitive. It was interesting to find out what work he had lined up
without having to ask him outright, but to see that ‘thing’ pouting, hair
flipping and giggling like a cliché teenage cheerleader made me want to vomit.
I may actually have thrown up in my mouth a little. My input wasn’t required which
was a relief as I doubted I would be able to pretend I didn’t want to punch the
bitch out. She made a point of looking at me every so often, shooting me a fake
smile and making demeaning comments whenever she could. I didn’t care, I just
smiled back at her in the sweetest way I could muster, imagining running over
her with a steam roller, her silicone body deflating like the bad guy’s at the
end of ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’ That kept the smiles genuine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We were finally done as no
photos were needed as they would use stock ones. Van looked completely drained
as we stepped out into the sunlight, chewing his fingers and yawning. It set me
off unfortunately. I’m sure interviews could be interesting, but that one was
just an attempt for her to get in his pants, which he clearly didn’t want.
Thank god. If the days were like this, I didn’t know if I could do this job. I
would be subjected to bitches left, right and centre, sitting in silence for
long periods of time and not really being needed. I didn’t understand the exact
purpose and requirements of this job, but Van didn’t seem to either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Let’s go get coffee. I’ll be asleep in 30 seconds
otherwise.” He yawned again and lead the way to the café I’d found earlier.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What can I get you?” He asked, pushing his Raybans back up
his nose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m ok, thank you Mr. Murphy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van. And just for that you have to have something,” His
grin was mischievous and so boyish I smiled despite myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m Vegan, they probably don’t have anything I can eat.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He raised his eyebrows in
surprise and asked the guy behind the desk what they had. I was lucky; they had
soya milk so I could have tea (Van grinned knowingly when I asked for it. The
British and their tea!) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and a banana and
apple. I was so rock and roll.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van didn’t eat anything, but
ordered coffee. Strong, black, no sugar. The boy clearly had some form of
addition problems, and I’d only known him for a few hours. It’s amazing what
you can learn when you just look and listen. He held the coffee cup like it was
the last cup on earth, striding over to a table in the window and holding the
chair out for me. Chivalrous too! I wasn’t used to that kind of thing, back
home men didn’t hold doors anymore, you were generally thankful if it wasn’t
slammed in your face with a grunt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I sank into the seat and tried to suppress the yawn I could
feel was coming. I sipped my tea, burned my tongue and stared out of the window
into the glorious sunlight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s it like being here?” He asked me, his legs
stretched out under the table, slumping down in his chair like he was preparing
to doze.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Insane. I don’t do things like this. And the sun! I don’t
think I’ll ever get bored of how beautiful and warm it is!” I was a kid at
Christmas.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is England so bad?” I couldn’t see his eyes under the shades,
but from the way he tilted his head, I could tell he was looking at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We have a joke over there that is said waaaaay too often;
‘In the Bible if it rains for forty days and forty nights they call it a flood.
We call it summer.’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He snorted back a laugh,
nearly spitting coffee at me. We tended to exaggerate about the weather, but
being here in the sun made me </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">realise</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> that we dipped out in the
climate stakes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We sat in a surprisingly
comfortable silence. He was dozing, I was stirring my tea too much to keep my
hands busy, when I suddenly heard a snort. He was asleep! I shook my head in
disbelief and smiled. Poor tired boy. I carefully stood and took off his
sunglasses, as I didn’t want him falling on them or anything awful like that.
His coffee cup was empty so I ordered another, placing it on the table before
him. He looked so serene and peaceful, I didn’t know whether I should wake him
or not. Instead I did what any self-respecting girl with a crush would do. I
took a photo on my phone and texted it to him. The bleeping of his phone woke
him with a snort, and he looked around in confusion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Morning sunshine.” I said with a smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He rubbed his eyes and looked
around groggily. He picked up his phone and looked at the message, laughing
when he worked out what it was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You could probably sell that to the newspapers.” He said,
yawning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is
that what you think I would do?” I asked feeling a little stung.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His eyes lit up when he noticed the magic refilling
coffee in front of him and he cradled it in his hands lovingly. The way to a
man’s heart (or at least this man’s) is through caffeine and fags. Urgh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No…”
He said, his eyes meeting mine and searching for something. “I don’t think
you’re remotely mercenary. But, I’ve been wrong before.” He sighed deeply and
sipped the coffee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Someone
betrayed your trust.” I said sadly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded, but said no more about it. I didn’t push. I
needed to remember that he was my boss, not my friend, not my future husband,
but my boss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-45553382837809254722012-10-05T01:25:00.001-07:002012-10-05T01:25:53.480-07:00Holy-wood
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I didn’t sleep last night, but that’s not a surprise.
I was wondering what to do about the job offer. I didn’t have any other
options, but in some ways I’d rather never see that man again than have to deal
with feeling like shit every time I saw him because I felt so rubbish about
myself. There was also the whole humiliating myself in front of him on a daily
basis thing to worry about. I doubted he was used to people keeping him
waiting, so I took out the card from my pocket (now dog eared and creased from
being unfolded so many times last night) and typed out a quick text saying I
would love the job, but not to expect much as I had no clue of what I would be
doing. He replied almost instantly, telling me I start tomorrow, bright and
early, and sending me an address to meet him at. Shit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
rest of the day was devoted to trying to get coffee stains out of my one shirt,
desperately scrubbing like a mad woman. It didn’t work so I went to the shop,
bought a ton of coffee and dumped it in the sink with the shirt and boiling
water. We used to do this at school to make paper look like parchment, but this
was important! If I made it look worse, what in the hell was I going to wear?
If I turned up in a badly dyed shirt, he would be a laughing stock as I would
be representing him. I had to look half professional. At the moment I had a
pair of smart trousers and a couple of nice bras as the shirt was still
soaking. This couldn’t work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
four hours I rinsed out the sink and shirt, the whole apartment smelling of
cheap coffee (it was better than urine that was for sure). I held it up to the
light and groaned. It looked worse, much, much worse, as in I’d been in a mud
wrestling tournament. The colour was uneven and patchy and it did in fact look
like the paper were used to dye at school…like a kid had done it. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What do I do now? I could get some brown or black dye
and do it properly, but I couldn’t afford it! Shit! I needed a charity shop!
What did they call them over here, thrift stores? Would I even be able to
afford that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
gathered all my change and found I had a grand total of $7 to get me through to
my first paycheque. My savings were earmarked for rent, not luxuries such as
food and clothing. I swallowed my pride and headed downstairs to ask the creep
at the door if there were any thrift stores around. He narrowed his eyes, blew
smoke into my face and laughed, walking away through the ‘staff only’ door.
Well fuck you too buddy! I was somehow going to get very rich and then buy and
destroy this building with him in it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
usual suspects were hanging around outside the building, asking again if I
wanted to ‘party’ with them. I politely declined and walked away quickly. Today
just got better and better. I went to visit my ‘friend’ at the local store and
ask if there were any thrift stores in the area. He surprised me by giving me
directions to two! I thanked him over and over, buying an apple out of guilt.
The first shop wasn’t hard to find, but was more a ‘vintage clothing store’ i.e.
extortionate. The second one was slightly better with racks and racks of
shirts. It was the size of a small supermarket, clothing and furniture of every
kind. I found several shirts in my size, and bought two (they were $3.50 each!
YAY!) one white, one black. They smelt a bit like moth balls and cigarette
smoke, but I couldn’t have cared less. It was slightly better than smelling
like I’ve bathed in coffee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Back at
my flat I washed the shirts and desperately tried to dry them, wringing them
out, swinging them around in the bathroom…anything to get them ‘less wet’. I
need my own reality TV show as someone would find my bad luck hilarious. The
building had a laundry room, but the creep at the desk delighted in telling me
it was out of order. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, I probably wouldn’t have
been able to afford it. He did have an iron though, which he grudgingly leant
me, the wires bare and on the verge of breaking. I might die just to dry and
iron a shirt. There were worse ways to go, so I sucked it up and ironed the bloody
things, using the counter as a board. It worked ok. They smelt of soap now
which was good and they looked pretty good. I’m always in charity shops back
home due to a lack of finances, so that wasn’t even an issue, it was just the
worry that I wouldn’t notice a HUGE tear up the back or something equally
ridiculous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Sleep didn’t come willingly that night either. I spent
the time studying his recent career I those awful mags, trying to grasp what I
could about him. There was a feature on a charity event he had run for Oxfam (A
famine charity from the UK) to raise money. They’d managed over a million
dollars apparently and donations were still coming in. So he was a
philanthropist as well as handsome, talented, sweet and every other bloody
perfect part of him. They did have a hilarious feature in one of the magazines
about (as he was currently single) how to impress Van Murphy so he will date
you. As funny as it was, it stated his favourite foods, brand of cigarettes
(blergh, I’d be putting a stop to that!) and how he liked his coffee. I would
be sucking up majorly tomorrow and turning up with coffee when I met him. Heh
heh heh. Maybe it’ll make up for the monumental ways I will fuck up for the
rest of the day until I get fired (because it is inevitable) I just hope he’s
willing to pay me for the one day, I really am going to struggle otherwise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Morning
came and the day was gorgeous as usual. I dressed, drowned myself in perfume,
scrubbed my teeth three times, flossed, mouth washed and chewed gum to ensure I
was as un-gross as possible. I found the building quite easily as his
directions had been pretty specific thankfully. There was a coffee shop across
the street so I headed there first, grabbing him a coffee and pastry
(apparently he is awful for remembering to eat Breakfast. I’d be his girlfriend
in no time…as if. I just hoped no girls actually thought an article like that
could ever help them, even though it was helping me) I charged them to my card,
which would now be overdrawn, but that was fine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I walked
back to the building and stood waiting nervously as it was still locked up. My
knees were alternating between shaking and locking from fear. Finally a beaten
up Ford truck pulled up and parked, that glorious earth bound angel stepping
out. He is probably very rich, but drives that thing! I love him! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You
found it ok?” He said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded once, muted by terror, and handed him the
coffee and pastry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He looked inside the bag and his eyes lit up before
inhaling the smell of coffee deeply.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank
you. You’re already my favourite PA ever.” He said with a laugh, taking a long
drink from the cup.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How many have you had?” I asked in a small voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re my first actually, so this could be interesting. Do
you prefer Georgiana, or something shorter?” He tore a chunk from the pastry,
his blue eyes dancing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“George, or whatever you like Mr. Murphy.” I said, keeping
my eyes lowered like a Victorian scullery maid. He made me so bloody nervous.
At least I hadn’t dropped the coffee on him. Just thinking about that made my
own burns throb. They didn’t hurt too badly, but I had completely drowned them
in antiseptic cream three or four times a day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van.” He said, sipping the coffee again. He stretched his
arms above his head and tried to suppress a yawn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Van.” I repeated. I’d be calling him Mr. Murphy before the
day was out no doubt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His eyes would constantly
flick down to meet mine, an insecurity that wouldn’t allow him to meet my eyes
fully. This boy was a complete antithesis. He had the whole world at his feet,
drooling over him, but he seemed to hate the attention. Every picture in the
magazines that hadn’t been for an ad or movie promo had had a frown or blatant
discomfort on his face. I think he was far, far deeper than anyone gave him
credit for, there was a lot more going on with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I read you have a son.” I said, trying to find a topic
that he would enjoy talking about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">His whole face lit up, from
his eyes to the corners of his mouth pulling into a fond smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Luke. He’s 12 now. He splits his time between mine and
Sofia’s.” He was gazing into the distance, lost in some memory.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Do you have a picture?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He nodded, pulling his wallet
from his pocket and taking out a well-loved picture. I knew there would be no
doubt that the kid would be gorgeous, his genes were insanely perfect, but he
was so cute! His hair was white blonde, he looked tall and slim with his
father’s eyes and the brightest smile! I’m not a fan of kids and definitely
don’t want them, but his sweet grin made my heart melt a little. I could see
why he was so proud -he was practically bursting with it. I was relieved not to
have to pretend he was gorgeous when he was ugly. I’d had to do that no end of
times with relative’s babies, and I was an awful actress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He is stunning.” I said, meaning it and thankful it
sounded sincere. Sometimes when I speak, even if I am being completely honest,
I sound sarcastic or false. I overthink things and they come out sounding
wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Van beamed at me, finishing
the pastry and pulling out a packet of cigarettes. Urgh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He held them out to me and I
shook my head violently. Lung cancer? No thank you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I probably should have asked this first, but what are we
here for?” I said, realizing I should have brought notepads, or a diary….but
they’d have to wait, I was too broke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Interview. My personal hell.” He said with a wicked smile.
“There are only so many times I can be asked the same question and not murder
someone.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I choked out a nervous giggle.
That is exactly how I would feel in his position. I suddenly felt worried that
I would have to insert ‘NO COMMENT’ s if they asked an awkward question, but I
didn’t know what was awkward or not. What were the taboo subjects? Would it be
professional or polite to ask?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was chewing clean through my
lip when Van interrupted my thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You don’t have to do anything or say anything today, it’s
just to give you an idea of how boring and monotonous this area of my life is,
to see if you still want the job.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“From what I’ve read –and they weren’t the most reliable
sources- you need someone to ensure you eat and sleep more than anything else.”
Once the words were out, I flinched, bracing myself for an angry tirade which I
no doubt deserved. Who said things like that! On their first day when they
don’t even know the person!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He laughed, and it was such a
wonderful sound, my body relaxed a little. He lit the cigarette and took a deep
draw, blowing the smoke away from me like a gentleman. I hated that he made it
look good. Smoking is probably the dumbest thing humans have come up with
(apart from cheese in a tube, a pet rock, and a whole encyclopedia full of
other moronic things) and I loathed it, but he just looked incredibly charming
and sexy when he did it. Maybe it was the ‘bad boy’ edge to it? That couldn’t
be it as I usually thought smokers were complete D-bags, especially when they
claimed to be ‘social smokers’. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had lost myself somewhere in the middle of this
internal rant when Van laughed softly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“You should see the expressions going across your
face. You’re not having a seizure are you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I could feel myself blushing, but the way he said it
made me grin. I bit my lip to stop it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“We’re going to be spending a lot of time together if
you want the job, so I should probably warn you about my warped sense of
humour, the way I greet people by flipping the bird, the smoking, the bike
obsession, the not eating properly, sleeping properly and general inability to
look after myself like an adult should.” He chewed his fingers after saying all
this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“So you need a mother, not a PA?” I said, feeling that
he might find this funny. He didn’t have the airs and graces that I had
expected from a Hollywood movie star. He was downright sane and grounded, he
even mocked himself. His ego was hell of a lot smaller than it had any right to
be in his circumstances. I really hope he kicks puppies or something, otherwise
I can see myself falling completely, head over…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“Something like that.” He stubbed out the cigarette
butt and lit another.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“As your PA, do I get to comment on things that are
detrimental to your health and wellbeing?” I said, making my eyes wide and
innocent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He raised an eyebrow and took the fag out of his mouth
and put it back in the packet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">“I’m suspecting that you’re actually something of a
drill sergeant in the body of a tiny, skinny British girl.” Both of his eyebrows
raised in surprise and teasing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Finally, someone who
understood me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-28568593648066966622012-10-04T00:29:00.001-07:002012-10-04T00:29:34.049-07:00HollyWeird
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">To say I was ‘bricking it’ (i.e.
from the delightful term to ‘shit bricks’) would be the understatement of the
year. I couldn’t sleep so looked even more crappy than usual even after I’d put
my suit on. It wasn’t a great one if I was honest, probably from a discount
store, but it was clean and ironed. I was probably going to be unblocking
toilets anyway. I’d at least make a good impression for the first five minutes
until I was covered in coffee when the machine blows up, or dog hair from
walking some famous person’s Shi-tzu. Worst comes to the worst, I’ll steal the
dog and hold it ransom for a small fortune! Mwahahahahahahah! I had no idea of
what to expect from today. I made bad tea and had no idea how to make coffee,
so I may not make it through the first day!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The pitiful amount of money I had was further diminished by
the extortionate cab ride. It was the only way I could be sure of finding the
place, even though it was within walking distance (about an hour’s walk, but
that’s nothing to me, I walked everywhere back home) The taxi driver made the
(now standard) comment about how ‘cute’ my accent was. I doubted they said that
to English men, but I smiled politely and told him to keep the 50 cents change.
Hey Big Spender! Welcome to Hollywood! He looked confused, probably never
having had such a small denomination as a tip. I hopped out quickly in case he
mugged me for more. Ha ha I don’t have any, so it would be a complete waste of
your energy! Booyah! (I was way too old, uncool and white to say that.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I took a deep breath as I stood outside a HUGE studio lot,
security at the gate, ID being checked, people being frisked… There might be
someone really famous here! But that wasn’t a good thing. Spilling boiling hot
coffee on a normal person was bad enough, but if they were Johnny Depp…I would
be hunted down and gutted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I gulped down the vomit that
was trying to make its way up my trachea, and pretended I wasn’t a terrified
little legal alien who had no business being there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Name and ID.” The security guard barked at me from behind
sunglasses, his tan a little too perfect, his nails clearly manicured. Had he
ever even had to break a sweat in this job?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Uh…Georgiana MacManus, I’m here for the runner job…” I
trailed off and cringed, expecting him to yell at me like the guy at the
airport. America hated me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well don’t you have a cute accent!” He said, softened
perceptively, a big smile lighting up his whole face. Even the security guards
were a little too pretty and polished. He could have easily walked off the set
himself, or a catwalk. Urgh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I tried to smile, but was too
nervous so settled for chewing my lip instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t worry Darlin’, I don’t think you’re much of a
threat.” He laughed to himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Just for that comment I wanted
to kick him in the nuts, but I smiled as much as I could, keeping my lips
together so my ‘normal’ coloured teeth wouldn’t be pitted against his
ultraviolet ‘Ross-from-Friends’ glowing, clearly fake, teeth. I was clearly the
only person who had fallen out of the ugly tree in this place. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So with my tail tucked firmly
between my legs, my self-esteem twenty feet below the asphalt and my stomach
churning like a bitch, I stepped under the gate-arm-thing he so very kindly
lifted for me. Because I’m a tiny, tiny girl and couldn’t manage it myself.
Hollywood clearly has a bad effect on me. I’m angry and aggressive. I think I
like it, it’s certainly a change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once past the gate, I had no idea of where I was supposed
to going, or who to ask for. I turned back to the guard and played dumb,
curling a strand of hair around my finger and tilting my head to the side. I
tried puppy dog eyes, but not blinking hurt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You lost little lady?” He said, clearly thinking he was a
Sheriff in a Western. I was definitely going to stomp his balls if I got the
chance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes. I only spoke to the person on the phone briefly about
the job, their name of Zac.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know him. Go straight ahead and go through the big blue
doors on building 19. You can’t miss him, he has a Mohawk.” He laughed to
himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I thanked him and trotted off,
the churning in my stomach getting more and more violent as I took each step
closer. They were going to eat me alive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I finally found the building and entered, peering through
the door and startled at the crazy noise and activity that had been hidden from
the outside world. I stepped in, ducking back as three women ran past me, all
in a flurry about something for Zac. Great. If they were scared of him, he was probably
horrible. And I was going to be on the very bottom rung of this hierarchy
ladder. Awesome.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I tried my best to dodge all
the people flying about as though their arses were on fire. It wasn’t easy as
there were people everywhere, lighting and electrical cables to trip over, a
weird plastic sheeting on the floor that wrinkled in places, and the various
boxes of props that littered every available space. I weaved through the maze
of set pieces, backdrops and standing props, looking for a Mohawk. The guard
was right, you couldn’t miss him. Huge red Mohawk, rings through nose, lips,
ears and brows, fluorescent clothing and a way of standing that made it evident
that he was the king.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I approached nervously, dodging more people running around,
flinching against the shouts, cries and screams of busy people. This place was
dangerous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Zac was stood between the rows
of makeup mirrors, the cliché movie star ones with the bulbs around them. I was
slightly awed that they were real, until I realized Zac was staring at me with
contempt and a raised eyebrow that just dared me to explain why I was in his
presence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Um…Hi, I came about the runner job…” I trailed off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The makeup girls were laughing
at me, speaking to each other behind their hands and shooting me bitchy looks.
I don’t know why they bothered, it wasn’t like I was any kind of threat to
them. Maybe it was the ‘cute’ accent. Maybe they were just bitches to everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Zac cleared his throat and
looked me over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Tomorrow, don’t wear a suit, you will be getting dirty.
Get coffee orders from everyone and go to the place on the corner. We have an
account there, add it to the tab.” He grabbed a pen and notepad off a nearby
table and threw them at me. I caught them, but only just. The girls began
cackling again, their bleached hair and huge boobs just made them look like a
family of clones. Evil bitch clones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Every person here, or only specific ones?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He looked at me in disgust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Didn’t I just say ‘everyone’? Why are you still stood
there?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How would I carry all that back?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m sure you’ll find a way.” He turned away and sauntered
off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I wanted to chase him and rip
some of his piercings out. The bitchy girls were still laughing, openly making
snotty comments about me at a volume I was meant to hear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">There were over 70 people
working on the set (but what the set was for I had NO idea) and I’d almost
filled the notebook. I had to ask some people three times because I’d never
heard of skinny hazelnut soya mocha whatever’s. Each drink had about four
different words in its name. This was going to be bad. I could run away. No one
knew my name or had even bothered to ask, I could run and it wouldn’t even
matter. Nope, that was the old me. I was going to somehow do this. Fuck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I found the coffee shop easily enough, feeling like crying
as I read the list of drinks back to the guy behind the desk. He called a
couple of people from out back and they all got to work, scribbling what they
were on the cups. I stared as the counter was filling with so many of the
damned things. I could probably carry two, maybe three. This was not funny. Was
it some kind of test?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re new aren’t you?” The guy asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They do this to all the new people, it’s like a hazing to
see if they can cope. I’ll send these two to help you carry and we’ll put them
on trays.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you!” I said, letting out a breath I hadn’t </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">realised</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> I
was holding. I might actually manage this. I found it slightly disgusting that
they would do that to someone who clearly already had a rubbish job. A runner.
There was no lower and yet they delighted in torturing them on their first day.
Maybe I’d prove them wrong and they’d be so impressed that they’d give me a
better job? I doubted it, but hope was the only thing stopping me from running away
screaming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The trays fit about 15 cups on each. It would take a couple
of trips, but with the help of the staff, I got all the drinks back and settled
on the fold away table they had food set out upon. I thanked the staff
profusely and started trying to work out what was what. One of the bitchy make
up girls sashayed over and eyed up the table, knocking it with her hip as she
walked past. It wobbled dangerously. I steadied it before anything had the
chance to fall. She walked around the back of the table and without even being
subtle or secretive about it, lifted the back of the table and pushed it over.
I managed to jump back to avoid the scalding hot liquid from burning me, but
some spattered the bare parts of my arms and face, stinging like a bitch. The
makeup girl grinned at me like some kind of evil snake before trotting away
when everyone came to see what had happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Zac as there in an instant, disbelief on his face as her
surveyed the damage; the liquid that was flowing in all directions, the massacre
of paper cups that looked like the fallen of some epic battle and me, trying to
clutch at the worst burns I had received with my hands. My shirt was spattered
with coffee that would no doubt stain, my trousers too though it wasn’t so
obvious. What I didn’t understand was why no one was helping me. My skin was
burning and I was in a lot of pain, but no one did anything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re fired, get the fuck out of here you useless piece
of shit.” He yelled as everyone stood in a circle around the crime scene and
stared at me like an alien life form. The pure venom in their eyes made no
sense. Even if this had been an accident that I had caused, why were they all
being so cruel?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I could feel tears stinging my
eyes as I chewed at me lip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Please could I have a first aid kit or something please.
My skin is scalded.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Fucking English.” Someone sneered behind me. “Trying to
steal our jobs.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My mouth hung open in
disbelief as I looked from face to face pleading for help. The pain in my arms
was a rapid pulse of throbbing that made me feel dizzy. Either that or the
horror of what had happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s going on?” A strong, confident male voice called
out from behind the crowd, people parting respectfully to allow him through.
Even Zac seemed to look at the ground in deference. The crowd began to inch
away as though they were children caught doing something bad by a parent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The man who walked through the
parted people like Moses and the Red Sea was… Holy crap he was unreal. I
flinched as he strode across, looking at the mess, his eyes falling on Zac and
blazing with anger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What is going on? Why has no one gotten her help? What is
wrong with you people!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Everyone rushed away,
desperate to be the one to curry favour with him and bring me what I needed.
The very same bitch who caused the problem handed the man a green first aid
case, smiling sweetly and asking if he needed any help. He wasn’t impressed by
her act, though he thanked her politely, his voice had a cool, hard edge to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Could you grab a mop and help get this cleaned up?” He
asked, his voice softening, suddenly sweeter than flowers dipped in honey. She
was momentarily dazzled, but then realized what he had said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">She did not like that!
JUSTICE! Whoever this man was, I loved him. I didn’t care if he took my around
the corner and screamed bloody murder at me for the mess, he had gotten that
cow to clean up HER mess. She stalked off, stomping her heels but not daring to
refuse him. Was he the director? The owner of the lot? They all seemed to know
him, but I was clueless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He gently took my arm and lead me over to a folding chair,
kneeling before me and opening the case. He took out what was needed before
examining my arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He ‘mmmmm’ed and ‘ahhhhh’ed as
he turned them in the light. His touch was electric, but very scary. He had
flipped from this scary badass into someone incredibly gentle with the warmest
hands! And he was on his knees before me. He clearly didn’t have a stick up his
arse like the rest of these people. I studied him, trying to search the
decrepit memory banks of my brain to see if he was famous. Probably, I had no
clue. I could see the crown of his head from where he was bent over my left
arm, but not much else. His hair was a mixture of hues from sun bleached near
white to sandier shades of blonde. There were even a few black and auburn
strands from what I could see. The hair was short but long, and I was aware of
how little sense that made. Pieces of it brushed his forehead and around his
ears, curling a little at the nape of his neck. He was tall with incredibly
strong, toned shoulders and back which was obvious from the sleeveless shirt he
wore. His skin made me look translucently pale with its rich tan. The sun
clearly loved him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I looked around to see every female in the building peering
out from behind scenery to watch him work on me. They didn’t hide their
contempt for me or the loathing soaked words they hissed to each other. One
girl caught me looking and gave me the finger. I gave it right back. I don’t
care if she is an A list Actress, I’m seriously pissed off with today. My arms
hurt, I’ve been humiliated, fired and most of my money went on the bastard cab
fare, plus I’d have to walk home in my wet, coffee stinking clothes. I’m not a
fan of coffee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Cold cream was smeared on my skin before he bound it with
gauze and bandages.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s going to hurt like hell for a few days, but I don’t
think it will leave any marks. When you get home, hold it under a cold tap to
ease the pain, or use ice, but other than that, there isn’t much else to do but
wait for it to stop hurting.” He sighed deeply and packed away the things back
into the case.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I want to </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">apologise</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> for those assholes.”
He said slowly, not meeting my </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">eyes. “Helping each other is
not in their vocabulary. It’s pretty cut throat here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you.” I said, barely audibly from my body shaking
with anger, pain and embarrassment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re British?” He said, finally meeting my eyes and
smiling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded, pulling my arms back
and sitting on my hands to stop them twitching nervously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m Van Murphy.” He extended a hand to me. I shook it
carefully, the movement sending reverberations of pain through my arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana MacManus.” I said quietly, feeling myself grow
hot from the weight of his gaze. His eyes were blue and so incredibly intense I
felt that I should look away, but couldn’t. I just stared like a complete
idiot, my mouth hanging open. He smiled again, and it was warm and friendly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I am very pleased to meet you Georgiana. Did Zac fire
you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded, looking down at my
feet which didn’t reach the floor on this seat. I felt like a tiny kid swinging
my legs, too young, too inexperienced and playing at ‘grown ups’. I was losing
this game.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was deep in thought for a
moment, chewing on the skin on his fingertips. There was something incredibly
sweet and self-conscious about it, like a child being made to perform in front
of an audience. He had been fine when he had had something to occupy his hands,
but now he seemed to be drawing back into himself. God he was beautiful. So
tall! So toned! And a random spattering of tattoos on his arm and hand. One was
on the inside of his right arm, another on the fleshy part on the back of the
hand between the thumb and first finger. I assumed it was a tattoo, it was too
dark to be a freckle, but too small to decipher. He face (had I not encountered
his kindness) was one that I would assume was full of anger, the natural set of
it (or whilst in reverie) seemed to be a frown. Sandy coloured stubble traced a
pattern around his chin to under his nose, but not in a pretentious goatee, it
was there, but not obvious until you got closer. There was something so careless
about his style that worked. Now I know nothing about fashion, but this boy (he
must have been in his late thirties) was a walking clothes horse. He’d make a
bin liner look good. With his hand at his mouth, it drew attention to the
adorable Marilyn Monroe style beauty spot he had near the corner of his mouth.
Despite his age, there was something incredibly vulnerable about him, shy,
boyish.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The question of
who he was still niggled at me. From the way the girls were still watching, he
must be important.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Mr.
Murphy…sir…(Americans love their ‘Sirs’ and ‘Ma’ams’) are you a director? I
haven’t been told anything about what’s happening here and as I won’t be coming
back tomorrow…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He raised an eyebrow in
disbelief. This was clearly new to him. I heard the sharp intake of air from
several of the girls gasping. Apparently he was incredibly famous and I was
being a dumb bunny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They were (he heavily accentuated the ‘were’) shooting a
commercial for a new clothing line. I’m one of the actors.” He said modestly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I had half expected all actors
here to puff out their chests, raise their chins and come out with some awful
line such as; ‘No autographs or photos!’ or worse; ‘Don’t you know who I am?’
with such incredulous rage they’d be spitting pins.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My clueless expression must
have clued him in to the fact that I was still none the wiser.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t worry, I’m not particularly well known.” He said
with a grin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">One of the girls snorted and
we both turned to look at her. They all fled, trotting away on their heels and
squealing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was hugely successful and I
was a dumbass. Awesome. I would have to do some research when I got back to my
shithole that was now (tentatively called ‘home’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Now that you are not otherwise engaged employment wise…I’m
looking for a PA if you’re interested.” His expression was earnest without a
hint of mockery. What the hell!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Uh…I…” Good job G, stellar performance. You’ve only been
talking for 27 or so years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I braced myself, taking a deep
breath and hoping words came out this time. He was smiling in such a warm,
friendly way, I felt slightly better, though it did make a blush rise from my
toes to my hairline.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I have absolutely no experience, no contacts and wouldn’t
even know where to start. The fact that I don’t know who you are speaks volumes…”
I chewed my lip and looked at my stupid short legs swinging under the chair
nervously.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You are the first person I have met in this Hellhole that
is sane, grounded, doesn’t trot around in useless shoes, flip her hair with
every movement…” He stopped for breath, working himself into a full rant like I
do. I bit back a smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re like a breath of fresh air. Besides, I’ve managed
this long without a PA, so I’m sure you’ll have the chance to work it all out.
I’m just as clueless, we can learn together.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I could </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">jeopardise your whole
career!” My voice became a high pitched squeal as I thought madly for excuses
to run away again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Was it not bad enough that I had no clue who he was
without destroying his career and doing a great job of making sure everyone
else didn’t know either.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Georgiana, it’ll be fine. If you suck, I’ll just fire your
ass.” He fluttered his eyelids and grinned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I couldn’t help but return it
with a nervous giggle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He fished around in his pocket
and pulled out a business card.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I hate these things, but my agent forces me to carry them
around. My number, email etc. etc. are all on there. Think about it and give me
a call, ok?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded once, desperate to both
stay in his presence for ever and ever and ever amen, and get the hell out of
there before I humiliated myself further.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll call you a cab so you can go home and get cleaned up.
But think about it, seriously. The pay will be good, the company is awesome (he
rolled his eyes) and you don’t have to worry about a dental plan because you’re
from Blighty.” He bit his bottom lip.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He extended a hand to help me
to my feet, being careful of my arm. I realised that I had been too distracted
to notice the pain, but now that I thought about it, it hurt like hell! </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I trudged up the stairs to my flat, each step causing
shockwaves of pain to shudder through my arms. There was a puddle outside my
door that smelt suspiciously like urine. Awesome! Despite the pain and the
piss, I was in a surprisingly good mood. A beautiful man had come to my rescue
and offered me a job. I had two problems; I had no idea of what a PA actually
did. There was also the fact that I would no doubt end up either ruining his
career, or falling so head over heels in love with him that I would be useless.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
unlocked my door and hopped over the puddle. I wasn’t cleaning it up, it might
stop crazy bitch from upstairs from knocking on my door, though she might have
been the one to do it. She seemed like the vindictive sort.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I made a cup of tea, took a
shower (the water was -unsurprisingly- freezing cold, but blissful on my burned
skin!) and collapsed on the bed, staring at the card he had given me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘Van Murphy. Actor. Model. Criminally Beautiful…’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Ok the last one wasn’t on
there, but it should be. I could see why the girls fawned over him, though I
wouldn’t want to get on his bad side. I wasn’t sure if the imposing march to my
rescue had been an act, or he was schizophrenic, either way it was appreciated.
I didn’t think Zac would be asking me back in a hurry.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I wanted to look Van up on the
net, but surprise, surprise, this building didn’t have access. In fact it
didn’t have a lot of things it should have; heating, hot water, safety,
internet, no urine puddles outside my door… Urgh. If I took the job with Van, I
might be able to get out of here! Wouldn’t it be worth giving it a try just for
that? Ok, I was lying to myself. I would be doing it because my heart did crazy
backflips whenever I thought of how tenderly he had tended to my arms. He had
the hands of a manly man; no manicure, calloused skin (no doubt from gnawing at
it) and natural. I doubted he’d had work done, he looked too…real. No Botox- he
had faint lines on his forehead (like a person is SUPPOSED to), his tan was
uneven in places, so must be natural, his teeth were white, but not luminously
so, his hair was tousled and I didn’t think he was wearing an iota of makeup. He
was as men used to be, how they should be, before everyone went mental and
‘metrosexual’. Don’t get me wrong, if you’re wearing makeup by choice, go for
it. I love a guy in eyeliner, but if you’re doing it to follow the flock, it’s
just really sad. I was drifting off into school girl fantasies about Van with
eyeliner and black nail polish ala Jared Leto in ‘The Kill’ video…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Once I’d cleaned up the drool
from the Jared Leto/Van fantasies, I thought I would start researching my new
potential boss. If he were that famous, he’d be in all those celeb magazines,
probably being out-ed as an alien, or having a tail. Back to my favourite place!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Shop dude narrowed his eyes at me as I walked in the door.
I wasn’t sure if it was specifically for me, or all customers, but I kinda
wanted to run away. I didn’t. I gave him a smile and headed for the magazine
rack. Oh oblivion, thy name is George! He was on the cover of almost every.
Single. One. I grabbed them all spending waaaaaaay more than I should have, and
rushing back ‘home’ to see what the gutter press had to say about him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’ve clearly been in a coma for the last five or so years.
This man has been in tons</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"> of movies, TV shows, commercials and modelling
campaigns. There were three ads for clothing in one mag alone that he starred
in. He was so modest by listing himself as ‘one of the actors’. He was THE
actor. The only one that Hollywood seemed to care about from the looks of
things. I learned no end of things, but couldn’t be sure if they were true or
not due to the magazines they were in. He didn’t have a tail from what I could
garner, but he had a son called Luke whose mother was a ridiculously beautiful
and successful supermodel. Awesome! I think I’ll be killing off any fantasies
about the two of us ending up together then. I threw the magazine I was reading
at a wall, not happy about the old picture of the two of them hand in hand
looking blissfully happy. If he was perfect, she was the female version of it,
she shouldn’t have been allowed out of the house due to the hit that every
woman’s self-esteem in a ten mile radius would take just from knowing about her
existence! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I
walked into the bathroom and studied myself in the mirror. I really wasn’t
pretty, or even interesting. The only thing that could be said about me was
‘different’, and not in good ways. My blue eyes were ok, but my nose was too
heavy, my hair was no colour (it used to be blonde and has since faded as I’ve
gotten older), my skin is pretty awful as I have huge pores, a scar on my cheek
(it’s tiny, but still there) from a childhood injury and I get spots as often
as I did as a teen. My bottom teeth overlapped even after 6 years of braces and
never seemed white enough no matter how much I scrubbed, flossed and mouth
washed. I was pale, but not in a nice way like Dita Von Teese, just in a sickly
way. I had a few freckles across the bridge of my nose, but they weren’t
obvious amongst the huge pores. I was a wreck. I’d never had that ‘gorgeous’
phase that girls seem to go through in their twenties after the awkward teenage
years pass and they grow into their features. I just looked like an old
teenager with the fine lines across my forehead and the laughter lines at the
corners of my eyes. I just wanted to punch the mirror in. The only positive I
could find was the fact that I didn’t have to look at me, everyone else did.
But I could see now why the girls at the studio had smirked and mocked me, they
were gorgeous, I was fugly. Short of extensive surgery that I couldn’t afford,
I would always stand out here, for all the wrong reasons.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;">
</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-71120553351792289212012-10-04T00:25:00.002-07:002012-10-04T00:25:49.864-07:00Hell-ywood
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I couldn’t sleep last night.
Between the noises from the street (sirens, cars, yelling and even what sounded
like gun shots) and the music from my new neighbours’, it wasn’t possible. It
didn’t help that I was crying hysterically, doing my best not to make any noise
whilst I was. I couldn’t face calling my parents to let them know I’d got here
ok, so texted instead. I knew if I heard their voices I’d be crying even harder,
wishing I could go home. I was trying to be optimistic, things couldn’t really
get much worse, so in theory would have to improve, right? Right? Shit, I was
royally screwed.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I made myself a tea from the god awful teabags I’d bought
at the shop last night. It tasted like crap but I didn’t care. I needed the
caffeine. I was exhausted and wired, too freaked out to sleep, but too tied to
be awake in any sense of the word. I held the chipped mug desperately between
my hands like a life line. It was probably the only thing holding me together
at this point. I was a weak, frightened little girl who had thought it so
romantic and brave to go to the other side of the world with very little money
and ‘find herself’. Well, I had done that at least. I had learned that I was
fucking insane to do this and that people are bastards wherever you go. I’ve
learned that I would need a HELL of a lot more money to stay somewhere where I
feel remotely safe, and that the only way I’m going to get through the next few
weeks is to be heavily medicated or on drugs. The drugs are not an option, but
at least I had enough of my crazy pills to last me until I could find a doctor.
God bless the NHS as I knew there was nothing like it out here.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I really hadn’t thought this through at all. I’d
expected it all to magically fall into place because all my school friends had
had unbelievably perfect gap years. That was probably because I went to a
school full of rich kids and they hadn’t had to stay in crack dens in the
dodgiest part of Hollyweird. I was so screwed, so, so screwed. I didn’t even
know what to do to fix this. My options were; admit defeat and crawl home with
my tail between my legs, or try to find some kind of job that would allow me
out of here. I wasn’t talented so acting was out. I wasn’t pretty so modeling
and prostitution were out (I hadn’t been seriously considering them anyway) I
wasn’t smart and I had no experience in anything other than retail. I could
beg, but doubted that would be successful. I would need to find a job as a
waitress, or be a runner in a studio or something. I needed a local paper and a
shit load of luck. I hadn’t had any so far, so I’d pin my hopes on the
newspaper. Someone must have a job for me. And not one that involved danger,
talent or looks. I felt like laughing at how ridiculous this all was, or that I
was asleep or in a coma somewhere and this was all an awful dream. Maybe I
could write a book and make some money out of it? But who the hell would want
to read about a whiney British girl having shitty luck in Hollywood? Everyone
was a struggling actor/model/singer here. I wasn’t even able to try out for
something interesting like that!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I braved the streets again to get a paper, feeling a little
safer with the sun up. The building I was in was so enclosed by others like it,
that the sun didn’t reach it and it was in perpetual shadow. It was still warm
though, and once I got out of the block, the sun hit me with its full force.
Just seeing daylight made me feel a little more hopeful, that and the caffeine
making its presence felt. I would be fine. I would find a shitty job, rise
through the ranks and move here permanently. I would live in the land of sun
and excess. I would make something of myself here, and even if I didn’t, no one
knew me, so I could always lie to everyone back home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh yes, I work for a hugely successful movie studio and am
Johnny Depp’s secretary. He doesn’t have a secretary? Well he made the position
especially for me as he was so impressed!” I would need to get a whole lot
better at lying for that to work, but it sounded preferable to; “I live in a
shitty apartment, fear for my life and clean toilets. Could you send me some
money as I ran out a week ago and have been living by eating paper since then…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No, I was fine. The sun was shining, it was a beautiful day
(if I pretended I wasn’t in this scary ass neighbourhood) and I was in the land
of opportunity (I.e. the opportunity to be killed in a thousand scary ways). It
would all work out. This was a new place, a new life and a new me. Maybe if I
said it enough I would actually believe it…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dude from the shop eyed me up suspiciously again. I
remembered to make an allowance for the stupid tax and tried to smile brightly
at him. He narrowed his eyes further and pushed the newspaper towards me,
telling me to GTFO. Awesome. How to make friends and influence people. Maybe I
had an offensive smile? Was that even possible? I walked back to my flat,
thankful that most of the people around here didn’t do morning, or light. The
guy at the desk had thankfully disappeared as I had no desire to see his
sneering face when I was already feeling pretty rubbish. I trudged up the
stairs, dragging my feet and breathing through my mouth to stop the urine and
other suspect smells from entering my nose.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Back inside the flat I opened the paper and spread it over
the floor, discarding the usual rubbish about shopping centres being opened by
minor celebrities I’d never heard of. Maybe reality TV stars, but it didn’t
matter. I discarded the pages with their perma-tans and false smiles smirking
out at me. Urgh. I’d better get used to it as I was in the land of this kind of
thing. I really hadn’t thought this through. I was a wren amongst birds of
paradise, maybe that would make me unique? Whatever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I circled several possible
jobs and dialed the numbers. They were all gone. The last call I made (cleaner)
gave me the number of a company she knew to be looking for a runner on a film
set. The pay was crap, the hours were crap and the treatment was crap, but it
would mean I wouldn’t be sat staring at a wall all day, plus I could maybe work
my way up? Charm them with my ‘cute’ English accent? It hadn’t worked thus
far,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but you never know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I called the number she had given me and blabbed
incoherently at the person who answered. They asked if I had a working Visa,
then told me to turn up at an address at 6am the next day. They didn’t ask
about experience, criminal records or any useful, seemingly important details.
I could massacre the lot of them, but they didn’t seem to care. Why was I
complaining? I had a job! It wasn’t the kind of thing that called for a crazy
celebration dance or champagne, but it was a small relief. If it sucked, I
could keep my ear out for something better. If there was anything better. I got
the impression that you either were hugely successful, or living in the gutter
here, there didn’t seem to be a middle ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hung my suit up and made sure it was crease free and
clean before spending the day cleaning the flat. It was a disgusting, pointless
job, but it kept my hands busy and that was all I really wanted. I read the
rest of the newspaper, giggling to myself in a condescending way at how shallow
and vapid the stories were. From just walking around my block, there were
enough serious issues that a newspaper should be dealing with, but this one was
all about some famous singer’s new album, an actor’s pet Chihuahua breaking
into movies and no end of new stores opening. And my god the adverts! There
were so many, it was hard to find the actual articles, and they were all for
stupid things like teeth whitening, implants, anal bleaching (I kid you not),
acting classes, glamour photo shoots (we all know what that really means),
escorts, bars…nothing positive or real. Meh, that was where I lived now. I
needed to get used to it pretty damn quick.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-70318134325670294562012-10-03T11:02:00.001-07:002012-10-03T11:02:14.337-07:00Being a GeniusAll events in these diary entries are true, apart from those that aren't. I've had to change names, ages, descriptions to protect the identity of those I work for and with. I am posting this with the full consent of my boss (He's awesome). There will be a LOT of swearing. If this offends you, please do not read. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I must have been high on
sugar, or so thoroughly fed up of feeling sorry for myself that I decided I was
leaving the country. What a good idea! I’m scared in my own country and suffer
from anxiety attacks just going to the supermarket I have visited for years,
but I know! I’ll go somewhere I have no clue about, probably can’t afford and
will be bloody terrified of. I had a passport, Visas were easily sorted and I
had ‘some’ money I could use for flights and accommodation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I did my research on which
countries were currently ‘safe’ I.e. No wars, floods, earthquakes, plagues of
locusts etc. Also they have to speak English as my Spanish is very rusty (and I
was never good in the first place) and the few words of Japanese I know are not
going to get me anywhere. I can ask where things are, say good morning, thank
you and name random objects. I can also say I don’t understand which would
probably be useful, but I don’t think it would make me popular.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>America it is then. They apparently speak English (they
take the ‘u’s out of everything! And WTF is a faucet? It’s a frelling tap!) and
it’s cheaper than rip off Britain, or so I’ve heard. Plus I might have to buy
petrol over there (even though I don’t drive or have a car) just because it’s
cheaper. I might also take photos of the signs for petrol prices over here,
then show them to Americans who are complaining about gas prices. I’m going to
be so popular over there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What will really happen is this; Terrified of the airport,
claustrophobic on the plane, terrified at US airport, forget Visa papers, look
guilty, get arrested, have cavity search, homeless, jobless, die of exposure.
It’s lucky I can’t afford (and am not attractive enough) to be a crack whore. I
think if I get scared enough I’ll be willing to do anything to get myself
through it. Though I am far too much of a control freak to do drugs, smoke or
even drink. Tea and crumpets bitches!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They were going to love that I was the typical Brit chick
in the sense that I was relatively well spoken (not posh, but not chavvy. I
said darnce rather than dance.) I drank tea, moaned about the weather etc. etc.
I was expecting that I would get a lot of questions about the Royal Family,
because everyone in the UK is on a first name basis with all of them, and
frequently get invited to the Palace for high tea. They were going to think my
accent was ‘cute’ and ask what part of London I lived in (because everyone in
England lives in London.) I would hide the fact that I had Irish roots as I
think they’d go even more loopy over that. I’ve been to Ireland once, so don’t
think I would be able to answer any questions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was packed (it was pathetic
how little I had; just a few clothes, toiletries, my iPod, a book…) and had
everything sorted. Due to my complete and utterly level of genius-ness, I had
chosen Hollywood. Yeah. A girl who doesn’t wear make-up or care about fashion
chose Hollywood. Nice move idiot. But I suppose I thought that if I’m going to
do something stupid and crazy, I should push it that little bit further. Why do
things by halves?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The airport in England was bad
enough. Having no one who cares enough to see you off, or telling you they’ll
miss you, and to write soon, is deeply depression. Plus it is a scientific fact
that time goes backwards in airports. Duty free only burns so much time, and
then it’s just you staring at the departures board to see that your flight has
been delayed for two hours. Awesome. I don’t know how I passed the time. I
spent a lot of it in a toilet cubicle having a huge, epic, mother of all panic
attacks which was fun. Once the adrenaline was burned out, I felt like I might
not die, which was nice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The plane journey sucked. Once you’ve taken off and landed,
there isn’t really much else of interest. I’d been too poor to buy tickets on a
flight that had a movie, and didn’t get the window seat. I also forgot to tell
them I was Vegan so couldn’t even eat the food. 8 hours sat next to someone who
snores, belches with their mouth open and has rolls of fat spilling over the
arm rests. I honestly couldn’t tell if they were male or female, it was awful.
I must have dozed at some point, but was woken by the god awful snoring of the
‘dude looks like a lady’ next to me. Their huge arm fell into my lap and I was
unable to find anywhere else to rest the bloody thing. The armrest was
enveloped in flab, the stomach was a huge round mound that wouldn’t let it sit.
I kicked the person’s leg and pretended to be asleep. I was already feeling
claustrophobic without feeling trapped by how much the person next to me was
spilling onto my seat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And it just got better when I
got to the good ol’ US of A.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“GET BEHIND THE GREEN LINE!” The official in the glass box
yelled at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">There was no green line! I
looked around me everywhere in a panic thinking that maybe I had actually lost
it, or he had, when I saw a grey patch on the carpet. Did he mean that? I
stepped back behind it feeling thoroughly sick. I’d only just come into the
country and I was being yelled at. I was already nervous enough without that.
On TV, everyone in America was friendly and happy, cheerful and ‘have a nice
day now’. This guy was evil. He stared at me with narrowed eyes even though he was
checking other people’s passports. Mine was getting wetter by the second as my
palms sweated on to it. I wiped it on my trousers, not wanting to annoy him
even more. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes and my throat beginning to
close up. I won’t cry. I won’t cry. He’s just having a bad day and taking it
out on me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“NEXT!” He yelled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I leapt clean out of my skin,
hurrying over to the window on locked knees and shaking calves. I handed my
passport to him in such an apologetic way, I probably looked incredibly guilty.
I felt incredibly guilty. He looked it over several times, looking from me to
it over and over. He wasn’t going to let me in. I was going to be sent back to
England without even having seen any part of America but the depressing airport
and the evil security guy. Shit.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He took a deep breath and
nodded in irritation, practically throwing my passport through the window at
me. I swallowed hard and continued on, feeling like a little lost lamb or
something equally pathetic. This place was HUGE. I’d been to airports before, but
not like this. How did everyone else know where they were going? At least I was
in a country that spoke my language. Small mercies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I followed the signs to the luggage carousels, hating these
god forsaken things with such a passion I was tempted to pay someone to grab it
for me. My case was huge and probably equal to my body weight. This was going
to be embarrassing and messy. I stood by the evil thing and watched as everyone
else’s suitcases came out, people grabbing them easily and leaving. Soon I was
one of two people left and there was still no sign of my case. I was feeling
the usual signs of panic clawing at my chest and making my breathing pick up.
Please god let it come out. I don’t know what to do if it doesn’t! What the
hell was I thinking coming here? What the hell am I doing? Part of me wanted to
find a payphone and call my mum. I was 29 for Christ’s sake! I shouldn’t even
be thinking like that. This was my chance to stand on my own two feet. The case
would come, I was just being impatient.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Eventually I saw it come through the curtain and my heart
leapt ridiculously in relief. So easily pleased! I moved closer to see if I
would be able to grab it in one attempt, thankful that there weren’t many
witnesses around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That yours?” A heavily drawling voice made me flinch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Uh…yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Tiny little thing like you is gunna struggle with that.
Allow me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He was tall, tanned, toned and
wearing a cowboy hat. I assumed the accent was Texan, though I was no expert.
He yanked my case off the conveyor as though wrestling a steer, placing it on
the ground next to me with ease.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you so much.” I said breathlessly, relieved at not
having to look like an idiot dragging that thing off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My pleasure Ma’am.” He said, tipping his hat to me before grabbing
his own case and wheeling it away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I stood there staring for a
few minutes, unsure of what to do now. That was just plain weird, and feeding
just about every cliché I had in my head about Americans, with the ‘ma’am’, the
tan, the accent. If everyone here was like him, I would be ok I think. It
didn’t hurt that he was beautiful. Maybe that wouldn’t be so great, I didn’t
think my already crushed self-esteem could handle being surrounded by beautiful
people all the time, but then I had stupidly picked the most plastic, fake,
beautiful place after all. What an idiot. Maybe they’d find me quaint and
unthreatening. Maybe they’d just assume that’s what the English are like. Maybe
I’d be torn to shreds within two days. I shook the thoughts off and decided to
deal with one thing at a time. I need a taxi. Deal with that and then come to
the next thing, then the next, then the next. That was how we would get through
this, by breaking it down into manageable chunks. Not by thinking I was a
million miles from home, knew no one here, had very little money, needed to
find a job and had no idea what the hell I had been thinking when I hopped on
that plane. No, this was fine, everything would be good. I was fine. I was ok.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The sun was unreal as I
stepped out of the air conditioned airport. SUN! I felt like maybe doing a
little dance as it had been so long since I’d seen the damned thing, but I
would stand out like a blatant tourist. I already did with my impossibly pale
skin. I felt like a different species to every other person that walked by,
they were all bronzed with sun bleached hair. The sun was normal for them; they
weren’t breaking out in a sweat just by looking at it. I looked around for a
taxi rank and began wheeling my stupidly heavy case over to it. The curb was
something of a nightmare and I toppled the damned thing and crushed my foot,
but no one saw so it was ok.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Where ya heading?” A middle aged guy with very little hair
poked his head out of the window of the nearest cab and smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I took the address from my
pocket and handed it to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Need some help with the case?” He was already out and
popping the boot, lifting it in with ease. Was I that pathetically weak? I knew
the answer to that. When I had some money I was joining a gym as this was
getting silly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So where ya from?” He asked as he pulled out of the car
park.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“England, not far from Oxford.” I said trying to think of a
place he might have heard of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oxford huh? You must love the sun?”<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s gorgeous! Summer was a complete wash out this year.
I’m in awe of it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Your accent is so damn cute!” He said, looking at me in
the rear view mirror.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">And so it had begun. I knew I
would be hearing that a lot while I was here. I didn’t have a posh voice, but I
didn’t speak like a chav either with the ‘innits’ and ‘whatevs’ crowd. I used my
‘t’s and said barth instead of bath. Southerners, what would you do with them!
So I’m sure to him I probably sounded like a snob. Who knows, maybe I could use
it to my advantage; say I’m a Lady or something. They wouldn’t know otherwise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thanks.” I said, not knowing what kind of response was
appropriate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“They’re gunna love you here. All Colin Firth or that new
princess…’Kate’?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s it.” I said sighing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The royal wedding could not
have interested me less, but I knew some Americans had been fascinated by it. I
had hoped to escape all that by coming here, but apparently not. Could I put on
a fake American accent? I knew the answer to that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So here for business or pleasure?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Both I suppose. I need to find a job; I have a long term
working visa.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’ll be fine. There’s no end of places here that are
crying out for waitresses, or the studios often need runners and gophers.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Bugger. I had hoped for
something a little better than that, but needs must. Life was supposed to be
cheaper over here, I had come from rip off Britain after all, I’d be fine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So where are you from?” I asked politely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“New York originally, but Hollywood calls to us all. That
or Las Vegas.” He laughed at some inside joke, or maybe I was just being slow.
I smiled politely.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We got to the apartment block
in about an hour. When he pulled into the car park, I prayed he had gotten the
address wrong. Shit, what a dump.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I paid and took my case from
him, staring at the building as though it would magically transform into
something nicer if I prayed hard enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We were clearly in a rough
part of town, with cars racing past, over turned bins everywhere and people
screaming abuse on the other side of the street. I was given the finger when a
woman caught me looking at her, so I put my head down and rushed to the
entrance. I was going to be murdered in a week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The front of the building was no better than the side; the
sign had lost half its letters, or someone had stolen them, as it read ‘Ass
Wood Apartments’. It was supposed to be the Classic Hollywood Apartments, but
the ‘new’ name seemed to suit it better. The paint was flaking from all the
wooden window frames, the windows on the ground floor were smeared with…I didn’t
want to know what, and the door buzzer hung by exposed wires, swaying in the
wind. I took a steadying breath before pushing the door open, hoping the inside
was better.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The lobby area stank of urine,
alcohol and cigarettes, and litter was everywhere. The lift was apparently out
of order, and the guy behind the desk looked more likely to murder me than
help. He wore a dirty white vest and had a lot of teeth missing. He took a drag
from his cigarette and blew the smoke in my direction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I uh….I have a flat rented. My name’s Georgiana MacManus.
Uh…George is fine.” I said, not knowing why.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He raised an eyebrow, looking
irritated, puffing on his fag again before rifling through a pile of tattered
papers on the desk.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“302. Lift’s broke. Good luck with the stairs.” He laughed,
pushing a set of keys across the desk to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My chewed on my lip to stop my
eyes tearing up again. Weakness would be the worst thing to show a man like
that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I managed a flight of steps,
dragging the case behind me, but had to stop and rest at the break between
them. A suspicious liquid was all over the floor here and I was guessing it was
pee from the smell. Excellent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Land of opportunity my arse!
But this was all I could afford. Hopefully if anyone did try anything, they’d
kill me before raping me. Just thinking like that made my stomach roil
dangerously. What was I doing here?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It took a good fifteen minutes to make it to the third
floor. Several people passed me, all laughing as I struggled, making no effort
to help. I wasn’t really surprised, but I was a little disappointed. My ankles
were in agony from whacking the bastard case against them as I pulled it up the
stairs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I put my key in the lock of 302 and prayed to gods I didn’t
believe in that it would at least be clean and not full of roaches.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">How wrong can a girl be?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Opening the door disturbed
several from whatever they were eating and they scurried away into the kitchen
area. They were huge. I mean HUGE. There were Chihuahuas smaller than those
things. I hate bugs! How was I going to sleep in here?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I closed the door behind me
and wheeled the case into the centre of the main room. It was an open area with
a kitchen part by the door, a bathroom opposite (I wasn’t feeling brave enough
to open that door yet) and a tiny bedroom with a single bed. The mattress was
stained with what I hoped was tea. The whole room was musty and damp, stains of
it crawling the walls and converging in every corner. Gorgeous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I opened the windows wide to
get some air in, wondering what to do with myself now. I didn’t want to open my
case with those roaches around, but I couldn’t kill them. I was a Vegan for
Christ’s sake. Urgh! Urgh! Urgh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I put my case in the room and decided to go talk to the guy
behind the desk. The room may have been cheap, but there must be some kind of
rules about how clean it was?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hi…there are cockroaches in my room.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Just be thankful I don’t charge you extra for them.” He
said with a laugh, stubbing out his cigarette and lighting another.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I was hoping you could remove them please.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He laughed again, like it was
the funniest thing he had ever heard. He got to his feet and leaned over the
counter, towering over me and trying to make me feel small. I was fucking fed
up. I was tired, irritated by dragging that bastard case up the stairs, my room
was gross, the area dangerous and now this bastard was being an arsehole.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Look, you remove them and I won’t go to Environmental Health,
ok?” I smiled sweetly, wondering where this burst of courage came from. I
assumed it was either adrenaline or exhaustion and just hoped he wouldn’t punch
me out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Enviro what?” He blew smoke in my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">God I missed the indoor
smoking ban that we Brits enjoyed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Environmental health, the authority that ensures that
living conditions are up to a certain standard.” I thought for a moment.
“According to Bylaw 32.5 all places of residence must be free of damp, vermin
and in a sanitary condition before new tenants are allowed to live there.” I
was so full of shit, but I hoped he would just assume I had some idea of what I
was talking about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is that so?” He scratched a scab on his neck, picking the
skin off and dropping it to the floor. “Whatever lady. I’ll move you to another
room if that one is unacceptable.” His voice was laced with venom and I had no
doubt I would be regretting this at some point in the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He smiled, but there was no
warmth or kindness in it, it was a feral, sly thing. He was going to give me a
worse room. Great!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">My new room was at least free
from bugs and damp, but was facing the main road. Cars zoomed past loudly and
my new neighbours on either side liked to play their music very loudly.
Fan-fucking-tastic. Today just got better and better. Maybe he’d give me back
the roach room if I asked nicely? The mattress at least was clean, though I’d
stupidly not thought to bring bedding with me. I unpacked what I could, feeling
a little despondent at how empty this place was without a TV or radio to drown
out everyone else’s noise. Maybe I could ask them to turn it down? I’d probably
end up getting stabbed or worse. This area was no doubt filled with delightful
people such as gang members or drug dealers, crack whores and every other kind
of low life. Call it snobby, but I was more concerned with my personal safety
than being open minded about the types of people that lived here. Sure there
must have been those like me who couldn’t afford anything else, but there were
areas like this back home and they were all bad news.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I sat on my bed and stared at the wall, wondering what to
do with myself. The sun was setting and I wasn’t sure it was safe to leave once
it got dark. My stomach rumbled. I had no food. I took a couple of notes from
my wallet and left everything else hidden I my case. If I were going to get
mugged, I’d rather they didn’t get my passport and cards.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I descended the stairs,
smiling at everyone I passed. One woman was clearly on meth, her face caved in,
cheeks sunken and teeth rotted. Excellent. I was screwed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Is there a local shop nearby?” I asked her, not wanting to
have to talk to the guy at the desk again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah, turn right when you get out of here and walk three
blocks. Run by rag heads.” Delightful. Racist and a meth addict.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thank you.” I said, trying to get away as quickly as
possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Seriously, I don’t know what I
had had in my head about coming here, but this was not it. I was slightly proud
of myself though; I hadn’t cried, I hadn’t jumped back on a plane back to
England, I hadn’t rung my parents telling them I lived in a drug den and I had
sorted my room out…kinda.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There were four guys smoking around the door when I left
the building. They all looked me up and down before turning back to their
conversation. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or offended. I stuck with
relieved. If I’m ugly, hopefully I won’t be attacked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I followed the meth lady’s
directions, keeping to the street lights and walking quickly. It was getting
dark quickly and I suspected a whole new group of creatures would be coming out
when it did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">The streets themselves were a
lot like back home, boarded up shops, graffiti, litter and people looking a
little lost. The economy had tanked everywhere and no one was untouchable. The
only difference was that here it was still blissfully warm, and some of the
graffiti seemed to be in Spanish. Thank god I chose that over French at school-
I might need it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I reached the shop, not feeling too reassured by the metal
grating over the windows or the gun the shop owner had on the wall behind the
till. Guns. Not something I had any experience with at all. No one I knew had
them, used them, or even wanted to. I wasn’t so naïve as to think there weren’t
any, but it seemed to be confined to the cities. I was happy to stay well out
of it. The one mounted here looked to be some sort of shot gun, not that I
really knew, I was guessing from the times I’d played Resident Evil and found
it best for head shots.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The owner didn’t seem pleased to see me, his eyes following
me as I wandered the aisles. It was a dank, dreary little place, but I found
bread, fruit, pasta and diet cola easily enough. Teabags, soya milk and sugar
had been a little harder, but I found them in the end. I counted out my money
and handed it to the owner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You forgot the tax.” He told me the amount with the tax.
Cheaper over here my arse! Why not just add the bloody tax to the prices? What
the hell! I was not a happy bunny as I lugged my bags back to the building,
wondering why people put up with never knowing how much anything ever was if
the tax was added at the till.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was in full rant mode in my
head when I got back to the building. The four guys were still smoking, but
they’d moved on from cigarettes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hey cutie, want to join us?” One of the men called out,
blocking the doorway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No thank you, I’m really tired.” I said, trying to smile,
though my knees had started to lock. I felt like a rabbit in headlights, unable
to move though I know I need to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We can help with that honey.” One of the other men said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">It was too dark to make out
features, but they were all in their late twenties at a guess, taller than me,
stronger than me and smoking what smelt like pot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m jet lagged, but thank you. Maybe some other time.” I
said, trying to get past the one who blocked the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re English right? Awesome!” The guy who blocked the
door was smiling down at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I nodded, took the handle and
tried to pull it against him, losing the feeling in my fingers from the weight
of the bags I was carrying.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You need some help with those?” He went to take them from
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m good, but thank you. I really should be going.” I
smiled as convincingly as I could manage, before pulling the door gently.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">He took the hint and moved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I let out the breath I had
been holding as I got inside, leaning against the door for a moment and trying
not to cry. They probably hadn’t wanted to do anything to me, but that didn’t
make it any less scary. My heart was thudding, my hands were soaked and my
knees were feeling unreliable. I sat on the bottom step and took a minute to
catch my breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“MOVE!” Someone shouted from behind me, kicking me sharply
in the back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I fell to the ground, hitting
my knees on the hard floor and knocking my bags over. Everything spilled out
over the floor as the guy stepped over me and spat. It hit my cheek and ran
down. I was on all fours staring in disbelief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What you fucking looking at bitch?” He yelled, squaring up
and taking a step closer. I looked down at the floor and busied myself with
picking up the shopping.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I don’t know how I made it back to my apartment, but once
the door was closed, I collapsed in a heap against it and began to cry. My
knees were bleeding and bruising already, my hands were grazed, my back was
pounding where he had kicked me and I was scared, genuinely scared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">What the hell had I been
thinking coming here? Could things get worse than this? I hoped not. I was a
heartbeat from getting a cab back to the airport and heading home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A banging on the door made me yelp in fear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“KEEP THE FUCKING NOISE DOWN IN THERE!” A female voice
yelled through the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So I can’t even cry in peace.
I hate this place. I stuffed the bottom of my t shirt in my mouth and cried as
quietly as I could.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-69789998576465285772012-10-02T23:47:00.000-07:002012-10-02T23:47:26.878-07:00RunBefore we begin, an explanation and a disclaimer. All events in these diary entries are true, apart from those that aren't. I've had to change names, ages, descriptions to protect the identity of those I work for and with. I am posting this with the full consent of my boss (He's awesome). There will be a LOT of swearing. If this offends you, please do not read. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt 144pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><u>Run.</u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">Life is circles. It’s being
tied to a wheel; sometimes you are lifted into the air and sometimes you are
crushed into the ground. I had thought I was getting somewhere by moving out,
having a long term relationship and getting my cats (I hadn’t been allowed pets
as a kid as my mum was scared of <i>everything</i> ) I’d had my job for four
years, and despite loathing it to the very depths of my being, I hadn’t quit.
The debt was there, taking a chunk from my wages every month, crippling me and
always a constant reminder of that hateful bastard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then the breakdown came.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">There is nothing more fun than
having your own mind betray you, your body unwilling to do what you want and
need it to. Getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the world and everything
is too much. Dressing, washing, brushing your hair, eating…it’s all too much
for your poor head to cope with, so you don’t do it. You don’t do anything
apart from stare at walls, lock yourself in the bathroom with a scalpel and cry
a lot. The crying is a relief though as there are days when nothing will come
and it’s just silence with no way to get the pain out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I had moved out again. Was living with a 21 year old who
also lied to me about having quit smoking and had lied about his age. I’d
thought he was 22 and he’d never corrected me. He turned 21 not long after we
met. I found out about his lie from the birthday cards at his mother’s house. I
was desperately afraid and leapt into the relationship. We rented a house,
bought furniture and pretended that we were compatible. We weren’t. He lied
about everything and when I was having my breakdown, he would hold me down and
cover my mouth so I wouldn’t upset the </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">neighbours</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">. He would get drunk and be
utterly, utterly vile to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’m not so delusional at to think living with someone like
me is easy, it’s not. There’s only so many times you can find your girlfriend
in a heap on the floor with a knife in her hands before you stop taking it
seriously. I never cut myself anyway. I couldn’t do it. The one time I managed,
the knife was so blunt it didn’t break the skin. I crushed pills to overdose,
hid broken glass, ran away to throw myself onto train tracks, but I could never
do it. I was off work for four months as I couldn’t cope with anything. I got
sick of his lies and moved out again. Back with my parents. Back in that tiny,
stupid room. Back to selling all the furniture. Back to crippling anxiety from
being in this god forsaken house. Back to not eating, sleeping and drinking so
much tea my eyes felt as though they had dried out. I wasn’t alive. I wasn’t
even really existing. I don’t remember large chunks of that period. Maybe it’s
my brain trying to protect me, or maybe it’s because I was so out of it and
spending all my time planning my demise, and then loathing myself because I
couldn’t do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">I was referred for CBT. The
therapist had a lisp and always looked as though a child had dressed her with
her rah-rah skirts with leggings underneath and the shoes that wouldn’t have
looked out of place on a porcelain doll. The woman was crazy, how was she
supposed to stop me from being completely mental. It was all a bunch of hippy
shit anyway; breathing in one colour and breathing out another, imagining that
all my problems were in beach balls that floated around me, but couldn’t hurt
me. My ‘safe place’ which was supposed to allow me to visualise another place
that I felt comfortable with. She told me about her other patient’s ‘safe
places’. One imagined she were flying on those dragon things from Avatar,
another that she was in a huge library, a third put herself in her favourite
movie. That was all well and good, but when I actually managed to imagine
myself away from my life, I would just get all the more depressed when I had to
go back to reality.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Psycho analysis is the next thing on the list, after
throwing no end of anti-depressants at me hasn’t worked. I’ve tried every one
they can think of; Citalopram, Sertraline, Fluoxetine (which made me even more
manic and suicidal), mirtazapine, diazepam…I can’t even remember half of them,
and they all have fun side effects. Citalopram and Sertraline made my anxiety
attacks worse and caused palpitations. Diazepam (short term use) made me groggy
and feel detached from everything, but not in a good way. Mirtazapine made me
put on a stone, not good for a former anorexic that is constantly battling the
resurfacing of that Ana bitch. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">So I was a huge mess. I was no
use to anyone and signed off work again for several weeks. I severed all
contact with the two toxic friends that I had, and spent a lot of time sat in
that tiny room. My therapist would always ask me if I had a ‘plan’. Apparently
a person isn’t truly suicidal unless they’ve worked out what they’re going to
do. I’ve picked the tree, I’ve gathered some washing line and I’ve planned my
note. I just can’t do it because I’m a coward who is afraid of failing. A
thought worse than living? Disabling myself so badly in a suicide attempt that
I don’t have the option of killing myself anymore. That would be pure hell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 4;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7755086975810605271.post-10337232946667127142012-10-02T04:34:00.000-07:002012-10-02T04:34:15.972-07:00Before Hollywood (Or; why I'm f*cked up)
<span style="color: red;">Before we begin, an explanation and a disclaimer. All events in these diary entries are true, apart from those that aren't. I've had to change names, ages, descriptions to protect the identity of those I work for and with. I am posting this with the full consent of my boss (He's awesome). There will be a LOT of swearing. If this offends you, please do not read. </span><br />
<span style="color: red;"></span><br />
<span style="color: red;">I'm a British girl who ran off to Hollywood. You'll see why later. The events I'm mentioning are in the past and not a day by day up date. When we get up to speed, I will continue posting on a day to day basis as interesting things arise. It'll all make sense after the second or third post, but I don't want to post it all at once.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It would never work. He’s a
smoker, I’m anti-smoking. He’s worships Jack Daniels and I’m a teetotal-er. He
has a son, I don’t like kids. He’s beautiful, talented and popular, I’m none of
those things. He’s a Hollywood movie star and I’m…well…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">29 and still living with my
parents. Left in debt by an ex after an 8 year relationship. Crappy retail job.
No prospects. No boyfriend. No friends. No talents, not pretty. Hollywood was
the natural choice. What was I thinking?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I run. I run when things get hard or complicated. I’ve done
it all my life, and whilst it’s not something I’m proud of, it is a survival
tactic.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The one time I didn’t run? I
ended up ten grand in debt and my parents had to bail me out. Not good. Not
good at all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;">We’d been together for 8 years so I thought I could trust
him. He had an IVA (basically he was riddled with debt and couldn’t pay it off)
so couldn’t get a phone contract, loan, finance, credit card etc. etc. I had
always been really careful with money to the point of misery. My parents
borrowed from me because I always had savings. I had rubbish jobs, but was so
careful, I was always ok. Then he came along.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’d been single for two years and he was the first guy to
pay me any attention. I was lonely. He seemed like a good guy. Seemed like.
Three years older with his own car, he seemed so mature. I was 20 and had never
learned to drive. He was freedom. I needed out of my parent’s house. We were
together a year before I realised I had absolutely nothing resembling
attraction for him. He actually repulsed me physically. I didn’t want him
touching me. We continued on in some semblance of a partnership. He had been a
virgin so had no idea about relationships and I’d only been with one guy before
him. It was normal to hate your partner right? Right? No? Oh…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, after nearly 8 years, he starts becoming very
interested in his appearance. He was hitting 30 so I assumed it was an early
midlife crisis, but he was always talking about a particular woman at work
called Kirsty. It was suspect. I asked if anything was going on which he
vehemently denied. I was being paranoid he said. Yeah, sure. She sent him a
birthday card with an essay in it and he was sticking to a diet for the first
time since I’d known him. He was exercising, getting contacts, buying new
clothes… I asked him so many times what was going on, but of course I was being
paranoid. We needed a new car, so obviously that was down to me to get the
loan. 7 and a half grand along with the 2 grand credit card we’d run up
(because he couldn’t get credit). The second the money was through, we bought a
car. In cash. I thought nothing of it at the time. The car’s details were never
out of his sight and in his name (I couldn’t drive so again, thought nothing of
it). The rest of the money was transferred into his bank account at his request
for bills. I thought nothing of it. Stupid, naïve girl! But after that long,
you’d think you’d be able to trust someone. Apparently not.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He came home one day from work, after I’d been making a
meal from scratch ready for him when he got back. He wanted to be with her.
He’d arranged to stay at a friend’s house because he knew I would go mental. I
wasn’t being paranoid after all. Fucking Bastard.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The parts I don’t understand;
she’s older than me, fat and has a huge gap between her teeth, looks like she’s
been hit in the face with a spade and has two kids. And is still married. Oh
the face book conversations with her husband! What fun I had. And by fun, I
mean agonising torture when he wouldn’t believe me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And I thought I could win him back. I thought I wanted him
back. He left me with a rented house that I couldn’t afford on my own, bills,
two cats that I would have to re-home (they were my precious babies.) ten grand
of debt and nowhere to go. My parents had given my room to my brother, and his
room was now a ‘storage room’.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I cried. A lot. I contemplated
suicide. I got so far as cutting down the washing line, setting up a step
ladder under the loft hatch and had the thing around my neck. Unfortunately my
cats were staring at me with such curious expressions that I felt incredibly
guilty. I should have been thinking about my family, but no, it was my cats
that stopped me. That and the sudden lightning strike of realisation that I was
actually free of him. Those wasted years of my life with that fat, lazy,
disgusting, racist, sexist man who thought mocking disabled people was funny.
The one who would get pissed off with me when I woke up in the middle of the
night having an anxiety attack and would <i>beg</i> him to talk me down from
it. The one who had been lying to me for seven years, telling me he had quit
smoking, when everyone knew he hadn’t. Everyone except me that is. The one who
ran from all responsibility and left me to sort a house out to hand back. The
one who then stole the deposit on the rented house that my parents had leant
us. That ‘man’. I didn’t want him back, I just didn’t want to be alone. I was
utterly petrified of it. Nothing frightened me more than that. There was also
the shame of having to move back home as I was unable to support myself. He had
earned a lot more than me and I couldn’t afford to live somewhere on my wages.
I had a house full of things that I loved, books I had imported from Japan,
figurines, clothes, everything that a house generally holds…I had to give it
all away or sell it at car boot sales for pennies. My whole life was laid out
on a couple of tables, all priced up for criminal discounts. All those things I
had spent my wages on, my precious, precious books. My life for sale to anyone
who’d buy it because I just didn’t have the room in the 8x5 room at my
parent’s. God that hurt. And re-homing my precious Hephaistian and Freya… I
still can’t talk about that without welling up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In the beginning he promised to pay for the loan, after
all, he’d had every penny of it. That soon changed once he had collected
everything of his from the house. I stupidly packed everything for him,
carefully wrapping everything and giving him most of the things that were mine
that he’d bought me. I should have emptied the cat’s litter trays into those
boxes, or hacked all this clothes to pieces. I should have sold all his things
so he had some idea of what I had been through, but I didn’t. I’m not like
that. Stupid, naïve girl, I thought he would pay me back and wanted to keep him
sweet so that he did. On the plus side, his Xbox was covered in Hello Kitty
stickers from when I had redecorated it months ago. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So there I was, 27, moving back in with my parents,
drowning in debt and bitter, twisted and so angry from what that son of a bitch
had done to me. I only cried once in front of my parents, and that was when I
mentioned my cats. I didn’t want them to worry about me, but I was falling
apart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Antidepressants were part of
my staple diet long before all this, but dosages increased, sleep didn’t
happen, caffeine was abused and food neglected. I got my bellybutton and ears
pierced ( a little late compared to everyone else) but it made me feel like I
was changing, growing, progressing. It was something I had never had the guts
to do before. I would come out of this stronger than ever, brave and
determined.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Only it didn’t work like that.
I’m a wreck. A nervous, anxious mess of a thing, frightened of people and the
world. I don’t trust anyone. Oh and the best part? I hate sex. Yeah, like I
wasn’t going to die alone anyway, no man is going to live without sex. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; punctuation-wrap: simple;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-font-kerning: 14.0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’ve been seeing a sexual therapist, but her ‘homework’ is
the stuff of my nightmares. Examining my nether regions in the mirror?
Masturbating in the shower, the bath, in bed, at least three times a week. I
don’t do that. I never have. It makes me feel dirty and disgusting, plus I’ve
never wanted to do it. I’ve never felt the need to. The rest of the world is
out there having sex and using ‘toys’ and all I care about are puppies,
kittens, computer games, movies and music. I’m screwed. I’m going to die a crazy
cat lady that scares all the neighbourhood kids, still living in my parent’s
house that I will inherit once they die. I’ll be a crazy hoarder who can’t move
in her house because it’s full of newspapers, knickknacks and a hundred cats
who will eat my corpse when I die. Eleanor Rigby had more mourners than I will
have at my funeral.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07289162837045776248noreply@blogger.com0